Melting a Heart of Ice

Aragorn led what was left of the Fellowship through the woods, away from the river, and to some open terrain. There were no bodies of water around her, and the pain from her gash on her thigh was getting worse. Legolas had noticed her limping a few times, but she had convinced him she was just tired. But now it was starting to be a threatening issue.

“We will stop here for rest. Do not build a fire, we won’t be here for long. Get some sleep.” Aragorn announced. Everyone nodded and sat down, thankful for the chance to stop. After a few minutes though, Legolas and Gimli went off to do some scouting, leaving her and Aragorn alone at their camp.

“Aragorn,” she said awkwardly once she was sure Legolas was far away that he would not hear them. “What is it?” he asked, already knowing that something was wrong.

“When we were fighting the orcs before, trying to get to Boromir, I was cut on my leg. It wasn’t too bad then, so I ignored it. The past day it has been getting worse, and I didn’t want to say anything around Legolas because I know he would worry.

“I was wondering… uhm, if you could look at it, for me?”

“Of course, where is the cut?” he nodded.

She blushed slightly and moved her cloak to reveal the gash across her inner thigh. He nodded and had her lie down so he could treat it. It was getting badly infected, and could pose a threat to her health if it went untreated for any longer. “I have some things in my pack to treat it. You should have told me sooner, this could have killed you Triina.” He sighed as he stood up and went to his bag to retrieve his medical supplies. “I didn’t want you to think I was complaining, and just wanting to rest.” She explained.

“I would have respected that choice more than this.” He frowned as he added some water to the ground herbs, to create a sort of paste. “I need to cut your leggings more, to apply the herbs.”

“Do what you must, as long as it is done before the others return.”

He nodded and ripped the hole over her wound larger before applying some of the herbs over it. She flinched and gasped. Not only did it sting, but also the paste itself was as cold as ice. In short, it probably hurt more to treat the wound than it did to receive it.

To her great dismay, when she opened her eyes again she saw Legolas and Gimli standing a short way behind Aragorn, who hadn’t noticed their return yet. Legolas’ expression was hurt as he stared blankly at her and Aragorn, while Gimli looked crossed between angry and confused. It took her a few minutes to realize what was happening. There she was the woman Legolas was in love with, lying on the ground with her legs apart, with his friend rubbing her thigh.

“Legolas, this isn’t,” she started but he interrupted her.

“No, Triina, I understand. This isn’t what I thought it was; I had mistaken your actions. I’m sorry.” He said, and walked away. His voice held so much pain it brought tears to her eyes. “Legolas, wait!” Aragorn called after him, but the elf ignored him and continued to walk away. “Stay here.” He ordered, and left Triina and Gimli alone in their camp.

“Gimli,” she sighed. “No, lass, I have nothing to say to you.” He grumbled and refused to face her. “Then just listen to me, and allow me to explain. What you saw, it wasn’t… he was treating a wound! I was injured while fighting those orcs.” She explained desperately.

“Then why haven’t ya said anything before?” he questioned, not believing her.

“Because I didn’t want to worry Legolas! He has enough on his mind; I didn’t want my health to be another thing for him to think about. Gimli, I love him. I have been in love with him since the day we met. I would never want to hurt him. Please believe me, this isn’t what you thought it was!” she begged. He huffed and turned away from her, almost able to hear her heart shatter as he did so. Legolas had become a dear friend to him, and as long as he believed that what he and Legolas thought was true, there was no ‘lie’ she could tell to make him forgive her.

Meanwhile Legolas and Aragorn were far from camp. Aragorn was pleading with the elf to listen to him, but with no success. Legolas wanted nothing to do with him anymore; their friendship had come to an end.

“Please, Legolas, I could never see her that way. She is more of a sister in my eyes, and my heart belongs to Arwen.”

“We are a long way from the ones we love, perhaps the distance became too much for you.”

“I swear to you, on all that I hold dear, what you saw was not what you think.”

“Then what was it?”

Aragorn looked away and was silent. He knew that if he told him, he would betray Triina. But if he didn’t, he would lose a very dear friend, and allow two dear friends to live a life of heartache.

“You have no answer? Then I have no reason to stay.”

Aragorn’s eyes snapped back in time to see Legolas walking away, and leaving the Fellowship. “For her!” he yelled, chasing after him, “Stay, for her. If you leave, she will have no reason left to fight; she will die! I know her, Legolas, I know how afraid she was to follow her heart, and allow herself to become close to you. I know how afraid she was that you would reject, and leave her! She has seen too many of our friends fall, she cannot lose you as well, Legolas!” he pleaded “Prove to me she feels this way.” He muttered, still feeling heartbreak and betrayal. “Come back with me, and let her prove it.” He nodded.

When Legolas and Aragorn finally returned to the camp, Gimli was sitting on a rock staring at the horizon, and Triina was nowhere to be found. “Where is she?” Aragorn demanded. Gimli grunted and pointed down the hill, where she was lying on the ground, wrapped in her cloak. He sighed and left the elf and dwarf to try and bring her back as well.

