Status: Done!
We'll Fight This Me and You
1/1
Jim's death was so hard, I didn't lose just one of my band mates, but I lost my best friend, my fucking brother from another mother. I thought losing him would be the worse pain I would ever have to deal with in my life, but I was proved wrong as time went on...
Maybe I was the only one who took notice in the way he acted weeks after we put Jimmy in the ground? Maybe he was looking for help, but just didn't know how to ask, we all know how much pride he has. Maybe if I just watched him more and made him go out with us, he wouldn't have drowned his sorrow is alcohol.
Bottle after bottle, gulp after gulp the pain stopped, but only for a little while. The memories are to hard to keep, he wants to forget, he just wants everything to go back to how it use to be. The five of them sitting in the basement rocking out to whatever they felt like. Time won't go back and he knows that, but with just one more gulp he is willing to try and get the wasted time back.
I thought he was better than this, he always said he was fine and we were all to damn blind to see that it was a lie.
“Just fucking leave the hell alone Michelle! I told you I'll be back in the morning!” he yelled his face redden in anger. “...I can't do this anymore Brian, I've tired to get you to talk to me, but you just push me away...” Michelle says with tears in her eyes. “What do you want from me?! Huh what the fuck to you want me to say Mich? Please tell me what you want!” she looks Brian right in the eyes and a tear falls, “I want the old Brian back...” she says softly and leaves the house to go stay at her sisters. “Fucking bitch!” Brian yells brokenly and hurries into the kitchen for his stash of JD. “Just make time stop...please?” he asks looking at the bottle in his hand.
I'm tired of watching him kill himself, it's time I do something, but what? I need to let him know I'm here...we're all here and we're not going anywhere.
“Brian...?” John calls out into the house as we all walk in. I look in the living room and sigh, “Did something die in here?” Zack asks his face turning green. “Hope not...” I say and we all head up stairs. The faint sound of crying is heard as we get closer to the rec room. I look back at the guys and they nod their heads as I place my hand on the door handle. “Brian?” I call twisting the door handle to find it unlocked. “Go...a...away.” his voice yells from the other side and I push the door open. There on the floor surrounded in broken bottle and broken dreams is my best friend, my brother....Brian; In the corner with tears running down his face with a death hold on a bottle of Jack.
“Brian dude...” Zack says looking at him in disbelief. “He is way over ripe.” Johnny mutters and Zack elbows him in the ribs. We all walk over, making sure not to step on the broken glass. We take a set around him and sit in silence for a while. “What...d...do you want?” Brian slurs and I shake my head, “Our best friend back...we want our brother back.” I say. “Yeah? Well he's dead! He's fucking six god damn feet under!” he says his eyes now hard, but still lifeless. Zack scoffs, “No he's fucking not, but God damn it he...YOU will be if you keep this up!” Zack says looking at Brain with pleading eyes. “Why let it get this bad...we are here....we are going through the same thing you are...?” Johnny asks clearly hurt.
Brian looks up at him and something wakes up in his eyes, “...You're here...you are here....with...me?” he says more to himself. We all nod our heads, “We're stick with each other no matter what. If you want to deal with Jim's passing okay that's fine do whatever you want, but you will not kill yourself! I'm not going to just sit and watch you kill yourself! I already had to just fucking bury one of my brother's....please Brian don't make me bury you too.” I beg not afraid to let my tears fall as I tell him the truth. “If you kill yourself you'll kill me....you'll kill all of us.” Zack says. “We need you man, if Jim and you are both gone...well then I want to die too.” John says and Brian looks at all of us.
