Your Voice Was The Soundtrack Of My Summer

My favorite kiss that we shared was in the ocean. We weren’t even touching the bottom of the floor anymore. We floated across the calm ocean, glad that the harsh waves were behind us, and the screams from younger kids jumping in waves were just a distant muffled echo. All I could hear was the constant swish of the water and Indigo’s steady breath as she breathed in the salt water, clinging on to me as we floated effortlessly on the blue waters that we came to know as our home.

“Why did you come play to me?” she asked all of a sudden, her voice breaking the uncanny silence the ocean was presenting to us.

I thought back to when I saw her body, huddled together, seemingly shivering even in the summer heat. I thought back to when I saw her pale porcelain skin radiating a certain glow, so rare on the beach. Her hair tied messily into a black knot at the back of her head. I felt something, a vibe maybe? I felt a force drawing me to her, I remembered. It was some sort of beauty that struck me.

“You looked beautiful and sad,” I shrugged.

“Beautiful and sad? How could I be beautiful and sad?” she laughed.

“I don’t know, but you are,” I assured her, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

That was when it came. We weren’t aware of it at first. All we could feel was a light cold spray of water on our back and a dark shadow looming over us.

Indigo shrieked just as the wave came tumbling over us, a massive force of water hit us hard as Indigo and I tumbled down to the floor.

I could feel the sandy floor, feeling slimy and sticky and I held Indigo’s hand in the other. I couldn’t see anything, just a bare outline of her face and it stung as I attempted to see her body, in fear of losing her.

That’s when; I suddenly saw her head and instinctively grabbed it towards my face and pressed our lips together. It wasn’t a passionate kiss like we usually had before, but a breath on our lips sort of kiss. I didn’t feel the need of air trespass my lungs at all. I knew it was because it was Indigo that I need just to breath. That was it. That was all I needed.

I remember we surfaced up only for air, and I blew the salt out of her eyes. She laughed out loud and piggy backed me wrapping her legs around my torso, her arms hugging my shoulders. I turned around to kiss her and she returned the kiss, which as you can imagine was deeper than the one we shared under the water.

-

We sat under the tree at the park, Indigo, still wet from the beach and wearing my dry hoodie, sleeping on my shoulder. I was busily carving a ‘G’ in Indigo’s name with my pocketknife, with the ‘Paul & Indi’ already accomplished.

The music of Indigo’s steady breathing calmed me as I finished the horizontal line in the capital G and started the O.

That was when I first saw John “Beef” Keefe.

By chance, I had Delilah by my side, clumsily laying in her case under my feet. I was quietly humming Soundtrack Of My Summer and beating it in time with my foot.

John interestedly took a good look at me first, then at the guitar, then at Indigo. It wasn’t those sort of looks of jealousy or envy. It was more of a look that, I hope they live happily ever after, which I was okay with.

“Hey, man what’s up? I’m John, or Beef.” John politely struck out his hand. I laid my pocketknife down so I could extend my arm towards this Beef.

“Beef. Hey.” I nodded slowly, wondering why he was looking at me with an interested look.

“So, you play the guitar pretty good?” Beef nodded towards Delilah, looking curiously at her beat up complexion.

“You could say that. I make a living out of it. I’m not homeless though, I just make extra money, you know?” I explained, kneeling down and revealing my secret pocket where I stashed my money.

Again, this Beef dude didn’t open his eyes greedily, or not even in shock. Instead he looked on with admiration and I guess, approval?

“Listen, we’re looking for this guitarist for our band, we’re got everyone covered except the guitarist, so do you think you could play me a sample?” Beef asked, fiddling with his pockets for a while, and revealing a camcorder.

I felt my hopes suddenly rise. Instantly I remembered the concert Indigo and I went to, and I remembered telling her my dream of going big. This was it. This was my chance. I couldn’t believe a stroke of luck happened to pass me by. This moment.

“Sure, man. Hold on, let me get her off my shoulder.” I grinned at him, and shook Indigo awake. She blinked her eyes and smiled at me. She turned to Beef, and extended her hand.

“I’m Indigo.” She smiled.

“Beef.” He shook it.

I couldn’t help but suppress a big smile when they introduced their rather unique names.

“So, you ready?” Beef turned to me, holding the camcorder up. I nodded leaning over to reach my guitar.

