Hand of Blood

"Moose, what the hell did you do with the jager?" Jay shouted out from the kitchen, making my attention raise from guitar magazine in my lap that I had picked up, and onto the man in question. Moose glanced up at me from his drum kit, stopping the light beat he had been playing as background noise and frowning to himself. I smiled lightly at him before returning to the Metallica article I had been reading, and the light beat started up again in the empty room. Well, I suppose there was me, the words of James Hetfield, Moose and a drum kit, but that didn't count for much.

"I don't fucking know. Ask Padge," Moose finally shouted back, increasing the speed and volume of his playing in what I guessed was an attempt to block out any of Jay's further comments. I laughed to myself softly as I glanced up at him for a moment, before turning back once more to the magazine. I could just about hear Jay's muffled response over the drum kit, before his head appeared in the room, poking around the doorway. He scowled over at Moose as he noticed what he was doing.

"Padge! Where is the jagermeister?!" Jay suddenly bellowed into the room, his voice even managing to dull out the drum beats. My eyes widened at him in amazement, not doubting that his question would be heard throughout the house, and to where ever it was that Padge was currently hanging around. Moose seemed completely unaffected, however, and continued drumming in his own world.

"Ask Matt!" I heard muffled, though still pretty clear, from above my head, almost making me jump as I turned my shocked gaze upwards to the ceiling. These guys sure knew how to communicate in this house.

"I don't want to fucking ask..." Jay muttered to himself, sighing before taking a deep breath. My gaze turned back to him, and even though I knew what was coming next, I still wasn't quite prepared.

"Matt! Where did you put the jager?!" Jay screeched loudly, even making Moose drop his drumsticks in suprise. My jaw hung open as I watched Jay, speechless as to how it is possible for someone to get their voice that loud. For some reason, I remembered the first time I had met him, and how he mentioned something about screaming better than Matt. Right now, I could see how he could keep that title.

I glanced around as I heard the door leading into the hallway open behind me. "Jesus, Jay, we haven't bought any yet. Go to the fucking store or something," Matt growled as he wandered into the room, slamming the door behind him as he scowled over at his band mate. As he caught my gaze, he quickly smiled none the less and sent me a goofy wave.

"Mattie! Where's the jager?!" Kayla cooed as she suddenly exploded into the room behind Matt. In a second, she had jumped onto his back, making him stumble forward as her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. I laughed softly and turned back to my magazine again as Matt started awkwardly walking through the room, trying to shake Kayla off.

"Matt, where's the jagermeister?" I heard Padge ask calmly, making me look up to him also wandering into the room. "Jay wants to know... And Kay what are you doing?" He added with a sigh, as Matt stumbled forward and landed with his face flat on the floor, taking Kayla with him. Kayla pushed herself up again, sitting on Matt's back and looking down on him with a wide grin.

"Mattie, don't hide it now," she cooed again, as she ruffled his hair. Matt tried to fight his way up, but apparently wasn't strong enough to get Kayla off of him after struggling to keep his balance in the first place. After fighting for a few seconds, he sighed loudly, admitting defeat and sprawling out on the floor. I laughed softly at yet another of the guys random scenes that played out before me.

"Why do you need jager anyway?" I asked lightly, capturing everyone's attention. "It's like... Four in the afternoon."

"For later, of course, Honey," Kayla stated, smiling at me proudly. I tilted my head and looked at her blankly, and she looked back at me in shock. A moment later she harshly slapped the back of Matt's head, calling him to groan out in pain.

"Kay, what the hell?" He exclaimed, starting to try and shove Kayla off of his back once more as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Matt are you that useless?" She sighed in response, before lazily getting up and stepping over Matt. He instantly sat back up on his knees and scowled over at Kayla, who was moving over to the sofa on the opposite wall where Padge was already sitting. He then quickly pulled himself to his feet, adjusting his hair that Kayla had previously messed up, and heavily falling down on the sofa beside me.

"We all know he is, anyway," Jay stated with a grin as he sauntered fully into the room, setting himself down on the sofa beside the one me and Matt were on. Matt, apparently being target practise for the afternoon, folded his arms across his chest and glared over at Jay stubbornly. I looked around the group, still looking for my explanation. Apparently, the one who was usually in his own world was the only one to catch on.