“Who do you care if I die? You've all been doing fine without Jimmy...you all act as though he was never our friend!” Brian yells. “We fucking care! Don't you dare fucking say we aren't hurting cause we all fucking are! You have no right to say that, just because we aren't trying to kill ourselves to see him sooner?!” I scream at him, “Matt...” John says trying to clam me down. “No fuck this! I'm so sick of you and your bullshit Haner! You think cause you knew him longer that you're the only one who lost him?! Well guess what you're not! We all lost him! His family lost him! Leana lost him! The fans lost him! Okay everyone fucking lost him not just you!” I yell and he says nothing at all, he raise the bottle up to his lips and I feel the last of my coolness leave me as I grab the bottle out of Brian's hand and throw in across the room.
“Hey!” he yells standing up. I get to my feet and look down at him, “You listen to me Haner, I fucking care about you! We all do, Michelle is slowly dying without! Your family is falling apart because of your drinking! This friendship is the only thing that is holding up and right now even that is hanging by a thread!” “Then just go! I don't give a flying fuck about anyone! I just want Jimmy back!” Brian cries his voice breaking and his knees give out. I catch him in my arms before he hits the ground. “We all want him back man...but this-” I motion around the room at all the bottles, “Isn't going to bring him back...he's not c-coming back, no matter how hard we wish. He's gone man...he's fucking gone. All we got is each other...I don't want to lose you...I can't fucking lose you man!” I say shaking him a bit in my arms.
“...I...I'm sorry...” he cries truly showing how broken he really is. Zack and John both stand up and wrap their arms around Brian and I. “We'll be through this Bri...we'll find away out of the dark and into the light.” John says. “Yeah man our friendship is stronger then anything...we'll find away past this bump in the road...” Zack says. “...Really?” Brian asks. “Yeah man we'll fight this...me and you.” I tell him and he closes his eyes, “...I'd like that...I'd like that a lot.” he says and rest his head on top of Johnny's. “Um...not that I don't love you and all, and I'm happy that we have gotten you back...but dude you reek!” Johnny says making us all laugh. Brian sniffs his pits and makes a face, “...I'm going to get a shower now...” he says a light blush hitting his checks. “Yeah you do that man, we'll be here cleaning up.” Zack says.
Brian leaves the room and I look at my two friends, “See told you we could make it though this!” I say with a smile on my face. “Yeah...you sure did.” they say and we get to work cleaning up all the broken glass.
Maybe I was the only one who took notice in the way he acted weeks after we put Jimmy in the ground? Maybe he was looking for help, but just didn't know how to ask, we all know how much pride he has. Maybe if I just watched him more and made him go out with us, he wouldn't have drowned his sorrow is alcohol.
Bottle after bottle, gulp after gulp the pain stopped, but only for a little while. The memories are to hard to keep, he wants to forget, he just wants everything to go back to how it use to be. The five of them sitting in the basement rocking out to whatever they felt like. Time won't go back and he knows that, but with just one more gulp he is willing to try and get the wasted time back.
I thought he was better than this, he always said he was fine and we were all to damn blind to see that it was a lie.
“Just fucking leave the hell alone Michelle! I told you I'll be back in the morning!” he yelled his face redden in anger. “...I can't do this anymore Brian, I've tired to get you to talk to me, but you just push me away...” Michelle says with tears in her eyes. “What do you want from me?! Huh what the fuck to you want me to say Mich? Please tell me what you want!” she looks Brian right in the eyes and a tear falls, “I want the old Brian back...” she says softly and leaves the house to go stay at her sisters. “Fucking bitch!” Brian yells brokenly and hurries into the kitchen for his stash of JD. “Just make time stop...please?” he asks looking at the bottle in his hand.
I'm tired of watching him kill himself, it's time I do something, but what? I need to let him know I'm here...we're all here and we're not going anywhere.
“Brian...?” John calls out into the house as we all walk in. I look in the living room and sigh, “Did something die in here?” Zack asks his face turning green. “Hope not...” I say and we all head up stairs. The faint sound of crying is heard as we get closer to the rec room. I look back at the guys and they nod their heads as I place my hand on the door handle. “Brian?” I call twisting the door handle to find it unlocked. “Go...a...away.” his voice yells from the other side and I push the door open. There on the floor surrounded in broken bottle and broken dreams is my best friend, my brother....Brian; In the corner with tears running down his face with a death hold on a bottle of Jack.
