Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don't
Sixteen
*Alex's Point of View*
I was supposed to be going to see Katie today, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had done such a bad thing, if I told her then it would crush her. I had only just gotten her back and now I had fucked things up again.
“You have got to tell her” said Zack
“But I don't want to hurt her” I replied
“If you didn't want to hurt her then why did you fuck that whore” he mumbled
I stood up and lunged towards him but he was to fast and stopped me. I tried to swing for him again but Rian and Jack were pulling me back.
“What the fuck Alex” shouted Jack “Don't fucking do that”
“Alex, you know Zack is right” said Rian “You need to tell her”
“It will crush her” I whispered “She has been through so much recently
I could feel a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. My phone vibrated.
Katie: I have some news
Alex: So do I
Katie: Oh, ok where will we meet ?
Alex: Meet me in the cabin in 10 ?
Katie: Ok then
“You guys need to leave like now” I said “Katie is coming over
“Right, ok then” said Zack “Good luck and I'm sorry”
“Don't be” I replied
They all left quite quickly and I sat alone with my thoughts. I wasn't sure how I was going to do this but I had to, the longer I hid it the worse it would become. Katie arrived about five minuets later, her hair was pulled back and she had on an old pair of jeans and a tee, she looked fantastic, far too good for me. She walked over to me and hugged me
“I've missed you so much” she whispered
“I've missed to more” I replied
“Impossible” she said
We stood there for a moment just holding each other. I pulled away first
“Katie, I have something I need to tell you” I stuttered and held her hand
“What is it ?” she asked with a puzzled look on her face
“When we were on tour, there was one night that I got very drunk and when I'm drunk I tend to do things I regret” I whispered
I looked at her face and I could see the hurt in them, she knew where this was going and she let go of my hand. Her mouth opened but no words came out of it
“Katie” I said
“Alex, I don't think I should see you anymore” she finally managed to say
“But” I began
“No, I loved you and trusted you and you did this to me ? Do you hate me Alex ?”
“Of course not!” I almost shouted “I love you”
“What is love Alex ? Is it something we toss around ? Something that we say but find it impossible to mean?” she whispered “If you loved my then you wouldn't have fucked that girl sober or drunk”
She was being so calm, it almost frightened me
“Goodbye Alex” she whispered and kissed me on the cheek
She turned to leave when I grabbed her arm and spun her around
“What news did you have for me ?” I asked
“It doesn't matter anymore” she replied
“Why not ?” I said
“Cause we're not together” she whispered and a tear fell from her eye
I let her arm drop and she walked out crying her eyes out, I hated to see her cry especially when I was the one making her cry.
I was supposed to be going to see Katie today, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had done such a bad thing, if I told her then it would crush her. I had only just gotten her back and now I had fucked things up again.
“You have got to tell her” said Zack
“But I don't want to hurt her” I replied
“If you didn't want to hurt her then why did you fuck that whore” he mumbled
I stood up and lunged towards him but he was to fast and stopped me. I tried to swing for him again but Rian and Jack were pulling me back.
“What the fuck Alex” shouted Jack “Don't fucking do that”
“Alex, you know Zack is right” said Rian “You need to tell her”
“It will crush her” I whispered “She has been through so much recently
I could feel a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. My phone vibrated.
Katie: I have some news
Alex: So do I
Katie: Oh, ok where will we meet ?
Alex: Meet me in the cabin in 10 ?
Katie: Ok then
“You guys need to leave like now” I said “Katie is coming over
“Right, ok then” said Zack “Good luck and I'm sorry”
“Don't be” I replied
They all left quite quickly and I sat alone with my thoughts. I wasn't sure how I was going to do this but I had to, the longer I hid it the worse it would become. Katie arrived about five minuets later, her hair was pulled back and she had on an old pair of jeans and a tee, she looked fantastic, far too good for me. She walked over to me and hugged me
“I've missed you so much” she whispered
“I've missed to more” I replied
“Impossible” she said
We stood there for a moment just holding each other. I pulled away first
“Katie, I have something I need to tell you” I stuttered and held her hand
“What is it ?” she asked with a puzzled look on her face
“When we were on tour, there was one night that I got very drunk and when I'm drunk I tend to do things I regret” I whispered
I looked at her face and I could see the hurt in them, she knew where this was going and she let go of my hand. Her mouth opened but no words came out of it
“Katie” I said
“Alex, I don't think I should see you anymore” she finally managed to say
“But” I began
“No, I loved you and trusted you and you did this to me ? Do you hate me Alex ?”
“Of course not!” I almost shouted “I love you”
“What is love Alex ? Is it something we toss around ? Something that we say but find it impossible to mean?” she whispered “If you loved my then you wouldn't have fucked that girl sober or drunk”
She was being so calm, it almost frightened me
“Goodbye Alex” she whispered and kissed me on the cheek
She turned to leave when I grabbed her arm and spun her around
“What news did you have for me ?” I asked
“It doesn't matter anymore” she replied
“Why not ?” I said
“Cause we're not together” she whispered and a tear fell from her eye
I let her arm drop and she walked out crying her eyes out, I hated to see her cry especially when I was the one making her cry.