As he got close to her, he heard her quiet sobbing. “Triina,” he spoke cautiously. “Leave, me,” she gasped through her sobs. “No.” he stated simply and sat at her side, watching her as she cried. “Lord Elrond told me… I was to go n-no, farther… than my own, choosing.” She whispered tearfully, once she had calmed down slightly. “Is this your decision then, to abandon us all and leave him?” he asked.

“He has already left!” she cried, raising her voice enough for Legolas and Gimli to hear from the top of the hill. Legolas cringed at the sound of her voice and stood up to see her better. She looked nothing like herself. “Turn around, Triina.” Aragorn sighed. She did as he asked and made eye contact with Legolas, but only for a second before he turned away and went back to where he was sitting.

“He’s come back for you to prove to him, that you love him; don’t let his fears become real, Triina.”

She took a deep breath and looked up to the sky as the stars glittered now above her. “He could never love me, Aragorn.”

“He already does. Now will you stay here, and abandon not only Legolas, Gimli, and myself, but Merry and Pippin also, or will you rejoin the Fellowship, and fight?”

“For what?”

“Merry and Pippin, Frodo, Sam, the Ring, love, Legolas, your people… what you fight for is your choice.” He answered and stood up. She watched him blankly as he walked back up to the other two and left her alone to make her decision.

They were just about to leave again when Triina slowly walked up the hill. Legolas watched her, but refused to meet her gaze. Gimli was unable to look at her at all, and seemed very sad, and Aragorn said nothing to her as she approached them. “I would like to honor my dedication to the Fellowship, if you will still have me.” She announced quietly, fearing rejection. Aragorn smiled and nodded to her, and led them all away, following Merry and Pippin’s trail.

Days passed, and they hadn’t stopped for more than a minute or two at a time since he treated her leg. He said they had lost too much time from that event, and had to make up for it. Trinna’s eyes hadn’t met Legolas’ since either, and it was killing her. Gimli had said a few things to her here and there, but wasn’t sure what he believed. Was what he saw was a misunderstanding, and what had happened between she and Aragorn was completely innocent? Or was it exactly what they thought it was, and they were lying to cover it up after being caught in the act. That hurt her also.

Currently they were taking a break to catch their breath, and have something to eat before running again. Legolas sat far away from Triina, beside Gimli, Aragorn sat away from them, and she sat alone. Although the four of them were together, she felt there was no Fellowship left; that had been disbanded days ago when Legolas tried to leave.

She held the arrowhead he had given her so tightly in her hand that it cut into her skin, sending a few droplets of blood to slide down her arm and drip into the dirt. There was another story that came to her mind about an Elf and Til’Arin falling in love. That one too ended in pain. Hers would be told one day too, she thought, and it would be the proof that Elves and Til’Arin weren’t meant to be in love.

Tears ran down her face, and joined the droplets of blood in the dirt as she thought about Legolas as if he were no longer with her. Then again, he wasn’t. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Sorrow overwhelmed her as she recounted their journey. They left Rivendell with eleven, Merry, Pippin, Gandalf, Aragorn, her, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Sam, Frodo, and Lyle. They were happy for most of the beginning. Laughing, joking, and learning from one another.

Then in the Mines Lyle was crushed to death, and Gandalf was pulled into shadow. Only days after, Boromir was killed by the Uruk-hai, Frodo left the Fellowship to destroy the ring on his own, Sam followed him, and Merry and Pippin were taken; All in one day. And now, what was left of the Fellowship has been broken. Legolas couldn’t look at her or Aragorn, Gimli didn’t know whom to trust, Aragorn had distanced himself, and she was left alone in all of this. Before Legolas would have been there to comfort her, hold her, tell her that everything would be all right, but there was no comfort to be offered from him now; even his arrowhead couldn’t point her way.

“Where are you going?” Aragorn asked as she stood up and walked away from them. “We need to keep searching for the hobbits; I can’t lose another friend, Aragorn.” She answered painfully. He nodded and signaled for the others to leave as well before going back to tracking.

Three days more passed, without any rest. No food either. Three days more passed and still the Fellowship was nonexistent. There was no remedy for these broken friendships. Legolas still hadn’t looked Triina in the eyes. She could feel from his emotions that he was in as much pain as she was in, but she felt it was harder on her because she was what had caused him such pain.

Gimli confused her, though. Most likely because he himself was confused. He wanted to believe her, and forgive her, and know that the Fellowship was still intact. But he couldn’t, because she had hurt his friend with a wound deeper than any he had been dealt before, and for that he wanted nothing to do with her; because of this he couldn’t decide what he felt. Due to this, he hadn’t said more than a few words to her in that time and it was only because they were necessary.

Aragorn hadn’t said much to anyone other than to announce a change of direction, or a short break to catch their breath. But Triina hadn’t said anything. Secretly, she wanted to ask Legolas to take back the arrowhead he had given her, reattach it to its shaft, and fire it into her heart. At least then he would end both of their suffering. He would no longer have her there to cause him pain, and she would no longer be alive to feel it.

