Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don't
Ten
*Katie's Point of view*
As soon as I walked into my room I saw Holly standing there, I was not in the mood for her tonight so I just walked past her and put my stuff down. She grabbed my arm and pushed me onto the bed.
"Have you done it yet ?" Holly hissed
"Yes" I mumbled
"Good" she said
After that she walked out and began to act the 'darling grand daughter'. If only my gran knew the truth. I had a few calls from Alex but I didn't answer, there wasn't anyone I could talk to right now so I sat in my room and put on my CD Alex gave me. He was an incredible musician and the band was wonderful. I missed him, I missed the way he spoke to me, the way he hugged me and even the way he made love to me but I just couldn't risk him getting hurt. There was a knock at my door
"Who is it" I called
"It's Jack" he replied
“Oh erm, come in ?" I called
He walked in with a box in his hands, he looked at me and I could tell he seemed pissed off.
"What is it ?" I asked
"So it's true then ?" he mumbled "I am so sorry about what happened to you"
"Don't be" I snapped
He looked away
"I’m sorry, it's just stressful" I said
He nodded and sat the box down
"It's from Alex" he whispered
"Take it back" I replied, my voice was shaky
"No" Jack said bluntly "He loves you Katie, he never shuts up about you, about how pretty you are, how your perfect and how he fucking needs you"
"You don't understand" I whispered
"No I don't and neither does Alex" he snapped "Why don't you just talk to him ?!”
"Cause if I go near him he will get hurt" I shouted “ I love him but I won't let anything bad happen to him”
I sat back down on my bed and cried, Jack walked over and hugged me
“I'm sorry for shouting at you, it's just he is my best friend” he began
“It's fine and I'm sorry too” I whispered “I need to be left alone for a bit”
Jack just stood up and left. I stared at the package and finally decided to open it. It was a guitar and it was beautiful. I picked it up and found there was a message engraved on it
“I’m gonna break down these walls
I built around myself
I wanna fall so in love
with you and no one else”
I had been two months since I broke up with Alex, and I wasn't coping with it at all. I had lost so much weight because I had gone off my food but I didn't show any emotion. At school things were so hard, I had to look at him everyday and try not to feel anything. At least I didn't cry anymore.
It was Friday and I had science with Alex last period and I could tell it wasn't going to go well.
“We are working in pairs people” said Mr Visa “Alex pair up with Katie”
I closed my eyes as he walked over to me, when he reached me he couldn't look at me. It had been three months and we couldn't look at each other. The period went by pretty slowly and we didn't talk to each other. It was only when Alex reached across the desk to retrieve his pen I noticed something
“What is that on your wrists” I whispered
“Nothing” he mumbled
He started to turn his body around but before he could I grabbed his wrist and pushed his bracelets to one side. I let out a small gasp and could feel my stomach twist. He had been cutting.
As soon as I walked into my room I saw Holly standing there, I was not in the mood for her tonight so I just walked past her and put my stuff down. She grabbed my arm and pushed me onto the bed.
"Have you done it yet ?" Holly hissed
"Yes" I mumbled
"Good" she said
After that she walked out and began to act the 'darling grand daughter'. If only my gran knew the truth. I had a few calls from Alex but I didn't answer, there wasn't anyone I could talk to right now so I sat in my room and put on my CD Alex gave me. He was an incredible musician and the band was wonderful. I missed him, I missed the way he spoke to me, the way he hugged me and even the way he made love to me but I just couldn't risk him getting hurt. There was a knock at my door
"Who is it" I called
"It's Jack" he replied
“Oh erm, come in ?" I called
He walked in with a box in his hands, he looked at me and I could tell he seemed pissed off.
"What is it ?" I asked
"So it's true then ?" he mumbled "I am so sorry about what happened to you"
"Don't be" I snapped
He looked away
"I’m sorry, it's just stressful" I said
He nodded and sat the box down
"It's from Alex" he whispered
"Take it back" I replied, my voice was shaky
"No" Jack said bluntly "He loves you Katie, he never shuts up about you, about how pretty you are, how your perfect and how he fucking needs you"
"You don't understand" I whispered
"No I don't and neither does Alex" he snapped "Why don't you just talk to him ?!”
"Cause if I go near him he will get hurt" I shouted “ I love him but I won't let anything bad happen to him”
I sat back down on my bed and cried, Jack walked over and hugged me
“I'm sorry for shouting at you, it's just he is my best friend” he began
“It's fine and I'm sorry too” I whispered “I need to be left alone for a bit”
Jack just stood up and left. I stared at the package and finally decided to open it. It was a guitar and it was beautiful. I picked it up and found there was a message engraved on it
“I’m gonna break down these walls
I built around myself
I wanna fall so in love
with you and no one else”
I had been two months since I broke up with Alex, and I wasn't coping with it at all. I had lost so much weight because I had gone off my food but I didn't show any emotion. At school things were so hard, I had to look at him everyday and try not to feel anything. At least I didn't cry anymore.
It was Friday and I had science with Alex last period and I could tell it wasn't going to go well.
“We are working in pairs people” said Mr Visa “Alex pair up with Katie”
I closed my eyes as he walked over to me, when he reached me he couldn't look at me. It had been three months and we couldn't look at each other. The period went by pretty slowly and we didn't talk to each other. It was only when Alex reached across the desk to retrieve his pen I noticed something
“What is that on your wrists” I whispered
“Nothing” he mumbled
He started to turn his body around but before he could I grabbed his wrist and pushed his bracelets to one side. I let out a small gasp and could feel my stomach twist. He had been cutting.