Hand of Blood

The next day flew by so fast I thought I had missed it. By the time I had woken up after mine and Matt's talk, it was well into the afternoon, which brought my big farewell to the guys only hours away. I had spent those remaining hours soaking in their company and exchanging jokes from our antics other the past month, making my day perfect in itself. I have to admit, though, waking up beside Matt wasn't exactly the worst thing in the world either. It felt a little odd, considering we weren't anything, but I've never had a friend quite like him at least. I hadn't had friends like any of the guys.

I heard the door slowly creak open and close again, into the quiet room I had currently secluded myself in, in my own childish ways. Five minutes; I had been counting. That was all that was left now. I felt the bed dip slightly as someone sat down behind me, my gaze watching the window on the wall opposite me. A hand resting tentatively on my waist told me who it was before the voice did.

"You okay?" Matt asked softly, his tone sounding more like a statement than a question. I nodded slowly as I turned onto my back, glancing up at him silently while his hand now rested on my stomach. I watched him sigh to himself, frowning lightly as he looked down on me.

"How did I know I'd find you in here?" He mused, making me smile to myself.

"Your bed's comfy," I replied softly with a shrug, pulling the sheets up on either side of me to make a point. Matt chuckled to himself as I snuggled down into the navy material, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Of course it is," he responded lightly, though I could feel his playful comments being held at bay on his tongue. "C'mon, time to go," he mumbled instead, reaching across me to place his hand on my side and tug me towards him. I whined childishly and pursed my lips, trying to wiggle and roll away. Matt soft laugh surrounded me as he gently fought with me, causing my own playful giggle to escape my lips. Never in a million years could I have pictured this scene in my head. My guards were so far down at the moment that I knew I should probably have been wary, but on the contrary, I had never felt so safe. I had never felt so happy.

I had successfully rolled back onto my side, dragging Matt with me as he fell forwards across the bed, rather than sitting up as he done before. I heard him groan softly at the fact I had rolled into his hand that had been trying to drag me towards him, probably hurting him in the process. He shuffled forward behind me, pulling himself up onto his knees as he towered over me, dragging his arm out from under me and withdrawing it quickly.

"Is it in your plans to destroy my fret hand?" Matt exclaimed, a hint of laughter in his tone. I smiled as I turned my head to the side to look up at him, finding his eyebrow raised as he looked down at me accusingly. I turned my head back to rest against the pillow, hugging my legs up and my arms into my chest as I regained my sleeping fetus position, eyes closed gently. I heard Matt sigh heavily as he scooted next to me again.

"Come on, the guys are waiting," he whined, making a smile cross my face as it sounded like he was convincing himself more than me not to stay here. "Don't make me go all creepy on you," he added warningly, making my eyes open as they watched the wall opposite me curiously.

"Creepy?" I questioned, my eyebrows knitting together, not having the slightest clue what he meant.

Matt laughed softly as I felt his 'fret' hand rest carefully back onto my side, probably concerned for it's safety. "Well, creepy, arts of seduction, you work it out," he said indifferently, my eyes instantly widened. "And that wouldn't be very good for either of us, don't you think?" He added quietly, his voice suddenly taking a much softer tone. Instantly I was torn between my stubborn side not wanting to leave, and the very possible chance of Matt carrying out his threat, what ever it was that it involved. I suppose curiosity took the better of me, doing nothing other than closing my eyes again as Matt waited for my response. He didn't get one.

I felt Matt's body heat sink into my back as he slowly shifted closer to me, still waiting to see if I would get up and leave. I had no intention to before hand, and I certainly didn't now. Somehow the prospect of Matt using his 'arts of seduction' didn't even seem to phase me, and even though he said it wouldn't be good for us, something in me didn't care. A month ago I would have run a mile the moment such a comment was spoken to me. I really had changed so much.

His hand slowly glided down my side, hovering over my hip as Matt moved up behind me, lining his body up with mine. I bit my lip as his fingertips danced down my thigh, brushing the bare skin below my shorts before before running back up to my side.

"Brianne," he cooed softly into my ear, a playful smile shining through his tone. I smiled to myself and tried my best not to react as he buried his face into the crook of my neck, lightly running his nose across the skin while his breath tumbled down my back. I knew he wasn't being serious in the slightest, he was still just toying with me in the hope I would surrender before he actually done something that wouldn't be good for us.

I felt him chuckle softly after a moment, realising I wasn't going to budge. "You're an awkward one," he mumbled lightly to himself, making my smile grow as he leaned down again. I could feel him purposely keeping me in suspense as he hovered beside me, his hand slowly skimming down across my stomach. He really did know how to tease.

"Guess I'll have to try harder," he suddenly breathed huskily into my ear, his lips brushing my skin. My eyes instantly fluttered closed at his tone, along with causing those butterflies to flare in me. I felt his smile as he slowly maneuvered his face down my neck again, this time letting his breath dance across my skin and not allowing himself to make contact. He knew he was getting to me, my skin suddenly craving his touch that he was denying. I shivered as I felt him pause and slowly breath me in, something in my head clicking in that very second. I knew it all this time, but it finally had an effect on me in that one simple act. He actually, honestly wanted me. The thought amazed me to no ends. I had never felt that before.

