Hand of Blood

I swayed lightly as I walked down the stairs in my house, to the beat of the music flowing from the speakers in the lounge. One good point of having a house all to myself? I could play my Cd's wherever I wanted and at whatever volume. I had forgotten that plus side.

There was a light smile on my lips as I wandered into the full pulse of the music, feeling more positive having woken up in a better mood than usual this morning. The nightmares had finally stopped, and I couldn't have been more thankful for that. I was pretty sure Matt had enough of them on just the first night I slept back in my house after the incident at the club. I must have spent almost two hours on the phone to him, over an hour of it consisting of me just crying or both of us sitting in silence. I felt so bad, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know how else to feel safe again, and escape being stuck in that alley all over again, at least in my mind. It haunted me so much, I couldn't quite believe it. How does something get into your head that badly?

"Little girl, little girl, you should close your eyes..." I sang lightly, sighing as I let the music take me away from my thoughts, before I started cleaning up. I hadn't really tidied any part of the house since that night, which was almost a week ago now. I just hadn't had the energy. Today felt like a completely new day, though, and I would make a difference. The pain throughout my body was gradually fading too, which was making everything that much easier.

I bit my lip for a moment as an ever familiar feeling shocked through my body, just as I finished plumping up the cushions on the sofa, my eyes instantly wandering the room and settling on the kitchen doorway. I turned my attention away from it, avoiding that room at all costs. I didn't even need to look at it to feel starving these days, and going anywhere near it made that worse. The ultimate negative of having the house to myself? I was out of money and officially on rations.

I attempted to sigh out my hunger as I turned around and collapsed backwards onto the sofa, instantly messing up what I had so carefully just straightened out, but not feeling so bothered anymore. I turned my gaze to the ceiling as I laid back, wondering what I could do with my day to distract myself. Music, sleep and kids cartoons had been what had got me through the last few days, and I knew that I'd probably stick to that routine. There was nothing else to do, now.

I frowned to myself as I closed my eyes lightly, resting my head back against the sofa once more. My thoughts stealing me away again, into the more happier memories of the past month. I would do anything if they just didn't have to leave, but at the same time I would do anything to be able to forget them completely. I knew for a fact I would never have such luck with either situation.

+

I shook my head roughly to the side, in some form of protest to the light poking I could feel in my left arm. It was gentle, but very persistent, which seemed to make it that much more annoying. After shifting a few more times, refusing to be dragged out of my dream world, I suddenly froze as my conscious thoughts hit me. Poking?!

I opened my eyes sharply, looking straight forward and meeting the bold green gaze of another, a smile shimmering in their appearance. My jaw dropped instantly.

"Morning, honey!"

I had to pause to collect my thoughts for a moment before I could reply. "W-what? Kayla?" I asked in suprise, quickly looking around to find myself still on the sofa from earlier, except the room was shrouded in the low afternoon light, and the CD had finished playing. Kayla grinned down on me and nodded, looking somewhat triumphant as she stood back up tall with her hands on her hips. I was completely lost. What was Kayla doing in my house?

"Sorry, you looked so peaceful but I was kind of getting lonely," Kayla mumbled, pursing her lips as she looked thoughtful for a moment. I blinked, still stunned and in a slight state of disbelief.

"What...? I... Okay," I stated dumbly, rubbing my face as I tried to wake myself up a bit more, not remembering falling asleep in the first place. "But how... ?" I started again, looking back up at Kayla, still confused in my half-awakened state.

She smiled down on me broadly. "Spare key, honey," she cooed, winking at me. "I thought I'd let myself in since you didn't answer."

"R-right," I mumbled, watching as she moved to the side and heavily fell back onto the sofa beside me. She grabbed a cushion from behind her, hugging it across her stomach as she beamed at me. I finally found the strength to return her smile, as my brain got back up to speed. Kayla had basically just forced herself into my home. She'd sure make one hell of a thief.

"What are you doing here?" I asked after a moment, knitting my eyebrows together as Kayla chuckled. She quickly leaned forward to the coffee table in the middle of the room, taking a white plastic bag from its surface before sitting back again. She then turned it upside down, emptying the entire contents of the bag onto the sofa between us.

"I wasn't sure what you were in to..." She explained sheepishly, as I looked down in awe on the pile of DVDs and bag of popcorn beside me. I glanced back up at Kayla to see her still smiling proudly back at me. She had come over just to watch a movie with me? The random acts of this girl never failed to amaze me.

"You seem suprised?" Kayla asked, her smile fading slightly. "Oh Hun, I can leave if you want, if you're busy or something," she added quickly, realisation spreading across her face. I couldn't help but smile lightly at her sudden turn of mood.

"No, it's fine, I'm not busy," I said lightly, causing Kayla to instantly smile warmly at me. "I just didn't understand why you just came over, that's all."

"'Cause I wanted to spend time with you, of course!" She replied with a light chuckle. "I've missed my little Bri. You haven't been over in so long!" She added. I smiled lightly to myself at her words, feeling kind of grateful for the fact she had missed me. I wondered if it was the same for the rest of the guys.