"We're throwing a party, Bri," Moose called over from his drum kit, where he had started playing a light beat again. I smiled at him in thanks before turning back to everyone else.

"Party?" I asked, puzzled.

"Uh huh," Matt stated, making me look over to him. "We're going on tour soon, after all, so naturally we need a leaving party."

I nodded slowly and smiled as it made more sense now, though there was still something that didn't fit. "But you're not leaving just yet, right?" I asked, a hint of panic slowly sinking in. They weren't leaving like, tomorrow, were they? I was sure they weren't. That would be way too soon to what I had heard before, but Matt had said 'leaving' party...

"No, but it works better this way," Jay offered. "Because your parents are home on Monday, and we don't want you to have a killer hang over for them to be welcomed with," he explained, winking at me.

"So that's why you were so persistent for me to come over today?" I asked, turning back to Matt as it made perfect sense now; they wanted me here for the party. "Well, that sounds cool. Who else is coming?"

I noticed an odd silence descend on the room as I finished my sentence, and I glanced around at everyone in confusion. They were all simply looking back at me with warm smiles on their lips. I raised an eyebrow as I timidly glanced back to Matt, who also seemed to suddenly be a little nervous. What had I said wrong?

"Well, you're the only person we're really saying goodbye to," Matt finally said quietly, my heart stopping for a split second as he did so. "You're the only person we want so say goodbye to," he added, as his nervous gaze fell away from me. I bit my lip as I felt a light blush creep onto my cheeks, before I turned to look at little dumbfounded at the floor. I couldn't quite believe what he was trying to say, and that I meant that much to these guys. For me to be recognised like that by them was quite surreal, despite all the texts I had received from every one of them over the past week at my absence. Even Moose made the effort to contact me while we were apart. I suppose it just never really clicked with me.

"Thanks, you guys," I said honestly, suddenly feeling a little choked up. I glanced up to see every face at the room beaming at me in happiness.

"You're welcome!" Jay chirped, causing four pairs of eyes to turn and glare at him.

"Wasn't your idea," Moose hissed at him simply, as he flung a drum stick in Jay's direction, it catching them on the back of the head. Jay spun round and glared across at the drummer, before turning back and folding his arms stubbornly. I chuckled lightly to myself at Jay's constant need to make a good impression. It just didn't work with these guys.

"So, you up for it?" Kayla asked brightly, catching my attention.

I smiled broadly at her and nodded. "Of course! Bring on the alcohol," I replied with a grin, making Padge nod at me approvingly.

"Good stuff, now go buy the jager, Jay," Padge said, throwing a cocky grin in Jay's direction. Jay opened his mouth to reply, but quickly closed it again lacking a decent come back. He then, much to my suprise, pulled himself to his feet and made his way across to room towards the hall, apparently following his orders for once. I chuckled as Moose once again started a drum beat in the background, this time only playing with one hand, while Padge and Kayla got engrossed in their own conversation.

I turned my attention to Matt and smiled at him lightly. "It was your idea, wasn't it?" I asked, somewhat quietly. Matt grinned sheepishly and nodded slowly.

"Jay wanted to go to a club. I thought that would be a bad idea," he explained briefly, making me smile at his consideration. "I thought a party here would be more appropriate, considering you were the only person we were inviting."

"Your idea, again?" I asked timidly, tilting my head.

Matt sighed and glanced across the room at the couple on the opposite sofa. "Kay's and mine, though she'd probably say I should take all the credit," he said, with a smile small. "... You know, she doesn't have a whole lot of female friends. She kind of lost all of them to the band," he explained after a moment, looking a little guilty. I frowned as I looked at Kayla laughing lightly as her and Padge engaged themselves in their own little world.

"Like your sister?" I asked, glancing back at Matt.

He paused for a moment as he watched Kayla and Padge, before nodding and smiled sadly. "Yeah, I mean they're not enemies anymore, but they've never been the same," he murmured, turning back at me. "I feel like it's my fault for that, sometimes."

