Kindred
004.
“Evan Lorne fell in love with me the moment I was placed into his arms when I was a few hours old. With the exception of my parents, he was the only other person it was rumored I ever slept or quieted down for. I kissed him when I was sixteen and he was pushing forty; he was always the gentleman though, respecting my parents’ wishes and me.
“I returned to Atlantis as a Major at twenty-four, he was forty-eight. I didn’t care he was old enough to be my father, he was one of my best friends growing up and I loved him. I was only with him once, he was fifty-two; fraternization wasn’t an issue in our regulations. However, Torren, Son of Teyla kept any other advances at bay.”
I chuckled a little before continuing.
“Torren took a liking to me the very first time he was permitted to visit along side his mother. I think more or less it was because of how I came to existence than who I was as a person. However, he begged his mother for eighteen months if he could choose me as his wife. She eventually told him it was my choice. I took a liking to him; he was very close in age to me, something Evan took badly. He visited often, with or without his mother. I went to their city on occasion and was asked once to be his companion for the duration of their four day harvest festival. I was given permission to stay; my Father said I deserved to be happy. Upon my return, I went to my quarters and found a small package on my bed.
“I opened the envelope and found a slew of photos from the past four days, all of Torren and I. All of me smiling up into his face, most of which while we were dancing. I knew exactly who took them, but he had no right to be jealous. Evan is an artist no matter where I’ve visited. In some he’s a photographer, in others he’s a musician, he draws and paints and in a few he writes. Mine loved photography and drawing. He must’ve had hundreds of pieces dedicated to me, most of which were from my childhood—and no he was not one of those freaks—that he gave to my parents. Three days prior to me coming here his body was sent back through the ring; the only one of his team to be returned.
“I was told to go through his things, take what I wanted before everything else was sent back to his sister on Earth. The only thing of his I took was his collection of his sketchbooks.”
I wiped at the lone tear that fell down my cheek. I could see sorrow reflecting in those blue eyes staring directly into my own. I took a deep breath before glancing down and shifting to the last tag in my small collection. I glanced over at him, I knew the pain I felt at that small name, the great weight behind it; all of it was present in my stare.
“They had met in Colorado, between college and the Air Force, they had plenty of interactions. It was a math tournament that brought them together, both geeks to the core, regardless if they wanted to admit it freely.”
I jiggled the tag.
“He made the first move, cornered my Father in one of the rooms left for the competitors at one of the tournaments; demanded a date from him, left him no option to say no. That first date led to many more and the rest is history pretty much. They made it through the Ori and were asked to be the leaders of the Atlantis mission. The best of the best were chosen to fight the war against a group of people called the Geni.
“They got married in Athos; a man named Halling did their joining ceremony. Two years into their tour I came about. My parents were exploring one of the outer labs and naturally turned something on by merely stepping into the room and hey, new and shiny and they were like kids in a toy store. Nine months later I was welcomed into the world and became something of a mascot for them, a beacon of hope. I was what reminded them of why they were there, fighting an enemy that was so close to discovering our world.”
I had shifted in my tale, my knees pulled to my chest, facing him as I told him of a life that could’ve been his. Despite what I’ve told Carson, he is my Father, there is no other Rodney McKay, just one in each universe. I could tell he was hanging on to my every word, everything twisting and slotting into place—finally making sense for him. He growled and tapped his ear; someone must be calling for him.
“This better be an emergency, you’ve interrupted something very, very important, something that your—oh, sorry Colonel. Yes, she’s with me, why else would there be two life signs this far out…yes mother. McKay out.”
His eyes widened and he brought his hand to his mouth.
“Calen, I, I should’ve thought before I said that, I didn’t, I just—“
I smiled.
“It’s fine Dr. McKay. I’ve had a long time to accept his death.”
His jaw dropped.
“I was married to John Sheppard?!”
I laughed again, this time he joined me. When he smiled, his eyes crinkled just like my Father’s and that’s when I felt everything I had been keeping at bay come to the surface. My laughs turned into sobs and tears streamed down my cheeks as I curled into myself even more. I hadn’t broken down yet which is why this was so sudden.
“I’m sorry! I’m not very good at this sort of thing…is there, I mean, can I…”
I heard him shifting and then I felt arms tentatively wrap themselves around my shoulders. I tensed slightly before relaxing into his embrace, untangling my limbs so I could wrap them around him. He maneuvered me till I was in his lap, his hands gently rubbing small circles up and down my back; I clung to him like the lifeline he literally was.
After a while I moved to pull away and I felt his hand press me back to his chest.
“No, you’re going to stay like this till you’re certain you have the strength to get up. I don’t care how long that’s going to take. If you go down on the way to your quarters I cannot help you get back up, bad back.”
I couldn’t help but smile into his neck and cling on tighter. I muttered a thank you and I’m sure he heard me, or at least understood me. I’m not sure how long we sat out there, him holding me like a small child with a scratched knee, comforting me in a way I hadn’t realized I needed. My fingers ached from their desperate grip in his jacket; I’m certain his back ached, but knowing he was willing to sit here with me like this, I knew that my Father had picked the right McKay to send me to.
