Hand of Blood

I was running. I was running through empty corridors, without any doors or windows. Not the tiniest bit of light to guide me, just instinct. Just luck. But I was lost. All lost, and nothing could save me. I didn't know it, but I could feel it, in my heart. I felt hollow, but I kept on running. It made me feel alive. It kept me alive.

I stopped suddenly as my body hurtled into something cold and smooth. I stepped back and found the surface in front of me glowing a bright white. I could see myself reflected in the glass that was blocking my way. I looked awful. I looked scared. I looked dead. And I was covered. Every visible part of my skin was covered in shimmering white lines. Ancient scars. I started scratching at them, hating them for being there. For making me ugly. Vanity is a horrible thing, really.

A scream echoed through the narrow corridor at startling volume. The sound was deafening. The wall shattered and glass started pouring down. Raining over me. I covered my ears to try and stop my head from spinning. A flash of red blinded me. There was no darkness anymore. The endless black was replaced with crimson. Shocking Crimson. I was trapped. I was trapped...

My eyes shot open as I inhaled sharply. Everything around me was dark, heavily shadowed from the little light that was somehow seeping into the room from the street lights. I could feel my heart in my throat. I quickly sat up and pulled my knees up to my chest, pushing the duvet from my body that was doubling in temperature. My breathing was irregular. I blinked around me, seeing nothing but reassuring myself. It was a dream. A nightmare.

Slowly my thoughts began making sense as I stared down at the sofa. I was alone. Kayla must have left me, then, which caused more explanations to slip in to place. That didn't calm my heartbeat, though. On the contrary, I felt more panicked than before and more alone than ever. I could feel tears threatening my eyes as the darkness began to scare me, but I swallowed them back, breathing deeply. Should I start running?

"Brianne?" Came a concerned tone from out of the darkness, causing my body to freeze instantly in surprise. My eyes looked up, searching wildly until they landed on a silhouette in the night. I had no idea how long it had been there; how long Matt had been watching me as I slowly lost my mind.

"What... What're you doing up?" I asked quickly, my voice slurred and shaking, despite me trying to hide the fear from my tone.

There was a pause as silence surrounded us. I was almost certain Matt was assessing the situation. "Drink," he finally mumbled in response, holding up a hand that was disfigured in the shadows. I assumed it was holding a glass or cup of some sort. "Are you okay?" Matt added, his shadow shifting slightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, a weak smile wavering across my face as my heart beat slowly regulated. I took another deep breath and lowed my gaze to my lap. He obviously would have noticed me freaking out. Why bother lying? "I just had a... Nightmare," I mumbled sheepishly, feeling like a little child. I hadn't had that dream in a while, either. It really did feel childish.

"Nightmare?" Matt questioned, instantly sounding curious as he bent down and placed the object he was holding on the ground. That must have meant he was planning to stay a while, or at least listen to me.

"Yeah... I can get them when I sleep in new places," I explained quietly. "Was a right pain when we used to go on holiday," I added lightly, turning to look back up at Matt as I tried to relieve my heavy thoughts. My eyes were adjusting to the darkness and I could just about work out his facial features now. Matt's eyebrows were furrowed together as he watched me.

"I see," he replied, looking concerned. "Are you sure that's not why your parents left you?" He added, smiling coyly at me in his own attempt to lighten the mood.

I allowed myself a small chuckle. "I wish," I said, tugging the duvet back over me as my body began to return to it's normal state. Jay was right in giving me that hoodie. It was pretty cold in here. I suppose I was just more relaxed now than I had been five minutes ago, and feeling better had bought the cold to my attention.

"Where did Kayla go?" I asked half to myself, frowning at another reason behind my bad dream. It wasn't just unfamiliar surroundings that bought it on, but combined with loneliness, it sky rocketed. A strange thing, the mind.

Matt tilted his head and looked thoughtful, his gaze wandering down to the bottom of the sofa where Kayla once had been. "I think she went upstairs," he said faintly. "My guess is she rolled off the sofa, because I heard a loud noise down here. You must be a heavy sleeper, " he added with a small grin, causing me to smile.

"Must be," I mumbled lightly to myself, my gaze wandering the room that was still in darkness. I was trying my hardest to ignore it, but all I could see was crimson replacing it in my minds eye. I shook the image from my head and glanced up at Matt. "... Are there any lamps in here? The dark's freaking me out a bit," I said honestly, lowering my gaze. "And I'd like to sleep tonight," I added, my voice decreasing in volume with each word.

"Oh, of course!" I heard him reply sharply, as his silhouette began moving quickly around the room. A moment later I heard a small click as a dim yellow light glowed from the far corner, nearest the kitchen. I watched as Matt then wandered back over to me, now fully visible to me in his black shirt and shorts. It appeared that we matched.

