Confessions to My Past

“If you hurt my family, I swear-“
“What, hm?” Fred asked, bored. “You’re tied to a chair in an abandoned warehouse, just like your brother and his girlfriend. Your little slut is off somewhere hiding, maybe already forgotten you. But we’ll find her, her and your son, and you’ll all die.”
Dean struggled against his restraints, knowing it was useless. “Josie won’t walk into your trap.”
“I think she will. You forget that she isn’t a hunter, Dean. She’s just a girl, and not much of one. She knows how to flutter her eyelashes to get what she wants, but she doesn’t know this life, and she doesn’t know what she’s up against. She’s as helpless in our world as a fish is on land.”
“You wouldn’t be the first to underestimate her, but you’d be the first to walk away alive.” Dean growled between gritted teeth. In truth, he wasn’t sure how tough Josie still was; she’d gone back to living a normal life for four years, longer than she had been a hunter before.
But neither Dean nor Fred calculated in an important factor: How far a mother will go for her child.

*****

I had never been the self-sacrificing type, or any kind of sacrificing, for that matter. For me, it’s always been my comfort that mattered, and I had believed that’s how it would always be. Never would I have thought that being a mother would change me.
But it had. And it made me reckless, too; but with no other way out, I would have to take any one I could get.
“Alright, Nate, you still remember everything I told you?”
My son nodded. “Don’t open the door under any circumstances. If you’re not home tomorrow, call Uncle Bobby.”
My heart broke at leaving him behind, but I had no other choice. I wished there could have been any other way, but every other way included trusting others, and I couldn’t do that, not with an unknown amount of hunters looking for Nate and me.
I kneeled down and pressed Nathaniel against me tightly. “I love you, Nate.”
“I love you, too, Mommy.”
“I’m so proud of you. You’re so brave. Just like your Dad.”
Nate smiled at the comparison, then he asked: “Mommy… do you hunt monsters, too?”
‘Yes,’ I wanted to say. But I had to maintain at least one part of Nate’s life normal. “No, darling. I’m just going to help your Dad and Uncle Sam.” I kissed the top of his head, hugged him again and then locked the hotel room door behind me.
I wiped away the tears and toughened up; my usual defence measure against weakness from within.
I got into the car and drove to the outskirts of Detroit. When I’d talked with Dean two days before, there had been a slight echo on his side, and if he was held capture, I figured it would be somewhere abandoned.
Watching thrillers and the occasional crime series taught me one thing: Showdowns always took place in abandoned factory buildings.
There were three in the rough area of Detroit. The first one had been a bust, and when I arrived at the second one, it was already dark.
‘Great,’ I thought and reached for my gun.
But then I already got jumped from behind.

*****

So far, Dean had been able to get out of any ever so hopeless situation alive.
This time, though, it didn’t look good.
The fact that Cass hadn’t shown up already meant he probably couldn’t. Which in turn meant Josie was entirely alone, with nobody to turn to, with nobody to take care of Nate…
‘I’ve failed.’ Dean realized as his restraints cut into his wrists. ‘I couldn’t protect my family.’
He looked at the ten or so hunters gathered a couple of yards away from him. They had rested their weapons against the wall, their faces were grim and determined. Dean wondered why they didn’t just kill them all now; why wait?
A younger hunter rushed in suddenly, and he and Fred exchanged murmured words. Fred looked over at Dean and smiled maliciously. “Seems our little princess is even less smarter than I thought; she decided to find us all by herself. The bad news for you would be that we already have her in our power.”
Dean just glared at him, burning rage surging through him.
“You ought to get your sources checked.” A safety catch was released and all-too-familiar steps echoed from the walls. “Nobody moves, unless they want a bullet through their brain.”

*****

“Look at what we have here. Winchester’s slut.” A man about forty years old leered at me, and I immediately felt even more uncomfortable. I had to get in that warehouse, quick, but most importantly, I would have to survive.
Which, right now, seemed quite unlikely. Another guy had grabbed me from behind, holding me tightly. I smelled beer and sweat, a smell I hadn’t experienced in several years; it wasn’t something I particularly missed.
The man standing behind me buried his face in my hair, and I could feel his beard scratch my neck. I craned my neck as far as away as I could.
He ran a hand up to my breast.
“You’re a pretty one. And so young. It’ll be a shame wasting you…”
“Hugh, drop it. Fred said to bring her in immediately.” The one before me snapped at the other one, who distanced himself a little from me upon his word. “Where’s your bastard son, woman?”
“First of all, I have a name, so don’t call me ‘woman’.” I spat, drawing courage from unknown reserves. “Second, you will never even come close to hurting my son.”
“I’m afraid I have to oppose.” The one before me grinned widely. “We’ll find him, sweetheart. And we have to kill him. There just is no other way… it’s for the greater good. I’m sure you understand that.”
I had always been a person who couldn’t relate to the term ‘for the greater good’. And now, with my son being the target, I discovered a force and motivation so strong it made me forget my fear and ready to take out any person standing between me and my family.
I brought both my feet up, after having checked whether Hugh’s grip on me was strong enough to hold me up as I did. I kicked the other hunter hard, and he toppled over, dropping his gun.
Hugh released me in surprise, and to get out his gun out as a reflex. But I was faster. I picked up my own weapon from the floor, whirled around and shot him in the leg, then kicked his gun away.
The other hunter had meanwhile started to get up. “Bitch.” He groaned.
“Nice to meet you, my name’s Josie.” I remarked dryly, picked up his gun and drew it over his head, knocking him out cold.
I watched the warehouse’s entrance for a minute, to make sure nobody had heard the shot and came out to check up on these two. Then I quietly slipped inside.

*****

“What the-“ Fred’s mouth fell open.
Dean looked at Josie with a mixture of surprise, worry, fear and relief. She shouldn’t be here… if he had to die, alright; but not her. She had to take care of Nate.
Right now, though, all he really felt was admiration for Josie. The way she looked, one could almost think not one day had passed since she’d been on the road hunting with him and Sam; black jeans, grey tank-top, a gun in each hand, a dead-set expression on her face and eyes ablaze.
Dean grinned with a side-glance at Fred: “I told you, you’ve underestimated the wrong girl.”