Hand of Blood

It had to have been about two in the afternoon. My judgement was that I had woken up at 12, and I had since watched approximately four episodes of Tom and Jerry and had needed to restock on nachos three times. I was having one of the perfect lazy days; still in my night wear and wrapped in my duvet, stationed comfortably on the sofa, with junk food and old cartoons. I couldn't think of a single thing that could improve my currently content mood. I was starting to enjoy being on my own, and gradually learning to make the most of this 'do what you like, when you like' business. Although, I think there was one thing I was missing.

The guys. It had been a week since I had been to their band practice, and I hadn't seen or heard of them since. Sure it deflated my mood a little at first, as I felt the beginnings of attachment there, but I had eventually got over it. Maybe they weren't as keen on me as they made out, or perhaps it was just down to the fact we hadn't exchanged any form of contact details. Although, Matt did know where I lived, so that lead me to three possibilities. He was too polite just to turn up and expect me to be okay with that, he expected me to make the first move and turn up a Jays place, or he simply was bored of me. All of the answers were equally possible.

I sighed a little in thought as the cartoon credits appeared on screen, telling me another episode was about to start. I dived into my half eaten bowl of nachos, pulling one out and crunching on it thoughtfully. The only problem with cartoon re runs... Is that you've seen them about 100 times over already.

I frowned and glanced behind me as I heard a faint knock on the door. I hoped it was just the postman, and he'd leave a note telling me to pick up a package at the post office that wouldn't fit through the door. That would be helpful to me, as it would mean that I wouldn't have to leave my comfy spot. I started chewing my lip as I could still vaguely see the shadow of someone through the glass in the door, and decided it was too late for the postman anyway.

I struggled off of the sofa, stumbling over the duvet now discarded on the floor and dropping my bowl of nachos onto the coffee table. I scowled back at it as I wandered over to the door, finding that I had been a little heavy handed and the small crisps had spilled over onto the glass surface. I shook my head indifferently and picked up my key from the table beside the door, before finally turning to it and unlocking it. It wouldn't surprise me if I opened it to find an empty doorstep. I had taken long enough.

I opened the door slightly and timidly glanced around the corner, my eyes travelling up and down to find a very tall individual standing in the early afternoon sun. A smile fell on my lips as I pulled the door open fully, allowing myself a full few of the visitor.

"Matt!" I said happily, as he glanced down at me with a grin.

"Hey, Bri," he said with a small incline of his head. A nervous silence followed as we both stood on opposite sides of the doorway, not knowing what to say next. Should I invite him in or was there a specific reason he was here? Surely he should be making the first move here.

"Uhm, what are you doing here?" I asked as brightly as possible, trying not to sound like I was being hostile. I think I managed it quite well.

I noticed Matt's eyes lower for a moment, resting on the ground before travelling back up to my eyes. There was a noticeable pause as his eyes became fixed in mine and nothing else. "Well, me and the guys..." He started, a new hurried, jittery quality in his voice. "Uhm, just wondered if you wanted to come over... But... Uhm," he continued, his voice mumbling off as his eyes moved away from mine once more and floated above me. I raised an eyebrow, endlessly confused by his strange gaze habits. What wasn't I getting?

"Ma-" I started, about to ask, only to have him interrupt me.

"But, you're obviously not ready or anything so... " He said, his eyes timidly falling back to lock with my own. It was those words that took me to understand what he meant, and I bit my lip as I glanced down. My nightwear consisted pj trousers and a single white tank top, white being the most see through of colours I could have possibly chosen, and not even being that thick to start with.

I sighed and shook my head, a light chuckle on my lips. Most guys would probably kill for the oppertunity to check out a girl as oblivious to her appearance as me. I was almost certain Jay wouldn't mind.

"Come in, Matt," I said lightly, taking hold of his wrist lightly and tugging him into the darkened room. "It will take me 20 minutes to get ready. Maximum," I said confidently, turning to lead him left into the living room that connected to the downstairs hall. The fact that my back was now to him seemed to have calmed down his nerves immensely, as I felt him relax under my grasp. Poor boy.

I let go of him and spun back round, his composure instantly changing and his eyes fixing in mine. I laughed softly and shook my head. "Just make yourself at home," I said lightly, flouncing past him as my mood had improved dramatically in under five minutes. "Just don't eat all my nachos, okay?" I added as I turned up the stairs. I saw him nod as he awkwardly walked over my duvet sprawled across the floor, before sitting down on the sofa. I smiled faintly to myself before heading upwards to my room.

+

My twenty minute limit I had made for myself started off with a quick shower and ended with me in my room, yet to even find clothes and still running around in a towel. I honestly hadn't even noticed how fast the time had gone. It took a curious, impatient Matt to alert me of this.

"Are you ready yet?" I heard Matt call out, his voice over loud as he probably wasn't sure where I was. I could almost instantly match the volume of his voice to him being located in the hallway leading up to my room. I bit my lip as I kicked my damp towel across my messy room, still trying to find something to change into.

"A few more minutes!" I called back, crouching down and rummaging through a pile of clothes, throwing them behind me as I looked for something to cover my partly naked self. So far I had only got round to putting underwear on, which was always the easiest bit of my day. Not that I would inform Matt of this as he might give up on me and decide I'm taking too long. As far as he was concerned, I was just putting the finishing touches to my hair or something.

I heard a light sigh that sounded like it was directly outside my bedroom door. I squealed to myself as I jumped up, sprinting across the small room to my wardrobe and looking through it as fast as possible. I paused for a moment as I heard steps moving further away, before getting closer again. Matt must have been wandering around the hall, I figured, which relaxed me just the slightest. I turned back to my wardrobe as my hands clasped around my black ripped jeans. Fitted, but not tight. The perfect kind, I thought, as I quickly dragged them out and tugged them up my legs.

"You don't look like your parents," Matt's voice called out from the other side of the door. I frowned to myself as I looked around my room, my eyes falling distastefully on my current appearance. I hadn't even done my hair yet...

"... Huh?" I responded stupidly, my eyes still wandering my room looking to catch sight of something to spark my interest.

"Your parents. You don't look like them that much," Matt replied, his voice no longer so loud as he had probably worked out what room I was in. I sighed lightly as trailed up to my dressing table, my eyes falling on a picture frame resting there. Matt must have been looking at the photograph of my mum and Spencer that took pride of place in the hall.

"Thats only my actual mum. That guy's my step dad," I replied simply, pushing the photo frame so it fell face down, containing the picture of my mum and me. It had been so much better before Spencer turned up, I swear it had.

"What happened?" Matt asked back curiously; instinctively. It was just 'the' question to ask, right?

I picked up my drink and took a sip as I sat on my bed, trying to figure out where my Rancid shirt was. "Erm... Nothing really. Ive just never known my dad," I said softly, my gaze wandering the room.

"Oh. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked," I heard Matt's concerned, muttered tone return.

"Its... Fine," I replied firmly, not convincing myself let alone Matt. I could distantly feel my grip on the glass in my hand increasing as I thought about my parents and Spencer. Images were flying through my head of all time time we had argued. The amount of times I was told that I was hated and worthless. The amount of times I had asked about my real dad. Mum always said he neither cared nor knew about me. I was never quite sure if she was telling the truth. I don't think I had ever believed her.