"Thank you," I mumbled, looking away again out of a little bit of embarrassment. I really did seem like more hassle than I was worth sometimes, I swore it. All I had to do now was hope I would get back to sleep. I could still hear the screaming filling every inch of space, and the glass shattering around me. I still could feel the shards tumbling down over my skin, and it was terrifying.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Matt asked timidly, having stopped walking back over barely a meter from me, with his hands in his pockets.

I smiled weakly back at him, "Yeah, I'll be fine," I replied, breaking my momentary silence. "I just need some more sleep," I added honestly, hoping that I would be able to sleep with my thoughts haunted.

Matt shifted on his feet for a moment as his gaze fell. He was nervous, then, which instantly interested me. "You know, if you want, I could... Stay down here," he half mumbled, his eyes lightly settling on me. "If it would help you sleep, or whatever," he added, smiling nervously over at me.

I smiled weakly back. "You really don't have to," I replied, though very grateful for the offer. Thoughtful of him, you could say.

"Well, does it help to not be on your own?" Matt asked, "I mean, because you mentioned that Kayla had gone... So I'm guessing," he added, his eyes locking with mine. I paused as we watched each other, realising exactly where this gentleman was going with this. Always the gentleman.

I timidly lowered my gaze. "Yes," I replied simply, still not about to lie. What would be the point?

"Then I'll stay," Matt said easily, with bright smile. "And then we can both tease Kay later for being useless," he added, causing me to chuckle lightly.

I hadn't even really responded to the idea before Matt's gaze had begun to wander the room. His hands moved from his pockets to his waist as he pursed his lips in thought. "I suppose it's a sofa or the floor, then," he said with a light sigh, before lowering himself to the ground. He folded his legs underneath him and stretched his arms out as my eyebrows furrowed together.

"The floor?!" I asked critically, sitting up more to look down at Matt. "Why not a sofa?"

"Because that's all the way over there," he explained, pointing to the other side of the room. "I won't be much use over there, now, will I?" He added, smiling back at me.

I returned it weakly from force of habit. "But, we could share this one?" I asked. "Because you'll get cold otherwise," I reasoned, indicating the duvet over me.

"If Kayla couldn't stay on that thing, do you think I could?" He asked with a grin. "Unless you plan on lying on top of me, that's not going to happen," he stated with a chuckle.

I paused and bit my lip in thought. I refused to lose this one. "Well, I'll sleep on the floor too then," I replied, already throwing the duvet from my body and onto the floor. "Then it's fair," I added, sliding myself onto the cold ground and sitting opposite Matt, my legs crossed under me.

He scratched his head in thought before apparently deciding not to argue with me, and smiling lightly. "Deal, then, I guess," he said with a chuckle, tugging at the duvet and starting to spread it out across to floor. I instantaneously reached back up onto the sofa and grabbed the pillows before turning back to Matt. I offered him one, which he smiled to and graciously accepted. A moment later he was already lying on the floor a little way off from me, leaving me plenty of space between him and the sofa. After a brief pause I followed suit and laid myself down, pulling the duvet up over my shoulder as I positioned myself on my side, facing my friend.

Matt's eyes were already lightly closed as my gaze fell onto him in the low light. It took a while before I caught myself completely transfixed with him; the man beside me who was keeping me safe. I was scared to close my own eyes. I just wanted to get back into a dreamless sleep, that was all. Maybe it had been my own fault for agreeing to come over in the first place, as I knew this could happen. Now I was scared of what was lurking behind my eyelids; afraid of the dark.

"... Want to talk about it?" Matt whispered suddenly through our silence, his voice quiet and a little rough around the edges in its low tone. My gaze couldn't leave him, even as his eyes opened to meet with mine for a lack of response on my part. I couldn't response. I didn't know if I did want to talk about it. I didn't know if I could.

Matt smiled softly at me. "It really shook you up, huh?" He asked lightly, his voice still barely catching my ears. "You know a problem shared is problem halved, right?" He added, his reassuring smile never fading.

I paused as I finally tore my gaze away from his, collecting up every little piece of my courage I had. He wouldn't understand, but he wanted to. He wanted to listen. "I... I was trapped, and I couldn't see," I mumbled slowly, knowing full well I couldn't tell him my dream in full. It just wouldn't make sense to him. I would have to be selective with my words. "And I was panicking... And running," I added, chewing my lip as I tried not to think about the rest of the dream directly. The worst parts. "And I probably sound really stupid right now," I sighed, bringing my arms out from under the covers to rub my tired face.

"Not at all," Matt said with a light smile, as my hands rested back down between us. "Dreams don't have to make sense to anyone else but you," he said lightly. I looked back into his face and smiled weakly. If only he knew. If only.

"Thanks," I mumbled suddenly, going off topic as I became uncomfortable. Too close to the truth. Way too close. "For staying with me," I explained.