"You shouldn't, it's only normal you'll grow apart from people with different interests," I said with a shrug. Matt looked at me curiously for a moment, before a smile flickered across his lips.

"Kayla told you a lot, didn't she?" He asked bluntly, making me return his smile lightly.

"A bit," I replied simply, with another shrug. Matt chuckled and leaned forward on the sofa as if he was about to get up, and then looked back on me. I raised an eyebrow at him as he seemed to be watching me carefully again.

"You know, despite what she appears to be like, Kay's really not one to talk," he said softly, before standing up. I watched him, puzzled as to what he meant exactly by that, as he looked back at me once more. "I'll go check what drink we have," Matt added, quickly changing the subject as he turned to head to the kitchen.

"Matt," I called after him softly, before my mouth could be controlled. I paused at my action, as Matt's gaze turned back to mine. Suddenly I felt like I didn't want him to walk away from me without explaining himself, but it seemed to all fit into place in that precise moment. I knew he was about to turn away again, and that there wasn't a single thing I could do to change that. I couldn't change the fact he wouldn't tell me something he was hiding about Kayla, the same way I couldn't change the fact all the guys were walking away from me, no matter how well I had connected with them. No matter how much they understood me, or how much I had learnt about them, or how much there was still to find out. This was it, now.

I glanced away from Matt's icy gaze and to the floor, telling him silently that I didn't have anything to say. After a moment, I heard him walking away from me and across the room, just as I had predicted. I think it was then I fully realised that the inevitable was always going to happen. All I had left was to make the most of tonight.

+

I felt a poke in my stomach, and slowly opened my eyes. I glanced down my body, that was currently sprawled out in the middle of the music room floor, to see Moose crouched beside me and looking back thoughtfully.

"You found my cider, didn't you?" He asked with a knowing grin. I chuckled as I let my head fall back against the cool floor again, my eyes wandering down to the empty glass in my right hand. I could have sworn it was full about 10 minutes ago.

"Maybe," I replied sweetly, as I heard Moose laugh softly and poke my stomach again. "Hey, quit it!" I scolded, glancing back at him and glaring.

He grinned in response. "Here I was told you were no light weight," he sighed dully as he stood back up to his full height. I pursed my lips and frowned up at him, not taking kindly to his teasing. Moose rested his hands on his waist as he looked back down on me, waiting for a reply.

"Okay, so maybe cider gets to me," I admitted, a giggle escaping my lips as I did so, unable to keep up my fake annoyed state. Moose rolled his eyes with a light smile still on his face, before he wandered away, leaving me to stay lying in the middle of the floor where I had been for the past half an hour. It wasn't that I was drunk and couldn't get up, it was just that I had nothing better to do. It had already gone 11pm, and everyone was at least tipsy, myself included, although as Moose had kindly pointed out it wouldn't be this way if I hadn't found 'his' cider stashed in the kitchen cupboards.

I sighed as I sat up, pursing my lips as I looked around the room. I needed something to do, to keep my energetic brain occupied. After a moment, my head snapped round as a familiar intro started blasting through the room from the speakers just behind me. My eyes rested on Padge grinning proudly beside the stereo, as Heart Shaped Glasses started playing.

"Padge! I never knew you liked Manson," I called over, laughing at him lightly. It was strange that I seemed to be hearing the same music a lot this week, this being the same album I was listening to the day Kayla came over.

"I don't," he replied stubbornly, glaring at me lightly. "The girl loves it, though," he explained, nodding his head over to the opposite side of the room near the drum kit. I looked over to see Kayla swaying to herself, very intoxicated, and already singing along to the words playing from the stereo. I laughed lightly as she paused for a moment and looked over at Padge, before running over to him.

"Padge, honey, I love you!" She cried, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and starting to place kisses on his face. I cringed a little and looked away from them, hiding my face in my hands and not wanting to know where they were going to end up.

"Hey, hey, hey! No fucking in the music room!" I heard Matt shout over to them after a moment, making me raise my head and peer through the small gaps in my fingers to see him. He was sternly looking over at the couple, as he wandered in from the kitchen with a bottle of jagermeister hanging loosely in his hand. I then heard shuffling around and the door behind me opening and closing, making me assume Kayla and Padge had made their last public appearance for the evening.

