The Heart Knows No Reason

When I woke up the next morning I felt happy. It was about 4:00 AM so I wasn’t in a rush to get ready. I decided I wanted to look good today. I fed the kitten and went to the bathroom. Adam had not returned so I just figured he was still at a friend’s house.

When I got into the bathroom I gathered my straightening iron, some hair spray and a brush. I went back into my room and decided to do it up into a bow today. (If you have never seen this before Google "Lady Gaga Hair Bow" it’s super cute.) When I was through and I thought I looked good, I put on some Smokey eyeliner and went to grab some clothes.

I ended up wearing some black skinny jeans, a navy blue ruffled top, and some cream high heels to make me look super tall.

I discovered that if I put red concealer on the bruise it canceled the green out and with foundation and concealer on top you could never tell I had an accident.

When I walked out of my room I saw my mom sitting in the dining room, smoking a cigarette and staring into space.

“Hey mom”, I said happily and she just nodded in recognition. I was about to walk out then I heard a mumble and I turned around. “You look pretty Anna, real pretty”, was all my mom said before shutting back down.

When I got to school I had a half hour before school would start and there wasn’t really anyone there. I decided to just walk around. I was super bored and I felt awkward with it being so quiet. I decided to call Rain to see if she could come to school early to hang out but when I dialed the number I heard her ringtone echoing in the hall.

I furrowed my eyebrows and waited for her to answer the phone. It rang once more and then cut to voice mail which was really weird. I started walking down the hall looking for where she could be, if it was even her.

I turned a corner and saw her alright; she was sitting down on the floor, making out with a guy. I stopped for a second before turning around and walking into the bathroom. I was still calm. I texted her to come see me when she was done, I wondered who the guy was; I wondered if he was her boyfriend, and I wondered why I was starting to cry. It was about ten minutes before she walked into the bathroom. I was surprised she even came but she did and I couldn’t read her expression at all.

“Hey”, I murmured looking at the ground. I expected her to come with an apology or maybe just walk out, maybe beg for forgiveness.

“Well, I don’t see why you’re all mad about this; I mean we aren’t going out. I’m a bisexual woman and just because you and I “eat out” every so often doesn’t mean I can’t get some dick.” She explained like I was a child.

I felt like the smallest person ever.

I felt like an insect on her shoe.

I felt like a child being lectured on why they have to wear pants.

I felt so unloved.

“I thought you liked me”, I whispered kind of quiet.

She laughed like what I said was hilarious. “Of course I like you! You eat me really good and you’re pretty. Your there when I need you and I mean what else do I need to say.”

You could say you love me.

You could say that I’m important to you.

You could say I’m a stellar person.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at the ground still. She sighed and moved closer to me. She lightly lifted my head by my chin and kissed me.

I could taste tobacco and booze in her mouth. She did neither of these things. I guess the boy she kissed does though.

The kiss started out really light and gentle but then got rougher and rougher. I felt her suck my bottom lip into her mouth and start biting on it really hard. I felt the skin break and sharp pain from her tongue poking the cut.

When she was done my bottom lip was swollen and was extremely noticeable. I opened my mouth to complain when she flicked my bruise.

She leaned down and whispered in my ear before leaving.

When she left the only words that were going through my mind were what she had said, “Don’t misbehave, pet.”