I Never Thought I'd Be Stuck in This Mess

Bree's pov

Taking a deep breath, I stared at the sink before slowly smiling. Tonight was the night, I loved Zack and he loved me and I needed to tell him. I straightened my dress as Adam walked in asking if I needed any help.

I shook my head before walking out and announcing dinner was ready. I looked around for Brian to tell him that tonight was the night, I spotted him and started towards him only to realize who he was talking to.

"Oh Amara," I greeted happily giving her a hug.

Pointing her in the direction of the downstairs bedroom I turned to Brian before smiling happily. "Tonight is the night!"

Brian's eyes went wide, "seriously?"

"Ya, I need to tell Zacky. He deserves to know because he's not like the others, tonight is going to go perfectly."

Brian chuckled before pulling me over to the table sitting me between him and Zacky. Amara took her seat across from me between Matt and Adam. Zack started grace before passing around the food.

"Zacky I n-" I stared grabbing Brian's hand hoping it would give me some sense of courage.

"Not here Bree," Zacky hissed his green eyes narrowing.

I glanced at Brian who nodded at me, "Zacky this can't really wait."

"Well it has to, god you just never care what I want."

"Zack! I always care what you want, I lo-"

"You don’t care at all. And as much as I’d like to stay with you… We need to take a break. I need a break,” Zacky stated in a slightly broken tone.

I bit back my tears before excusing myself not meeting anyone gaze as I ran up to my room. I laid on the bed staring the ceiling trying not completely break down as a felt a few tears fell. I know I went through this before but that didn't stop the pain, and somehow this hurt more then before.

"Hey Bree," I heard someone call softly.

"Hi Amara," I replied in a quiet tone not trusting my voice. "You should get back. I’m fine, really.”

I glanced at Amara who sat next to me while I forced myself to sit up. “I really should have seen it coming. My relationships never last. I’m just scared.”

“You scared? Now I’m worried. So what’s going on that has Zacky freaking out enough to break up with the best girl he’s dated in a long time? I may not always agree with your methods, but you are the best girl he’s dated in awhile. And I haven’t seen him this happy with any of his past girlfriends.”

“You’re kidding right?” I asked in shock before glancing outside. Usually the sunset on Christmas Eve was one of my favorite times of the year but now it was one of the worst. “I feel like I fucked up royally."

“I’m sure he’ll clear his head and come to his senses. He’ll probably be up here soon knocking on the door to apologize and beg for you back,” Amara told me rubbing my back lightly.

“I really don’t think so this time. He said I love you and all I did was stand there like a moron…By the time my mouth finally moved he was in the other room. He ignored me the rest of the day,” I bit my lip trying not to cry again. “I would have said it back… But every time I’ve said it back… I ended up hurt, cheated on, or left at the alter.”

Amara frowned before pulling me into a hug, “Zacky wouldn’t do that to you. He’s not that kind of guy… You really need to stop clumping every guy into the category that your past exes fall into."

“It’s hard to do, but I’ll try.”

“So what else is bothering you?” Amara asked cautiously. “I’m not stupid ya know."

“I um… I’m…Late,” I muttered quietly admitting it out loud for the first time.

“And?”

I nodded looking back outside remembering the test hidden in my drawer. Amara sighed before rubbing my back again causing me to glance at her.

“You need to figure everything out. Stay calm. And most importantly, even if you and Zacky don’t get back together… You at least have to tell him."

“What if… if he doesn’t care… What if he doesn’t want to help?”

“Then you have options. If he doesn’t care, and you don’t think you’re ready… There is always adoption.”

I wiped a tear before telling Amara I needed a minute to myself, she nodded understanding and slipped out of the room. Staring at my phone I debated my options before grabbing my phone and sending a text out. I smiled feeling somewhat relieved and I wiped the last of my tears before standing up to leave.

"Bree," Zacky stated flatly as he walked into the room.

"Zack."

"Bree why are you even in this relationship?"

"What do you mean? I'm here because I care for you."

"No you don't. If it wasn't for your bank account I'd call you a gold digger, so maybe you're just a groupie. Maybe you just don't want to be alone."

I paused not knowing where this was coming from, "Zack I'm not with you because you're a rock star."

"Bree do you even want to be in this relationship? I mean I realize relationships are games of give and take but it seems only I'm giving while you're taking."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like! I gave up hanging with my friends because you don't get along with Brian or Matt. I gave up my house because you wouldn't sell yours. I give up everything for you and do I get in return? Nothing." Zack sneered back at me not even glancing at me.

"Zack I-"

"And I thought I was okay with that because in return I thought eventually you'd realize you how much you love me and get over your irrational fear and tell me."

I bit my lip trying not to lash out, "irrational? Irrational? My fear isn't irrational, and by the way I give up plenty of things of this to work."

"Really like what?"

"Like the fucking Rise Against tour, they've been inviting me on the the past 3 tours but they always were on your breaks so I turned them down! I turned down fucking Rise Against. And I never regretted it."

"Bree -"

"No." I grabbed the stick from my drawer handing it to Zack. "I gave up tours forever, I just texted my label that I'm done with tours. If that doesn't say something then I don't know what does."

Zacky bit his lip shaking his head, "Bree I want to be there for you and the baby but they doesn't change things. Our relationship isn't going somewhere, we .. I need a break."

"But I love you Zack! And I don't know what else to do."

Zack shook his head before sighing, "no you don't Bree. You're only saying this because I said I need a break."

I shook my head before heading to my closet, grabbed a bag, and started throwing clothes into in.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving, if you need me I'll have my phone." I told him grabbing a random jacket and running out of the room and down the stairs into the living room.

“I can see why she moved away.” I heard someone say coldly.

Ignoring the seemingly new voice I walked to the front door quickly kicking off my heels and slipping on my converse.

"Hey what's going on?" Brian asked coming up behind me.

I smiled sadly tying my shoe, "he broke up with and I don't know what I'm gonna do."

Brian glanced from me to the stairs and back before pulling me into a hug, "it's okay you're gonna be fine. He'll calm down and you guys will be fine."

"Maybe," I shrugged "or maybe he's right. I'm a cold heartless bitch that doesn't deserve love and this is my punishment. Either way, I can't be here any longer so thank you for being there with me but I can't be here any longer."

And with that I ran out of the door and jumped into my car, as the house slowly faded from my rear view mirror I felt a tear slip down my cheek.