Matt smiled at me softly. "Anytime," he said simply. "I couldn't just leave you all alone now, could I?" He asked, grinning at me. I laughed softly to myself and shrugged, still drowning in those icy blue eyes before me. Ice... Cold as it collided with my body. I could still feel it on my damaged skin. I sighed to myself as I shook the image from my head once again, trying to forget. I wouldn't be getting to sleep that way, that was for sure. I had to focus on the task at hand. If only I could close my eyes.

"Well... Good night then, Bri," Matt said softly, catching my attention. My eyes were still locked with his curiously. He must have known that was all the information he was getting from me tonight. All that was left now was to make sure my dreams didn't catch up with me. I just had to keep running.

I smiled weakly in return. "Night, Matt," I whispered, hastily forcing my eyes shut. I had already worked out that was what he had been waiting for; waiting for me to sleep before him. I was curious, would he wait until I was asleep completely, to make sure I wasn't alone at all? It honestly wouldn't have suprised me. That was just the sort of person Matt was. He put other people before himself. Selfless, in every way.

The minutes seemed to drag like hours in the silence that followed the darkness. My mind was too awake and on edge to focus on sleep right now, and I was trying to escape the dreams. After a moment, my ears caught onto a sound through the still air; Matt's regular, relaxed breathing as he laid in front of me. It stole my attention. After a little while, I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I became aware that my own breathing had synchronized with his, though I wasn't sure if that had been a conscious decision on my body's part, or a complete accident. I hadn't noticed it until that moment, but we were completely synced. Perfectly. That was my next point of interest, as thoughts played over in my mind; questions.

It was then my mind was no longer craving sleep it was deprived of, but instead focused on the person beside me. The more I focused, the more I could feel his presence beside me, watching over me in an attempt to keep my nightmares at bay. That, in itself, was suddenly reassuring to me while making me that much more curious. I felt strangely comfortable and content with someone just being there, with that presence beside me. With Matt there. The hollow feeling inside my heart, from fear, seemed to be fading, but I couldn't quite work out why he was here at all. Why did someone, anyone, care that much? Suddenly the space between us seemed painful to me.

I couldn't help but open my eyes and glance up at Matt timidly, searching for something I didn't understand yet. His eyelids were lightly closed again, but before long they timidly opened for his gaze to return mine, as if he was conscious of my silent act. It took me a moment to realise I had in fact broken my regular breathing pattern by accident, as I stilled my breath for a moment, which was what he had noticed even before me. I wasn't the only one who had caught on to it, then. Further questions; who had realised first?

Matt's eyebrows furrowed together lightly as he continued to watch me in the silence, his eyes questioning me back as they dived into mine. I couldn't break his gaze, and my eyes were begging with his own; begging to be saved. Screaming in the darkness, and wanting more than anything to have their prayers answered. To stop the fear and the horrible feeling of being lost. My thoughts were spinning, mixing together and confusing me more each second.

After a moment, I felt Matt's hand timidly rest over mine, still lying dormant between us. My eyes finally tore themselves away from his, resting on our hands before flickering back up to their original captivation. Matt's eyes had suddenly gained a new depth in that second, causing me to drown as I fell further in. There was an intensity there, that was new to me. It intrigued me.

His fingers worked their way in between mine, smoothly slotting together as his rough fingertips sent sparks shooting through every tiny part of skin they touched; calloused fingers from years of suppressing metal strings. The only sound to catch my ears was that relaxed and quiet breathing as mine had, again, fallen out of beat, though currently caught in my throat. The simple and innocent act had me bound, but it was exactly the little thing that I had asked for; what I needed, to chase those demons from my thoughts. He knew that, too, perhaps even before I did. I didn't know anymore... But it wasn't enough. Not right now.

In one fluid movement, my grip on Matt's hand tightened, and I abruptly turned away from his figure, while dragging him with me. My gaze settled on the dull material of the sofa, rather than those eyes that were slowly killing me from the inside. Matt's hand was still firmly clasped with mine as it now hovered beside my stomach, still holding on like it was my new found life raft. His body had been moved to become pressed close against mine, his breath falling gently over the back of my neck in a now lost rhythm in his own confusion. It was only then, absorbing his body heat, that I finally began to feel safe.

It took a few seconds before I felt Matt's body relax from my sudden movement; his body moulding around mine as we laid together in the shadows, buried beneath that duvet and supported by the cool floor. I knew he didn't fully understand my actions, but Matt also knew that he didn't need to. It was just one of those things that had to be, to help calm my racing thoughts. To make this feel like home.

I felt Matt's fingers gradually starting to move against my own, each fraction of movement sending more sparks through me and teasing my senses again. "Get some sleep," I heard him breathe into my skin. I nodded obediently as I pulled his arm tighter around me, this time allowing my eyes to flutter closed rather than forcing them, while pushing every other thought other than comfort to the back of my head. I was protected now, from anything that could try to get to me. I think, I felt I always would be.