There's No Turning Back

I stood there and stared at the gravestone in front of me, re-reading the words engraved in the hard stone, over and over again. How could this have all been true and escape from me all so easily? Knowing what I've discovered today, I didn't think it'd be possible for me to forget in the first place.

I felt a hand being laid on the side of my hip, and pulled me close against their body. I looked up at David, who was gazing down at me- eyes filled with concern. "You okay?" he questioned and I nodded, looking back down at the space in front of me. "Are you sure?" he asked again and I nodded ferociously- the way you would when you're irritated about an over asked question.

I pulled away from him, stepping a few steps back in a manner of wanting to leave. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and raised my shoulders, looking at him, "I'm fine," I looked away and my eyes shot back down to the grave, "I said I'd relax once I see this and now that I have, I'll start relaxing." I tried my best to lie, making the best eye contact that I could.

He turned his head to the side slightly, still looking straight forward at me, skeptical. But nonetheless, he decided not to say anything else. He looked down and stepped towards me, heading past me to get back to the car; his lips were pressed into a firm, thin line to the side as he concentrated on keeping his expression light of emotions. I followed soon after him, looking around me as we crossed the many rows to the parking lot.

What else was I supposed to do? I don't think that it's fair to make David suffer and go through this... again. Cheyenne is gone forever, so why dwell on the past? I should move on.

What kind of a mother am I? I shouldn't act like this is nothing - my daughter, someone who's a part of me, is gone and I'll never get to see her face again; I shouldn't act as though this isn't important and it makes no big difference in my life. A part of me is forever missing.

How can David think and expect for me to relax and not stress over this? How can he imagine that I'll be calm and forget about this whole thing? He can think that at some point I've moved on, but deep down, I know that I'll never will, no matter how long the time is. No one can ever forget such a thing; it's impossible.

It's a scar that's embedded deep in our hearts.

+[[ Third P.O.V. ]]+

David glanced over at Lianne from time to time as he drove down the busy streets, towards a nearby Baskin Robins. (The day was still bright out, so he thought that there was nothing better to do than to spend the rest of the day with his family.) She stared out the front window at the cars ahead of her, as still as a statue. She didn't blink, and she didn't move; he wasn't sure if she was even breathing correctly. Her face was blank.

He knew she had been spacing out for quite sometime, and there wasn't much he could do to get her to start talking. Yet, he hesitated on what to say, fearing that if he said one wrong thing, she'd break apart. The most she would say to him were merely a few words that responded to his questions.

You've done this once, you can do it again.

David took a turn around one corner and switched the car gear into park in front of the ice cream store - the 31 flavoured ice cream store as many liked to call it. Annie squealed with delight in the backseat, clapping her hands as she quickly tried to unfasten the seatbelt of her booster seat.

David twisted around in the driver's seat to look back at her, a small grin on his face, "Hold on baby, I'll come around to get you." he chuckled, and turned back around. His hand rested on the car's door handle and pushed the door open, stopping halfway to take a glance back at Lianne.

Her hands were on the seat buckle, slowly unbuckling them in an effortless manner. Her hands rested on the door handle and she pushed the door open, heavily getting out. He sighed and got out himself, re-entering a moment later in the back seat.

Annie skipped alongside with David down the sidewalk, their arms swinging as they held hands. Lianne walked behind them, trying to keep up her pace. David pulled the glass door open and allowed Annie to go inside; he stayed and held the door open, waiting for Lianne to walk in.

"What do you want?" he asked her, laying a hand on the small of her back as they stood in line, waiting for their turn to order. Annie held onto her hand as she struggled to see what kind of flavours she could get.

Lianne shrugged, "Just vanilla." she answered lowly - so low, that David had to strain himself to hear. He nodded and moved up in the line, ordering what the three of them wanted.

Once getting their frozen treats, they went over to a table and sat down. Annie started licking away at her ice cream cone, and David joked around with her. He took a lick from his chocolate yogurt cone and glanced out the window from time to time. Lianne sat by idly, carefully scooping spoonfuls of vanilla yogurt into her mouth; she quietly stared out the window with David.

David glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes; he thought about making conversation with her, but decided in the end that it was useless. All he would get was an effortless answer - monotonous and dead. It wouldn't provide him with much information.

He wished that there was something he could do - he wished he knew what he could do to help. He didn't like having this Lianne around; he had dealt with her once, and he wasn't too fond of it.

The very thought of going through it again made him reconsider the choice of spending the rest of his life with her, the thought of bringing another human being into the world with her.