I sighed a little in relief, my hands still covering my face as I watched the world through the gaps. Both Moose and Jay were talking loudly as they moved towards the kitchen door, before disappearing from sight, probably on the hunt for more alcohol. Matt was now looking down on me with a amused smile on his face, just before he started walking over to me. I wasn't sure if he was aware that I could see him, but he soon knelt down in front of me, tilting his head as he watched me curiously. I spread my fingers a little wider so he could see through them to my eyes, and he grinned at me.

"Here," he stated gently, directing his half empty jager bottle towards me. I lowered my hands to rest in my lap and looked at the bottle thoughtfully, which Matt reacted to by moving it up to my face a little more. I simply raised an eyebrow at it and Matt chuckled lightly.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr Tuck?" I asked softly, taking the bottle in one hand and moving it closer to my lips. It suprised me when Matt didn't let go of the bottle, maneuvering it along with me carefully. I paused for a second as my gaze stayed fixed with his, before slowly taking a swig, not even reacting as the liquid burned down my throat. Matt seemed to grin at me almost proudly as I lowered it again and let go, his eyes flickering over my face and watching my every reaction intently, before taking his own large gulp of alcohol from the bottle.

"Not at all," he replied silkily, setting the bottle down on the floor before pulling himself back up to his feet. "Just making the world a little smoother," he added with a sigh. I watched him with a growing curiosity as he held out his free hand to me, which I quickly took, allowing him to effortlessly get me up from off the ground. I tilted my head as Matt didn't release my hand, but instead carried on watching me. He honestly became even more of an enigma once he had alcohol in his system

"And now we dance," he said smartly, causing me to helplessly grin at his odd and random statement.

"Dance?" I repeated, as Matt's hand finally dropped my own, instead confidently finding their way onto my hips, which I knew was the intoxicated side of him acting. I watched him carefully for a moment, before slowly raising my hands to rest on his shoulders as the chorus of the song started up again.

"That's what I said," he whispered with a smile, pulling me closer to him. I bit my lip as he leaned forward and bowed his head above my shoulder, the closeness of us now forcing my arms to move up and wrap around his neck. I knew I probably should have been bothered by his strange act, especially considering how cheesy it seemed to be, but in my current state I really wasn't. I even found a light smile gracing my lips as I allowed myself to mould into Matt, lightly swaying together to the music's regular beat.

We continued like that for a while, slowly moving closer together as the music continued to consume us. I leaned my head to the side, resting against Matt's, as I felt him start to breath lyrics against my skin, sending shivers through me as each one cascaded over me. In the back of my mind, I knew each word was tainted with jagermeister, but I wasn't about to get me down. After all, every movement I made was much the same.

I sighed lightly as allowed my fingers to wrap themselves gently in Matt's hair, making his breath catch in his throat for a moment before his hands fell slightly to rest on my outer thighs. His fingers were lightly dancing on my skin, softly creating circles through my jeans as he continued to hold me as close to him as possible. I couldn't help but respond to his actions, working my fingers carefully through his hair and down his neck, my eyes softly closing as I soaked in every touch.

"Brianne," he slowly sighed into my ear, as I felt him pulling me tighter against him. My heart was pounding in my chest as my teeth clamped down on my lip, goosebumps sparking up across my skin in response. It felt so similar to that night outside the club, except this time it felt more real, though still strangely just as fake. That was to get us through the club doors, and this was to get us through the night. Through that inevitable goodbye. Through intoxication.

My suddenly eyes shot open as I heard the door from the kitchen being pushed heavily open. I instantly felt Matt tense beside me as our movements came to a halt, the sound of laughter filling the room and breaking through the music that we had lost ourselves in. Matt slowly moved away from me, my hands gradually falling away to rest lightly on his shoulders as his rose back up to rest on my waist with the space we were creating between us. His gaze found mine, as unreadable as ever, making me frown lightly as his body heat left mine completely. His eyes seemed to be searching mine for something, but for the life of me I wasn't sure what. He was always searching. If only he'd tell me what for.