Hand of Blood

Matt's point of view.

Brianne was out like a light, still huddled tightly against my chest. I couldn't find the strength to lift the frown from my lips as I watched her intently. Even now as she slept, she wasn't peaceful. The light scowl etched into her forehead gave it away.

She had been through so much, not just these past few days, but from the stories I had heard and what I had seen with my own eyes, throughout her whole life. Accident prone or walking disaster didn't cut it. It was never any of her own fault that these things happened to her, it was always else inflicting the pain; her family, complete and utter strangers, and even us, her friends, at times. She didn't deserve it, not an ounce of it. She was so... Perfect, despite all the little things. Despite how hard she was to read, and how closed off she could become to people. She was a good person, that was all it came down to.

All of this was my fault, I knew it. I knew it the moment I lost sight of her, and the moment that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach kicked in. This could have all been avoided if I had simply been with her for the whole night. Fuck, why wasn't I? I should have been around her at every oppertunity, soaking in her smiles and enjoying her company. I always enjoyed Brianne's company, sometimes even more than the guys' or Kayla's. They all had their moments, but she just seemed different. I could never get tired of her. So why wasn't I with her last night? Why didn't I stop this whole mess from happening?

I sighed inwardly and looked down into Brianne's face, tears still shimmering lightly on her cheeks. I had never seen her cry before, though I had seen her on the verge of it. I think she saw it as a weakness, because I had noticed just how often she held them back. That's what made this hurt even more; she couldn't keep up her usual composed exterior despite how strong it was. That guy from the bar shouldn't be able to live for what he done to her. I never wanted to see Brianne upset again. Ever. I wouldn't let it happen. Not again.

I bowed my head, lightly pressing my lips to her forehead for a moment as she continued to sleep soundly. I could feel her tight grip on my shirt gradually loosening as she slipped into a deeper sleep, her breathing becoming slower. I smiled to myself as I remembered the last time we had been so close, at Jay's house. That was an odd night to say the least, but we had never talked about it. It didn't seem appropriate, I suppose, to mention in passing conversation, 'So, Bri, remember that night you freaked out and we ended up spooning on Jay's floor? How awesome was that.' Yeah, that would be smooth, Tuck. Real smooth.

I glanced up as I heard the door creak open, breaking me from my wandering thoughts. I watched blankly as Kayla poked her head around the door before sliding in quietly. She leaned back against the closed door, tilting her head as she looked over at the two of us lying on the sofa together. I have to admit, for a moment, it was a little unsettling.

"Is she..?" Kayla finally asked softly, her eyes connecting with mine. I nodded slowly in response, my eyes falling back down onto Brianne still sleeping in my arms, that scowl still there. I could have sworn it had softened just slightly, though. I saw Kayla move closer out of the corner of my eye, before glancing up to find she was sitting on the floor, in the same spot when I had walked in earlier.

"I just heard Bri crying, so thought I'd check," she explained as our gaze met again, a soft smile on her face. I nodded once more, before my attention returned back to Brianne. I found myself soaking her in all over again, studying every detail, even down to that cut across her bottom lip that kills so much when she smiles. I sighed inwardly, before a sharp gasp from Kayla stole my gaze. I saw her eyes transfixed with Brianne's back that was still on show to the world; those God damn bruises. I looked down myself, feeling the anger creeping up on me as my eyes found those deep purple marks.

I took a deep breath and quickly tugged her shirt down, covering her damaged skin back up. The guy who done this to Brianne probably wouldn't have been breathing now if I had got my way with him, not for what he did to her. He should have thanked Padge for saving him when it mattered. If he hadn't of eventually pulled me off of him, I'm not sure what I would have done. I'm never usually that violent a person, but something just snapped. The worst thing is, I didn't feel any remorse for it. Maybe I should. Then again, maybe I shouldn't...

"I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner, Matt," Kayla spoke quietly, her voice shattering the silence as her gaze moved to the ground.

I shook my head slowly. "It wasn't your fault," I replied softly, my eyes still hovering over Brianne. I gently unwrapped one of my arms from around her, absently pushing some hair from her face, revealing a light cut down the side of her forehead. I frowned to myself before returning my arm back to around her small frame, my gaze wandering upwards to a light grin across Kayla's face.

"... What?" I asked bluntly, raising an eyebrow.