"Anyway, lets get this popcorn cooked and we'll get to a girly afternoon in! 'Kay, Hun?" She cooed, suddenly standing up and grabbing the popcorn bag as she did so. I watched powerlessly as she strode away from me and towards the kitchen, leaving me with her comment. So this was a girly afternoon in, huh? I couldn't say I'd ever had one before, but it sounded... Interesting. Films, popcorn and a future thief. I paused for a second with my thoughts, and after the ultimate 'did that just happen' moment ran through my mind, I quickly pulled myself to my feet and followed after Kayla.

"Bri, honey," Kayla started thoughtfully as I walked into the small room, leaning against the opposite worktop to the one Kayla was currently standing beside. She was tapping instructions into the microwave as she stood with her back to me, waiting until she pressed start before she fully gave me her attention.

"Are you aware your mobile was in the microwave?" She finally finished. My eyes grew wide as Kayla turned to look at me, a puzzled expression on her face as she held my phone loosely in one hand, directed at me. It wasn't technically mine, as that had been left far behind in that alley that could now only be reached in my dreams. It was in fact a spare one the guys had lying around the house and donated to me.

In honest asnwer to Kayla's question, I was perfectly aware it was in there. I was the one who had put it there after all. A few days ago I came to the decision that I would refuse to use it anymore, considering the only people who could contact me through it would be the guys. It had been part of my plan to separate myself a little more from them. I could hardly tell her that, though, could I?

"And are you aware you have 17 unread texts?" Kayla added thoughtfully, stealing my attention to see she was now looking down at the screen with a shocked expression. It was also true that I had heard the ring tone go off a couple of times, but I thought if I ignored them, they would stop. Apparently not.

I sighed as I reached forward to take my phone from Kayla's grasp, but she simply and very smoothly side stepped out of my way, not raising her gaze from the small object in her hand. I frowned slightly and tried again, only for her to carefully maneuver out of my way once more.

"Kay?" I asked confused, before I saw an innocent smile grace her lips. Kayla glanced up at me and winked before turning back to my phone once more, starting to tap thought the keys. I furrowed my eyebrows as I instantly realised what she was doing.

I took a couple of steps forward, bringing myself across the room and closer Kayla, as I heard her giggle playfully to herself. "Kayla!" I exclaimed as she once again avoided my attempt to retrieve my phone. I scowled at her as we started a small tussle, her always being capable of moving the phone out of my way just in time, or even going so far as to hold it above my head and out of reach. Each time I missed, it furthered my need to have it back, as Kayla tried to work her way through my phone to my inbox simultaneously. For some reason it was becoming more irritating to me for her to look through something that I was yet to see.

After a few minutes of my failed attempts to get my phone, Kayla slipped past me and bounced out of the room, causing me to stumble after her as she walked into the lounge. I watched as she jumped up onto the sofa, now standing far taller than me, as she held the phone in both hands and concentrated on working her way through it, her teeth clamped onto her lip ring.

"Ah-ha!" She cried triumphantly after a moment, a sly grin spreading across her face.

"Kayla, no!" I whined as I watched her, helpless to stop her as she let her self fall down to a seating position on the sofa. I made my way to her side, no longer seeing a point to the fight as I was so obviously defeated. Besides, it wasn't like I had anything to hide. After a moment I saw Kayla's expression completely clear, making it instantly unreadable to me. I frowned as I watched her scrolling through my phone, before a smile creeped on her face.

"That's... Wow," she said with a light chuckle, honestly sounding shocked.

"What?" I asked dully, falling down onto the sofa beside her and watching as she seemed to devour every thing on the small screen before her. I tilted my head as I could feel myself growing more curious at Kayla's strange reaction, before she finally looked back at me with a warm smile.

"Matt's such a sweet heart," she said lightly, almost to herself, as she held my phone out to me. I hesitated for a moment before taking it from her, just as Kayla got up and wandered back into the kitchen silently, leaving me alone with the small device. I watched after her for a moment before glancing back down at my mobile, starting to browse my messages curiously.

My eyes grew wide at what I found, and to be honest, I didn't know what to think or feel. Every single one of them was from Matt. I bit my lip as I saw how most of them were just so casual, too. They weren't messages screaming at me for answers to why I wasn't replying, but each one seemed like it was sent without the intention of getting a response. They were like little updates on what was going on in Matt's world. In Matt's head.

I clicked up to the most recent one which had been sent this morning, capturing my attention as I read it. "Morning Brianne. Hope the bad dreams have stopped, you haven't been calling, so I'm assuming they have. If they haven't... Then give me a call if you feel like it. I had the weirdest dream last night... Well, I suppose it wasn't a dream, and it wasn't just last night. Anyway, I was thinking of phoning you but thought you probably wouldn't enjoy listening to me freaking out... And now I just sound weird. Sorry. I'm a better listener than a talker. See you soon."

I paused as I locked my phone and slid it into my pocket thoughtfully. He'd had his own nightmares to deal with, rather than just mine. His own problems, or just mine on his own scale? It wasn't just last night. I had been ignoring the texts all this time, when they might not have all been in my defence. They were for Matt's own peace of mind. Is that why I suddenly felt terrible?

