Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don't
Twenty Seven
*Katie's Point of View*
I had been waiting at the hospital for about three days, the nurses let me stay overnight. Lisa had been in a few times but never stayed long because something always seemed to “come up”. I thought Alex had stopped cutting, I thought he was happy with his life, he had a girlfriend and we had a son. Alex had been out for all of the days I had been with him, he had suffered from severe blood loss and needed to have a blood transfusion. Jack, Rian and Zack came in and I told them to look after Josh because I needed to stay with Alex and it wasn't fair to keep Josh here.
It was the fourth day and I was sitting by Alex's bed holding his hand. I knew I shouldn't be here, it should be Lisa looking after him but when I was in hospital is was Alex that was there for me,in some way I owed him this.
“You should talk to him” said a nurse
“Really ?” I asked
“It helps” she replied and walked out closing the door behind her
It sat for a moment a thought what I could say
“Erm Hey Alex” I whispered “I want you to get better for Josh and for the band and for everyone, I need you to get better for me, I can't cope without you. I never stopped loving you, but you hurt me and I can't trust you any more. You were the best and worst thing that came into my life, you saved me in so many ways, please don't leave me.”
I stopped and took a deep breath
“Why did you do it ? Please tell me it was because of me because if it was them I am sorry and if you wake up then we can sort this mess out, you need to wake up Alex”
“How touching” said Lisa, her voice full of sarcasm
I wiped my face then faced her
“So you decided to give a fuck ?” I spat
“Get away from him” she glared “He is mine, he loves me”
I walked out and she grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall, she slapped me across the face.
“Don't come near him again” she said into my ear “Josh is getting big isn't he ? Alex really loves him”
“Come near my baby and I will kill you” I growled
“Sure you will” she smirked and let me go
I walked out of the hospital and phoned Jack to come pick me up
“I need to see Josh” I said
“Ok, I will come pick you up” he replied “See you in half and hour”
“Ok” I replied and hung up
I got myself a coffee and waited on Jack. He arrived at about half past four, the drive home was in silence until Jack finally broke the it.
“How is he ?” asked Jack
“Better” I replied “The nurse recommended I talked to him, so I did”
“Oh, ok” he said “Can I ask what happened to your face ?”
“Lisa” I replied
“She hit you ?” he asked
“She slapped me” I replied
“Why ?” he said, there was anger in his voice
“She heard what I said to Alex, she didn't like it” I mumbled
“What did you say to him ?” questioned Jack
“Nothing” I replied
“Don't lie to me” he sighed
“All I said was that I didn't want him to die” I mumbled “The fact I still love him might have slipped out”
Jack's mouth fell open
“What ?” I asked
“What do you think ?!” he almost shouted “You do realise that Alex is still completely in love with you ?”
“I can't trust him Jack” I began “I can't forgive him and I don't want to risk getting hurt again”
“I understand” he said and pulled into my house
I jumped out of the car and walked into the house and found Rian, Zack and Josh watching the football, I rolled my eyes and laughed
“Having fun ?” I asked
“Of course” replied Zack with a huge grin on his face
I picked up Josh and cuddled him
“What happened your face ?” asked Rian
“Lisa” I sighed again
“She hit you ?” asked Zack, he looked shocked
“She slapped me actually” I replied
“Why ?” asked Zack
“It doesn't matter” I replied “So how has Josh been ?”
“Wonderful” grinned Rian “Would you mind if we left and went to see Alex ?”
“Of course not” I replied
“Thanks” said Zack “See you later”
“Bye” I said to them all
I decided to put on a DVD, Jack had left his Home Alone box set so I put that on after I had put Josh to sleep. My cheek still stung but I didn't regret anything I had said.
I had been waiting at the hospital for about three days, the nurses let me stay overnight. Lisa had been in a few times but never stayed long because something always seemed to “come up”. I thought Alex had stopped cutting, I thought he was happy with his life, he had a girlfriend and we had a son. Alex had been out for all of the days I had been with him, he had suffered from severe blood loss and needed to have a blood transfusion. Jack, Rian and Zack came in and I told them to look after Josh because I needed to stay with Alex and it wasn't fair to keep Josh here.
It was the fourth day and I was sitting by Alex's bed holding his hand. I knew I shouldn't be here, it should be Lisa looking after him but when I was in hospital is was Alex that was there for me,in some way I owed him this.
“You should talk to him” said a nurse
“Really ?” I asked
“It helps” she replied and walked out closing the door behind her
It sat for a moment a thought what I could say
“Erm Hey Alex” I whispered “I want you to get better for Josh and for the band and for everyone, I need you to get better for me, I can't cope without you. I never stopped loving you, but you hurt me and I can't trust you any more. You were the best and worst thing that came into my life, you saved me in so many ways, please don't leave me.”
I stopped and took a deep breath
“Why did you do it ? Please tell me it was because of me because if it was them I am sorry and if you wake up then we can sort this mess out, you need to wake up Alex”
“How touching” said Lisa, her voice full of sarcasm
I wiped my face then faced her
“So you decided to give a fuck ?” I spat
“Get away from him” she glared “He is mine, he loves me”
I walked out and she grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall, she slapped me across the face.
“Don't come near him again” she said into my ear “Josh is getting big isn't he ? Alex really loves him”
“Come near my baby and I will kill you” I growled
“Sure you will” she smirked and let me go
I walked out of the hospital and phoned Jack to come pick me up
“I need to see Josh” I said
“Ok, I will come pick you up” he replied “See you in half and hour”
“Ok” I replied and hung up
I got myself a coffee and waited on Jack. He arrived at about half past four, the drive home was in silence until Jack finally broke the it.
“How is he ?” asked Jack
“Better” I replied “The nurse recommended I talked to him, so I did”
“Oh, ok” he said “Can I ask what happened to your face ?”
“Lisa” I replied
“She hit you ?” he asked
“She slapped me” I replied
“Why ?” he said, there was anger in his voice
“She heard what I said to Alex, she didn't like it” I mumbled
“What did you say to him ?” questioned Jack
“Nothing” I replied
“Don't lie to me” he sighed
“All I said was that I didn't want him to die” I mumbled “The fact I still love him might have slipped out”
Jack's mouth fell open
“What ?” I asked
“What do you think ?!” he almost shouted “You do realise that Alex is still completely in love with you ?”
“I can't trust him Jack” I began “I can't forgive him and I don't want to risk getting hurt again”
“I understand” he said and pulled into my house
I jumped out of the car and walked into the house and found Rian, Zack and Josh watching the football, I rolled my eyes and laughed
“Having fun ?” I asked
“Of course” replied Zack with a huge grin on his face
I picked up Josh and cuddled him
“What happened your face ?” asked Rian
“Lisa” I sighed again
“She hit you ?” asked Zack, he looked shocked
“She slapped me actually” I replied
“Why ?” asked Zack
“It doesn't matter” I replied “So how has Josh been ?”
“Wonderful” grinned Rian “Would you mind if we left and went to see Alex ?”
“Of course not” I replied
“Thanks” said Zack “See you later”
“Bye” I said to them all
I decided to put on a DVD, Jack had left his Home Alone box set so I put that on after I had put Josh to sleep. My cheek still stung but I didn't regret anything I had said.