“I returned to Atlantis as a Major at twenty-four, he was forty-eight. I didn’t care he was old enough to be my father, he was one of my best friends growing up and I loved him. I was only with him once, he was fifty-two; fraternization wasn’t an issue in our regulations. However, Torren, Son of Teyla kept any other advances at bay.”
I chuckled a little before continuing.
“Torren took a liking to me the very first time he was permitted to visit along side his mother. I think more or less it was because of how I came to existence than who I was as a person. However, he begged his mother for eighteen months if he could choose me as his wife. She eventually told him it was my choice. I took a liking to him; he was very close in age to me, something Evan took badly. He visited often, with or without his mother. I went to their city on occasion and was asked once to be his companion for the duration of their four day harvest festival. I was given permission to stay; my Father said I deserved to be happy. Upon my return, I went to my quarters and found a small package on my bed.
“I opened the envelope and found a slew of photos from the past four days, all of Torren and I. All of me smiling up into his face, most of which while we were dancing. I knew exactly who took them, but he had no right to be jealous. Evan is an artist no matter where I’ve visited. In some he’s a photographer, in others he’s a musician, he draws and paints and in a few he writes. Mine loved photography and drawing. He must’ve had hundreds of pieces dedicated to me, most of which were from my childhood—and no he was not one of those freaks—that he gave to my parents. Three days prior to me coming here his body was sent back through the ring; the only one of his team to be returned.
“I was told to go through his things, take what I wanted before everything else was sent back to his sister on Earth. The only thing of his I took was his collection of his sketchbooks.”
I wiped at the lone tear that fell down my cheek. I could see sorrow reflecting in those blue eyes staring directly into my own. I took a deep breath before glancing down and shifting to the last tag in my small collection. I glanced over at him, I knew the pain I felt at that small name, the great weight behind it; all of it was present in my stare.
“They had met in Colorado, between college and the Air Force, they had plenty of interactions. It was a math tournament that brought them together, both geeks to the core, regardless if they wanted to admit it freely.”
I jiggled the tag.
“He made the first move, cornered my Father in one of the rooms left for the competitors at one of the tournaments; demanded a date from him, left him no option to say no. That first date led to many more and the rest is history pretty much. They made it through the Ori and were asked to be the leaders of the Atlantis mission. The best of the best were chosen to fight the war against a group of people called the Geni.
“They got married in Athos; a man named Halling did their joining ceremony. Two years into their tour I came about. My parents were exploring one of the outer labs and naturally turned something on by merely stepping into the room and hey, new and shiny and they were like kids in a toy store. Nine months later I was welcomed into the world and became something of a mascot for them, a beacon of hope. I was what reminded them of why they were there, fighting an enemy that was so close to discovering our world.”
I had shifted in my tale, my knees pulled to my chest, facing him as I told him of a life that could’ve been his. Despite what I’ve told Carson, he is my Father, there is no other Rodney McKay, just one in each universe. I could tell he was hanging on to my every word, everything twisting and slotting into place—finally making sense for him. He growled and tapped his ear; someone must be calling for him.
“This better be an emergency, you’ve interrupted something very, very important, something that your—oh, sorry Colonel. Yes, she’s with me, why else would there be two life signs this far out…yes mother. McKay out.”
His eyes widened and he brought his hand to his mouth.
“Calen, I, I should’ve thought before I said that, I didn’t, I just—“
I smiled.
“It’s fine Dr. McKay. I’ve had a long time to accept his death.”
His jaw dropped.
“I was married to John Sheppard?!”
I laughed again, this time he joined me. When he smiled, his eyes crinkled just like my Father’s and that’s when I felt everything I had been keeping at bay come to the surface. My laughs turned into sobs and tears streamed down my cheeks as I curled into myself even more. I hadn’t broken down yet which is why this was so sudden.
“I’m sorry! I’m not very good at this sort of thing…is there, I mean, can I…”
I heard him shifting and then I felt arms tentatively wrap themselves around my shoulders. I tensed slightly before relaxing into his embrace, untangling my limbs so I could wrap them around him. He maneuvered me till I was in his lap, his hands gently rubbing small circles up and down my back; I clung to him like the lifeline he literally was.
After a while I moved to pull away and I felt his hand press me back to his chest.
“No, you’re going to stay like this till you’re certain you have the strength to get up. I don’t care how long that’s going to take. If you go down on the way to your quarters I cannot help you get back up, bad back.”
I couldn’t help but smile into his neck and cling on tighter. I muttered a thank you and I’m sure he heard me, or at least understood me. I’m not sure how long we sat out there, him holding me like a small child with a scratched knee, comforting me in a way I hadn’t realized I needed. My fingers ached from their desperate grip in his jacket; I’m certain his back ached, but knowing he was willing to sit here with me like this, I knew that my Father had picked the right McKay to send me to.