I saw Indigo reach over for the pocketknife as I scooted to the left side, giving her room to stretch and giving me more legroom.

I nodded and saw Beef turn the camcorder on and the little green light near the lens turn red.

Today is a winding road
That’s taking me to places that I didn’t want to go, whoa
Today in the blink of an eye
I’m holding on to something and I do not know why I tried
I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation; what I’m feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there’s a way out
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you’re unlike any other?
You’ll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don’t wanna ever love another
You’ll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

I put down Delilah and looked at the camera attentively. The red light flashed back to green as Beef put down the camera and revealed his face, which was needless to say, very shocked.

“Wow.” Beef looked in admiration.

“Is that a good wow or a bad wow?” I asked, looking at Beef apprehensively.

Beef rolled his eyes at me and rewound a bit of what he recorded and played the video.

There was a lanky tall boy leaning on his guitar, brown hair diagonally strewn across his gaunt face with features bold, but perfect. There was a small girl still wet in an over huge hoodie softly echoing the boy’s voice, carving into the park bench.

Her voice intertwined beautifully with the simple acoustics of the guitar that the boy played with ease. His voice was barely heard, but it was still there, a low voice in perfect harmony with the girl’s higher voice.

“That’s really us.” I murmured in amazement.

“’Course dude! I have to tell the guys about you.” Beef smiled at both of us, in a welcoming way.

“Sure, no problem. Do you want my number?” I asked, in the back of my head, a voice telling me that this sounded utterly gay, and this other voice telling me I had a girlfriend.

“Yeah, that would help.” Beef nodded whipping out his phone.

He handed me his RAZR and I dialed in the 7 digits of my phone number, incessantly reminding myself that this sealed my future of becoming a big hotshot guitarist.

“So, just answer okay? I’ll call you tomorrow to tell you what the guys said and so we can all meet later, deal?” Beef asked, handing back my phone that I gave him, his digits newly input in my phone.

“Sure, see around Beef,” I waved to him as he walked down the opposite street of the park, replaying the video once more.

“Yeah, see you Paul! Indigo!” he waved back to us, while pulling his hat snug over his ears.

Indigo smiled at me silently, knowing that my dream had finally come true. She gestured to the carving I started and she finished.

Paul & Indigo 4ever.

No truer words had ever been written.

-

The whole day I was quiet, I know Indigo was hyper and more than excited about my luck about finding Beef and my demo. She probably wasn’t thinking about the false promise she told me that afternoon we went to the concert the third day we met.

“You'll be in the front row cheering me on won't you?”

“Of course, Paul.”

I remembered that day, and it all made sense now, how she chewed her lip melodramatically and hesitated before she answered. Everything seemed to fit now, all those awkward moments, how she didn’t want to fall in love.

It was like a puzzle, and only now the pieces were getting easier to find, since you could make out the picture already and all you had to do was find the remaining pieces.

Everything just seemed to fall into place perfectly.

“ . . . spotlight on you and mosh pitting. It’ll be great! Paul? Paul. Earth to Paul?” Indigo was waving her hand in front of my face as I came back to my senses, taking a break from finding the other missing pieces.

“You won’t be there cheering me on,” I blatantly said.

Indigo’s face shifted to shock to understanding to anger. She opened her mouth about to say something, I knew she was going to be defensive; she was going to say not to bring up the AIDS thing again because she hated to be reminded. But I had to, I had to remember, because I grew up hating for everything I love to be wasted.

“Indigo, you don’t have to deny it,” I answered for her.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry I lied. I had to, just to make you happy,” she wistfully told me, looking hopelessly into my eyes.

“It’s okay,” I gave in, seeing the hopelessness in her eyes, and how hard she tried just to make me happy.

It hit me then, how hard she tried, how difficult it was. Another piece fell in place. I couldn’t believe the emotional pain Indigo was, the pain of knowing what she would be leaving behind.

“Just, never mind. I’m sorry Indi, really,” I smiled at her sheepishly hoping my smile would make up for it.

“Paul, you didn’t do anything. . ,” but I never let her finish my sentence. In another surge of fear of losing her, I instinctively grabbed her and threw her across my body piggyback style.

I remember her laughter clearly, likes tiny silver bells chiming. I remember how she held on tight on me for life. Of course, in a literal and figurative sense.

Little did I know that I my dream overcame my passion. And I thought I had my priorities in order.