Kayla shook her head lightly. "You two are cute together, you know that?" She said with a smile in her tone. I looked blankly back down at Brianne, only one thing springing to mind. It made me deny Kayla's comment, despite how I felt about it myself. I wasn't even going to go there.

"Don't pretend you don't know it too," Kayla mumbled stubbornly, my eyes meeting with hers as she folded her arms across her chest.

I shook my head slowly. "Kay, she's only 18," I reasoned lightly. "She's still got so much ahead of her."

"Come off it, Matt. You haven't exactly seen that much more," Kayla retorted, scowling at me lightly. "And Hun, that's four years age difference. There's only three years between me and Padge, you know."

I glanced back up at Kayla, watching her for a moment. That was true, and I had never noticed before. Kayla was, after all, my little sister's friend. The amount of times I forgot that was astounding.

"I hadn't realised," I mumbled simply.

"You know, neither had I," Kayla responded lightly, a smile flickering across her face, confusing me. She seemed to notice and quickly shook it off. "But that's not the point. Come on, Mattie! I saw you outside the venue last night before we went in. You can't tell me that was nothing," she shot at me, causing me to fall silent. I really couldn't say anything to that. If I was thinking like a normal person, then what happened probably should have given me even more of a reason to stay with Brianne last night. I didn't want to think about that right now, but I was a fucking chicken of a man, I knew that much. I wanted to do something about it, but at the same time I couldn't. I'd barely known this girl a month. In a few weeks we wouldn't be here anymore...

"I mean, jeez, honey. You can tell every time you look at her, and talk to her. And what about that death stare you give Jason when he talks about her, huh? Is this all nothing to you-"

"Kayla, will you just leave it?!" I growled harshly down at my friend, my aggressive tone causing Brianne to stir slightly. Kayla instantly pursed her lips and glared at me for snapping at her. I knew that would mean she probably would ignore me for the rest of the day, but what else did she expect me to say? That I wanted something from this? What the hell, Brianne was just someone I cared for. That was it. It wasn't anything more than that because it couldn't be. That was the basic point here, surely. Did Kayla want me to mess Brianne around, because that was all that would happen if anything did happen between us. I wasn't a bad enough person to start something that didn't have a future.

"Fine then, if you're going to be a fucking idiot about this Matt, be that way," Kayla stated, her reasoning tone quickly turning into venom, as she pulled herself to her feet and turned away. "I just fucking hope you know what your doing, hot shot," she snapped finally, before marching out of the room.

I sighed heavily as the room fell silent again. It was slightly uncomfortable to say the least, and I didn't really appreciate being left to battle with my thoughts again. I should have realised this the moment I got myself into it, the moment I helped Brianne get into that venue for that gig that she enjoyed so much. I should have realised it was the wrong thing to do. If we hadn't of met, Brianne wouldn't be in the state she was now. On the other hand, the last few weeks would have been completely different, for the both of us. She would have been alone.

I felt Brianne stir slightly again in my arms, and I loosened my grip on her a little as she rolled onto her back. I instinctively gently wrapped my hand around her waist, pulling her back into me as carefully as possible so that she wouldn't fall off of the small sofa. I smiled faintly to myself as she followed my lead and gentle coaxing, shuffling a little closer to me on her own before her body fell heavy again. I truely hated thinking. Why in my right mind would I want to have left her all alone that night? Why wouldn't I want to protect her? Why would I have to let her go?

I lowered my chin, placing a light kiss on Brianne's shoulder as my eyes watched her intently. I didn't want to look away, because she deserved all my attention, and so much more. She deserved something so much better than what she had, but I had no idea how to give it to her. I would have given anything to work it out, and know how to make sense of this confusion I had been stranded with. Something at the back of my head was telling me to run, although that would prove me to be more of a coward than I already was. It did seem like the easiest option though, but I couldn't let myself think that way. I couldn't think that way...

Just what the hell was I supposed to do?!

+

Brianne's point of view.

I inhaled deeply as light glowed behind my eyelids, beckoning me out of sleep. My body was feeling incredibly comfortable, considering that it was littered with injuries. I guessed that would all change the moment I moved, but I really felt like stretching out as I did whenever I had just has a good nights sleep. I would have to discipline myself and not do it, I was enjoying this painless moment way too much.