"Popcorn's ready!" Kayla cooed from the kitchen, causing me to slowly glance up and across to the small room. I sighed to myself before pulling myself to my feet and wandering into the room, to see Kayla looking through the cupboards.

"Hun, where's all the food?" She asked with a light chuckle, glancing back at me as I entered the room. I looked up at her blankly, unable to come up with some bright come back. I felt way too guilty right now.

"The bowls are there," I replied lightly, pointing to a self above Kayla's head. She looked at me, puzzled to how I hadn't actually answered her question. I turned my attention to the ground as I heard Kayla continue going through cupboards, obviously not dropping her original point.

"Seriously, honey, there's like nothing here," Kayla added, finally getting a bowl from the cupboard I pointed out earlier, and pouring the still hot popcorn into the bowl before turning back to me. I looked up at her and smiled lightly in return. It was incredibly fake.

"There's some bread and stuff," I replied with a shrug, turning back to the living room. I felt Kayla lightly take hold of my arm and hold me back, making me turn to look at her.

"Bri, honey, are you okay here?" She asked seriously, her eyes meeting with mine as I instantly knew what she was actually asking me. She was asking if it was really okay. First the nightmares I'm sure she had read in the texts if she hadn't already heard about back home, and now the lack of food. Whatever next, was probably what was running through her head.

I nodded lightly, placing a smile on my lips again. "Of course I'm okay, I've only got a week anyway," I responded with another shrug before turning back to the living room. This time I wandered into it freely, and after a moment Kayla followed suit.

I sat down on the sofa, folding my legs underneath me as Kayla joined me, resting the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. Kayla shifted her position on the cushions, turning to face me as she spread the DVD cases out on the material between us.

"So," she started brightly, once again switching from serious to happy in a split second. "We've got comedy, romance, horror, pure chick flick and sci-fi type stuff," she announced proudly, looking back up at me.

"Are these all yours?" I asked curiously, hoping she would say yes. If these has all been rented out, Kayla would have spent a lot on getting them. There were seriously over half a dozen cases in front of us.

"Most of them," she said simply. "A couple I borrowed from the guys," she said, winking at me to tell me she had no intention of returning them. "I think this one is Matt's. He's all into that weird supernatural type stuff," she explained with a blank expression as she examined one case, telling me she obviously wasn't impressed with his preferences. I chuckled as I started looking through the different sleeves myself, looking for one that caught my attention. I seriously watched any type of film, so genre wasn't an issue.

I paused suddenly as I felt vibrations spread through my leg, almost making me drop the DVD case in my hand in suprise. Kayla glanced up at me as she heard it, our gaze connecting before a knowing smile spread on her face. I bit my lip and quickly fumbled into my pocket, retrieving my phone and quickly scrolling through it.

I already knew who it was from, but my heart still lept in my throat as Matt's name came up on the screen. Somehow the thought that he was sitting there right this second, taking up his time to send me a message, made me smile to myself. I opened the message quickly, unable to hide my small chuckle at his words. "Hey Brianne. Wow, I think I've text you a lot. I should probably stop because it must be getting odd for you. Sorry? Well, Padge is running riot because he thinks Kayla has another man. She's just disappeared. It's quite funny to watch. Oh, and Jay's announced he's going vegetarian. It will probably last until breakfast. Well, maybe I'll see you soon. Bye, Bri."

"Matt?" Kayla asked with a wide smile as I nodded in response. I held the phone out to her for her to read, before she stated laughing. "That man sometimes! I really don't know what goes through his head," she chuckled, shaking her head as I thought about whether to reply or not. Maybe I should, just to let him know I don't think he's being like a stalker. He did seem pretty concerned.

I paused for a moment as I started with my response. I settled on telling him that I didn't mind all his texts, and also informing him that Kayla was in fact with me. Whether he chose to tell Padge that, was completely his choice, of course. I smiled lightly to myself as I set my phone down beside me and started going back through the films.

"How about this one?" I asked, picking up Underworld from the collection and holding it in Kayla's direction. She instantly grinned as she took the case from my grasp and looked over it.

"One of Matt's it is, then," she said with a chuckle, glancing up at me as my expression fell blank in suprise. She smiled at me as shook her head lightly and stood up from the sofa, making her way over to my TV. I watched her for a moment before my phone vibrating across the cushion beside me stole my attention. I picked it up as I could feel Kayla watching me from the corner of her eye, as she busied herself with the DVD player.

"Kayla went to yours and didn't tell any of us?! She steals all the fun." I couldn't help but grin at the little angry face he had typed at the end of the text, before Kayla wandered back over to the sofa and sat down heavily beside me, sighing to herself.

"Bri, honey?" She asked earnestly, causing me to glance up at her curiously. "Tell me how it's possible that you and Mattie aren't together, please," she sighed, turning her attention solidly to the TV as it flashed to life. I watched her curiously for a moment, before slowly turning my own attention back to the television screen, frowning to myself lightly.

That question didn't need an answer. It was obvious enough. Wasn't it?