“Brian dude...” Zack says looking at him in disbelief. “He is way over ripe.” Johnny mutters and Zack elbows him in the ribs. We all walk over, making sure not to step on the broken glass. We take a set around him and sit in silence for a while. “What...d...do you want?” Brian slurs and I shake my head, “Our best friend back...we want our brother back.” I say. “Yeah? Well he's dead! He's fucking six god damn feet under!” he says his eyes now hard, but still lifeless. Zack scoffs, “No he's fucking not, but God damn it he...YOU will be if you keep this up!” Zack says looking at Brain with pleading eyes. “Why let it get this bad...we are here....we are going through the same thing you are...?” Johnny asks clearly hurt.
Brian looks up at him and something wakes up in his eyes, “...You're here...you are here....with...me?” he says more to himself. We all nod our heads, “We're stick with each other no matter what. If you want to deal with Jim's passing okay that's fine do whatever you want, but you will not kill yourself! I'm not going to just sit and watch you kill yourself! I already had to just fucking bury one of my brother's....please Brian don't make me bury you too.” I beg not afraid to let my tears fall as I tell him the truth. “If you kill yourself you'll kill me....you'll kill all of us.” Zack says. “We need you man, if Jim and you are both gone...well then I want to die too.” John says and Brian looks at all of us.
“Who do you care if I die? You've all been doing fine without Jimmy...you all act as though he was never our friend!” Brian yells. “We fucking care! Don't you dare fucking say we aren't hurting cause we all fucking are! You have no right to say that, just because we aren't trying to kill ourselves to see him sooner?!” I scream at him, “Matt...” John says trying to clam me down. “No fuck this! I'm so sick of you and your bullshit Haner! You think cause you knew him longer that you're the only one who lost him?! Well guess what you're not! We all lost him! His family lost him! Leana lost him! The fans lost him! Okay everyone fucking lost him not just you!” I yell and he says nothing at all, he raise the bottle up to his lips and I feel the last of my coolness leave me as I grab the bottle out of Brian's hand and throw in across the room.
“Hey!” he yells standing up. I get to my feet and look down at him, “You listen to me Haner, I fucking care about you! We all do, Michelle is slowly dying without! Your family is falling apart because of your drinking! This friendship is the only thing that is holding up and right now even that is hanging by a thread!” “Then just go! I don't give a flying fuck about anyone! I just want Jimmy back!” Brian cries his voice breaking and his knees give out. I catch him in my arms before he hits the ground. “We all want him back man...but this-” I motion around the room at all the bottles, “Isn't going to bring him back...he's not c-coming back, no matter how hard we wish. He's gone man...he's fucking gone. All we got is each other...I don't want to lose you...I can't fucking lose you man!” I say shaking him a bit in my arms.
“...I...I'm sorry...” he cries truly showing how broken he really is. Zack and John both stand up and wrap their arms around Brian and I. “We'll be through this Bri...we'll find away out of the dark and into the light.” John says. “Yeah man our friendship is stronger then anything...we'll find away past this bump in the road...” Zack says. “...Really?” Brian asks. “Yeah man we'll fight this...me and you.” I tell him and he closes his eyes, “...I'd like that...I'd like that a lot.” he says and rest his head on top of Johnny's. “Um...not that I don't love you and all, and I'm happy that we have gotten you back...but dude you reek!” Johnny says making us all laugh. Brian sniffs his pits and makes a face, “...I'm going to get a shower now...” he says a light blush hitting his checks. “Yeah you do that man, we'll be here cleaning up.” Zack says.
Brian leaves the room and I look at my two friends, “See told you we could make it though this!” I say with a smile on my face. “Yeah...you sure did.” they say and we get to work cleaning up all the broken glass.
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