My breath hitched in my throat as calloused fingers ran softly across my stomach, having snaked underneath my shirt. Almost simultaneously, feather light kisses began trailing down the sensitive skin of my neck, forcing goosebumps to spread down my back. The fire in my stomach was quickly burning away the usual nervous butterflies, replacing my sensible thoughts with those where only this moment existed and mattered. Matt's hand continued to trace patterns across my stomach, trailing from my belt buckle and up towards my ribs, never going any higher. Never going too far for us. But yet he still wasn't getting a reaction from me. I didn't want to give in.

Just like before, he started taking a new approach in result of my stubbornness, determined for me to break first. His light kisses started becoming just slightly rougher, sucking lightly on the skin as he trailed down to my collar bone. I had to press my teeth down on my bottom lip to suppress the moan I could feel building in my throat, as he bit down softly, barely catching the skin. I felt him pause to glance at me as he apparently noticed my restraint, returning to placing his light kisses before biting down a little harder. No matter how much I tried to stop it, I still heard the light moan that slipped past my lips, noticeably causing Matt to shudder beside me. After it seemed to pass, his hand flattened and pressed against my stomach, confusing me for a moment before I realised what he was doing. He was tracing my breathing pattern, and to say it had slightly increased would be an understatement.

A few more light kisses were pressed onto my skin before Matt's whole body suddenly shifted away, catching me off guard. My eyes widened as I felt myself fall backwards to rest on my back, not realising I had been pressing my body against Matt's the whole time. I blinked a couple of times, trying to clear my clouded mind before my gaze met with Matt's. He was sat on his knees beside me, his expression blank but his eyes burning with want and a hint of sadness, though I could tell he was trying to hide both.

"... You weren't planning on losing, were you?" He asked softly after a moment, a little sorrow in his tone and his gaze falling away from mine. I continued to watch him as guilt flooded through me. Was I really that bad a person? Was I really ready to lead him on like that?

I frowned as I tilted my head away from him, my eyes settling on the window. "No," I mumbled lightly, as I felt tears sting my eyes before I could stop them. All for a few extra minutes in this house. All for a little more time with the people who meant more to me than myself. I'd lose my dignity, for that.

I could feel Matt's eyes burning into me as he still towered over me, my gaze shamefully unable to return his. I heard him sigh softly, before I felt him slowly lower himself down onto the sheets beside me. He hung an arm across my stomach as he laid down on his front gently resting his chin on my shoulder. And I was wrapped up in his embrace. And I was safe again.

"I'm so sorry, Brianne," Matt whispered softly and earnestly. I had lost count of the amount of times those words had slipped past his lips, but it still sparked curiosity in me every time. I slowly turned my head to face him, those crystal eyes instantly locking with mine almost desperately, softening as they caught my shimmering tears. His hand rose from my stomach to gently push the hair from my face, stopping it from sticking to the salty water on my cheeks.

"I just... This doesn't make sense," I mumbled weakly, deciding the only thing that would fit was the truth. Nothing did make sense. I couldn't grasp why I was so attached to these people. Why they had to leave me alone again. Why I cared so much. All I did know was it was enough to break me down inside, and enough to make pathetic sobs fall from my lips.

I heard Matt breath deeply, his expression blurred behind my tears. "C'mon, it's okay," he whispered softly as he started to shift beside me, the bed moving under his weight. I wiped my eyes roughly and glanced over at Matt curiously, my attempts to stop my cries completely in vain. He had rolled onto his back, and was now lightly directing me towards him. I followed obediently, strong arms wrapping around me as I was pulled gently down onto his chest. I buried my face into Matt's shirt as I clutched onto his body, mentally scolding myself for how weak I was. Another thing that I couldn't remember happening. I never used to cry in front of people.

"Hey, it's not like were never coming back," Matt started softly, breathing words into my hair. "And we'll come visit. It's only a few months... You'll barely notice that we're gone," he added, his words slowly becoming inaudible as he continued on. I shook my head slowly, something in me not wanting to listen at all. I didn't care that they'd be back. It was selfish, yes, but I could barely understand myself at the moment as it was.

"Er, Mattie? Did you-"

Kayla's voice cut off suddenly, Matt's head raising to glance over at the door where she had apparently just burst in. I bit down on my lip and swallowed back my tears, hoping it wasn't too obvious I was crying. I was kidding myself.

"Oh, damn. Sorry," she mumbled quickly, followed by the door hastily closing again. I pushed myself up from Matt, glancing up into his face that was watching me with interest.