They had been running since sunrise, without a chance to rest. She still clutched the arrowhead in her hand, drawing fresh blood whenever her hand would scab over. All hope was leaving her as she watched the blonde elf walk ahead of her. That was really all she got to see of him these past days, his back as it had been turned on her. She felt colder than usual, and not because she needed rest. This was a different sort of cold, that she had never felt before; it felt the way she would imagine death to feel, should it come slowly. The realization came to her then… perhaps elves weren’t the only ones who could die from heartache.

“Triina,” Gimli said softly; she hadn’t even noticed that he had fallen back to walk beside her. Her heart leapt at the fact he would even say her name now. “Yes, Gimli?” she replied, shocked that her voice sounded so weak; even when Legolas first found her, her voice held more strength than it did now. “Your hand’s bleeding.” He pointed out.

“I know this, but thank you.”

He sighed and once again looked away from her as they walked. Silence filled the air once more, and her focus fell on the pain in her hand as she once again let it cut into her hand; if Legolas could give her nothing else now, his arrowhead could at least give her a scar reminder of him.

After a while Aragorn stopped to try and gage the distance between them, and Merry and Pippin, by listening through the ground. She had no idea how this could work, but she was anything but a skilled tracker.

Gimli watched her as she watched Legolas, watching Aragorn. She glanced down at the arrowhead in her hand, and back at the elf. She then threw it to the ground; it pointed directly to him. Gimli sighed and picked it up for her. “Every time, it has pointed to him. I’ve done this three times now, Gimli, and always it points to him. As if the fates are mocking me.” She muttered tearfully as he handed it to her.

It was then that near unbearable shame came down on him with a great force. It was nearly impossible to look at her, suddenly. These past days he had been wrong, and he knew it now. Triina had done nothing to deserve the punishment she had been put through. She was innocent, as was Aragorn; he and Legolas were mistaken in their assumption. He was about to say something to her, but was interrupted by Aragorn.

“Their pace has quickened; they must have caught our scent. Hurry!” he announced, and ran off. “Come on, Gimli!” Legolas shouted before following, for the sake of the hobbits. He could care less if Triina followed or stayed behind, and it was quite obvious. She swallowed hard and followed the dwarf as he ran after the other two Fellowship members… if they could still be called that. Gimli felt terrible for the torture she was being put through, and could see the toll it was taking on her; it was literally killing her, and he could think of nothing to save her. There was no apology he could give, to make up for what he had done, and only Legolas could cure the illness that was falling over this Til’Arin woman.

“Three day's and night's pursuit… no food, no rest, and no sign of our quarry but what bare rock can tell.” He tried to joke, but try as she might her face could not form a smile. “I’m sorry, Lass.” He sighed, casting his eyes to the ground.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Gimli.”

“Aye, I do. All this time, you’ve been telling the truth and this dwarf has been too ignorant to see it! I’ve done ya a terrible wrong… there’s nothing I can do to repay you for it.”

“You have nothing to repay; it was my mistake that caused this. Though, I do have something to ask of you, Gimli,”

“Anything.”

“Can you forgive me?”

“Aye, though I’m not sure what I’m forgiving ya for. You’re a strange one, Lass… asking forgiveness for a thing you haven’t done.”

She smiled, a real smile, and even laughed a little. “Now hurry, before we’re left behind!” he added, realizing how far behind they had fallen.

They caught up to Aragorn and Legolas, only because Aragorn had stopped to pick something up, a leaf broach from one of the hobbits’ cloaks. “Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall.” He said while examining it. “They may yet be alive,” Triina breathed excitedly, though her voice was still weak, and that struck great concern into Aragorn’s heart, as well as Legolas’. Though Legolas refused to show it. “Less than a day ahead of us, come!” Aragorn nodded, and ran off again.

“Come, Gimli, we’re gaining on them!” Legolas shouted as he followed. “Ah, he forgets to mention the fair maiden he holds so dear… strange for an elf, wouldn’t you say?” he joked as he and Triina followed him. “He isn’t forgetful. He has an incredible memory, actually.” She stated. “Oh? And of what does he remember?” he asked with a raised brow. “Everything.” She chuckled, remembering their conversation in Lothlórien “I will have to see about that.” He huffed.

They ran quite a way after that in silence. Triina still drew blood with the arrowhead in her hand, and Gimli was tempted to pry it from her fingers to prevent her from harming herself any farther. It was bad enough she was becoming so weak, and falling ill; though she was trying to hide, or ignore it. He wasn’t sure which.

They stopped atop a high hill, overlooking everything ahead of them. Triina could no longer stand, and had to sit and recover her breath. Aragorn and Legolas were speaking, which was a wonderful sight, even if she had no idea what they were saying to one another. Once again, she was too tired to focus on words, and at this particular moment, she couldn’t focus on emotions either. She could only hope that things were improving, and their friendship was reforming. She could survive if Legolas never forgave her, but she wouldn’t live with herself if she cost Aragorn his dearest friend.