"Good morning," purred a soft tone, close to my ear. My eyes fluttered open as the low voice lulled me further away from unconscious state. I can't say I was complaining either, the tone was welcomely soothing. My eyes settled on the ceiling for a moment, before I tilted my head lazily to the side, to be met with the close gaze of Matt. I instantly noted his eyes weren't their usual bold shade of blue, greying slightly and losing their depth. I knew from that he hadn't slept much.

I smiled as best I could, which was instantly returned. "Well, it's afternoon," Matt added, his voice low and just catching my ears. "But, you get the idea."

I couldn't help but grin at him, shaking my head slowly before turning back to the ceiling. After a well thought out moment I moved hands up from my sides to rest on Matt's arm that was draped lazily across my stomach. I kept my empty gaze above me as I started tracing circles across his skin, making a distraction for my mind while keeping me focused on the here and now. I heard Matt chuckle softly as my fingertips barely connected with his skin, making him shudder slightly from the light contact. I smiled faintly, allowing my eyes to close at just how relaxed I felt right now, living in this moment and nowhere else. I didn't want to slip back into the past again. I wanted to stay firmly latched to the present.

"Thanks for staying with me," I commented distantly after a moment, that night at Jays suddenly playing in my head all over again, as much as I tried to keep my thoughts out of the past. I couldn't help but think how happy I was that I hadn't had a nightmare when I was on my own this morning. I was out cold, however, so my mind probably didn't have enough chance to realise I wasn't at home. I was thankful for that; I couldn't deal with another one so soon.

"Anytime," Matt replied softly, as I felt his forehead rest against my shoulder.

"You didn't let them take me to the hospital," I mumbled half to myself, tilting my head lightly to the side. I felt Matt nod against me, before raising his head up. I turned to glance at him, and he smiled softly at me.

"I remembered how freaked out you got the first time I mentioned it," Matt started thoughtfully. "I guessed you wouldn't have appreciated waking up in one."

I smiled back gratefully, realising just how much Matt seemed to pick up about me. He really was kind of like me, in that way. "What about Kay's pestering?" I wondered, curious as to how he convinced her. She could be pretty stubborn.

"I would have known if something was that wrong that you had to get checked out," he replied simply, setting his head back against my shoulder. "I kept coming to check on you myself, and my mum was a nurse for a little while, so I suppose I knew enough about it, you know? At least, I hoped I would..."

I paused as I processed his comment, turning away to stare back into my own distant point. That would explain how he seemed so in control when I cut my hand, then, and also why Kayla would give him some form of her confidence. And he kept checking in on me... He really mustn't of had much sleep since yesterday. Matt never failed to amaze me.

"Wow, I got lucky then," I replied quietly, honestly a little impressed though faking it playfully through my tone. "I landed myself with a friend with medical and bus connections," I added, hiding my huge amount of gratitude with light comments.

I felt Matt's chuckle this time, it vibrating through his body and into mine. "You sure did," he replied quietly in a slight suave tone.

I smiled faintly and rolled my head sideways to look at Matt, to find his eyes closed as he lie snuggled up against my shoulder. "And you make a decent blanket, too," I added softly, as I finally stopped tracing patterns across his arm, instead wrapping my own arms over the top instead.

I saw a genuine grin spread across his lips as his eyes flickered open and moved up to meet with mine. "I'm glad you think so," he whispered back, his eyes appearing to light up for a second before fading back to their dull grey before he closed them again. "Perhaps we should do this more often," Matt added in a cocky tone, a light smirk playing across his lips as he raised an eyebrow. I couldn't help but laugh softly at how he managed to pull off such an arrogant act with his eyes still firmly shut. It must have taken some talent.

"What? Is that a no?!" Matt asked a little shocked as he looked back up at me, before raising his head a little so he was looking down on me instead. "Oh I see how it is, use me and leave me," he sighed, shaking his head before heavily setting it back against my shoulder. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop the giggles that were starting to kill my sore ribs, despite that fact it wasn't even that funny. I suppose my body just really needed a change of scene, and it generally felt so good to do. Our conversation had gone from serious to playful within a minute, and I was truely thankful for it.

After a moment I could feel Matt laughing softly beside me, at the fact I was still going. "You're so weird," he chuckled quietly, only adding to my smile as I bought my hands up to cover my face, laughter still spilling helplessly from my lips. Things were already starting to feel normal again, and it was more than I could have ever asked for right now.