"I think people are starting to wonder where you are," he said quietly, making me smile weakly at him. He returned it warmly, pushing the fringe from my eyes. I removed my arm from wrapped around him, so I could wipe the remaining tears from my eyes, before resting my hand back down on his chest. Matt tilted his head as he watched me for a moment. He then quickly leaned forward and pressed a single light kiss to my lips before resting back on the pillows. Just how casual it seemed was enough to make my smile grow, a small chuckle falling past my lips.

"I'm an idiot," I mumbled, referring to my short lived outlet of feelings as I propped myself up on my arms, looking down at Matt's shirt. His arms started lightly trailing my back, and I winced a little as they skimmed the still sore area on my spine.

"Not at all," he replied simply, my gaze raising back to meet with his. I suddenly wanted to tell him how much I loved that crystal gaze, but stopped as soon as the thought entered my mind. I wasn't about to make matters worse for myself.

I watched Matt as he slowly began to push himself up until he was sitting upright, my own body awkwardly following suit as I rested back on my knees beside him. "We should get going," he tried again. I frowned slightly as he said it. I had officially bought myself about 10 minutes. Was it really worth it?

"No, I look like shit," I stated bluntly with a pout, followed by a very odd silence before Matt broke out into loud, heart felt laughter. I watched him blankly for a moment, before a lopsided grin crept across my lips as he carried on, appearing genuinely amused.

"What?" I chucked after a while, watching Matt who had now fallen back down onto his back, fighting with his laughter, hands clutching his stomach. He started shaking his head as he bit down on his bottom lip, trying to stop sounds escaping.

"N-nothing," he tried, as he looked up at my blank expression. "Just... God, Bri," he breathed, a huge smile spreading across his face and shining in his eyes. He had managed to suppress his laughter into just the odd chuckle, still laying back against the pillows. I raised an eyebrow at him, a puzzled smile on my face.

Matt breathed out heavily before sitting up suddenly. "Man I'm going to miss you," he said softly, his gaze now level with mine and his smile not lifting from his lips. "That was just too good."

I pursed my lips again, somewhere between thoughtful and stubborn. "So... I don't look like I've been crying?" I asked slowly, not really understanding what he found so funny.

"You look amazing, now come on," he said with a smile, holding up a hand to me. I paused a little at the compliment, before my gaze fell down to look at his palm blankly. I saw him shake his head from the corner of my eye, before he grabbed my hand and started shuffling back across the bed, closer to the door. I squealed a little as I suddenly found myself being dragged away from the navy blue sheets that I had made myself quite at home at, my body stopping just before I reached the edge and fell on the floor. I glanced up at Matt, realising I had no option in this as he held firmly onto my hand. I had to get up and leave this room, and I wasn't going to come back.

I tumbled off of the bed and stood upright beside Matt, who was smiling down on me warmly. I honestly couldn't work out why he seemed so... Cheerful? Although it was helping to raise my spirits a little with his odd behavior. Maybe that was his intention, but I couldn't be sure. Something was a little off here.

Without warning Matt's hands settled on my shoulders, spinning me around and pulling me back against him. I stumbled slightly into him, laughing lightly as he started maneuvering us out the door, his legs lined up with mine and making our walking incredibly awkward. I bit my lip as I tried to concentrate on not falling over while wandering down the hall, literally taking one careful step at a time.

"Why are you so keen," I mumbled to myself as we reached the end of the hall, just before the stairs. Matt leaned completely over me in response, his breath teasing my ear as he lowered his head over my shoulder.

"Because the sooner this is over with, the sooner I get you all to myself again," he whispered playfully, making my jaw drop slightly. I glanced back over my shoulder at him, to see a triumphant grin across Matt's face at my reaction. I scowled back at him, actually quite relieved that it appeared to just be another of his jokes. I hoped.

Matt's arms outstretched as I started wandering down the stairs, making it easier for us to walk even with his hands still on my shoulders. I smiled to myself and rested my hands over his absently, sauntering down the stairs at my own pace as I got lost in my thoughts. For once, Moose's bass drum couldn't be heard echoing through the walls. That was usually a bad sign. I wasn't looking forward to these goodbyes in the least, but I found a little comfort in the fact Matt would be there to back me up. The only problem was, he wouldn't be there forever.

I took a deep breath as I reached the low lit, ground floor, taking the last few steps so I was standing opposite the music room door. I paused and bit the inside of my cheek in thought, before turning on my heels and being met with Matt's questioning gaze, hands now back at his sides.

"You were kidding, right?" I asked bravely, for once questioning his playful comments. Matt's expression dropped for a moment before a wide grin spread across his lips. He took a step towards me, closing the already small gap between us due to how tiny this 'room' was, and causing me to fall back against the door as a default reaction. I looked up at him towering down on me with growing curiosity as we stood toe to toe, that devilish grin never falling from Matt's face. My heart was in my throat at the look in his eyes, as his hand fell beside me to rest on the door handle.

Matt leaned down slightly, leaving just a few centimeters of space between us. "No," he said clearly, before abruptly turning the handle and pushing the door open, my body stumbling backwards into the music room and straight into the lime light.