There's No Turning Back

|| Lianne's P.O.V. ||

I can't really recall what happened back at Baskin Robins; it all flashed by in a blur. All I remembered was the fact that I sat in my seat, idly eating my frozen yogurt and observing the life that surrounded the store on the outside. I felt oddly at peace and over calmed with serenity, nearly numb of all physical senses; what seemed like minutes, seemed to turn into an hour or so.

Before I knew it, David abruptly stood up, his chair scratching against the tiled floor so loudly that instantly, I was knocked out of my trance and my head whipped over in his direction. It was unusual of him; all his movements seemed harsh and rushed, no longer calm, gentle, and graceful like how they previously were- when we were still back at the cemetery.

His expression was like an empty canvas, though his eyebrows were slightly furrowed together. It was a look that I rarely saw, one that didn't fit him.

He collected his and Annie's trash, and went to throw it away into the big trash can. He came back a moment later and took a hold of Annie's hand, who held a sullen expression filled with grief. He glanced over at me, signaling for me to get up with his head, before heading towards the door.

I got up and threw my trash away, following after him. I fell only a few paces behind, tagging along slowly. I found my hands wandering down towards the small bump on my stomach, rubbing it. I didn't feel like another human was developing inside of me, unlike how I felt when I was pregnant with Cheyenne and Annie.

I thoughts about it were out of my mind; having no memory of such a thing, or how it came to happen, made it seem unreal. It was like David was lying to me - that, I'm not really carrying another baby. That, I just have the small bump from, possibly, devouring many large meals.

I sat still in the passenger's seat, listening quietly as David spoke to Annie while buckling her into her booster seat. He got out and went around the car, getting into the driver's seat a moment later; he slammed the door shut and immediately started the engine. He drove quickly, trying to beat traffic.

The silence was unusual, unbearable, and uncomfortable. It was like something I've never felt before around him. I made an attempt to make conversation, but I knew that it would be of no use.

"David, what's wrong?" I looked over at him and saw him shrug, not bothering to look over. I tried uselessly to call out to him, "David?" but it was as though he didn't hear me. We arrived home quickly and he went straight inside, leaving me to bring Annie in. She ran after him and into the house.

When I entered, I heard a door slam, and looked over to see our bedroom door- which I left open before we left earlier -closed. I was about to knock on the door, when I heard soft talking on the other side- most likely, he was on the phone. I decided to leave him alone and go sit in the kitchen.

It felt as though he didn't want to talk to me.

[[ The Next Day ]]

The bed was empty the next morning when I woke up, and I sighed, letting my body sink into the soft mattress below me. It was an awkward sleep last night; it was awkward to lie in the same bed as David and try to sleep in the silence. Though he was asleep next to me, it still felt strange.

I felt relief to find that I woke up the next morning, alone.

I got myself out of bed and went to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower. I went out into the living room, hearing the television on. I was slightly startled to see his mother sitting on the couch, Annie next to her with a bowl of cereal in her lap.

"Hello." I greeted her and noted that David wasn't around, "Where's David?"

"Oh," she sighed lightly, "He went out."

"Already?" I asked and she nodded, before turning off the television which was turned to the cooking channel.

"He's heart broken Lianne." her expression was tortured and filled with sorrow. There were tears in her eyes, and that brought up my concern, "He's really upset."

"Where'd he go?" I questioned her lightly, and she shrugged.

"He said something about going over to Chuck's and then somewhere quiet."

I hesitated for a moment, "Do you know what's wrong with him?" I sat down on the arm rest next to her, "He hasn't spoken to me since yesterday afternoon..." Her eyes wandered around the living room, seeming uneasy. I sighed, "I want the whole truth; don't worry about hurting me." I told her as her eyes finally came in contact with mine.

She turned over to Annie, "Why don't you go to your room and play? Grandma and mommy have to talk." she suggested and Annie nodded, getting up to put her bowl into the sink before she ran to her room. "Lianne," she scooted over on the couch and patted for me to sit down properly next to her. I slid down into the seat and turned my body to face her, pulling my legs up underneath me.

"He's getting second thoughts about you." she said and I shot her a look, my brows pulling up in puzzlement.

"Second thoughts?" I carefully asked and she nodded, "About being with me? Did I do something wrong?" I rushed the questions out, not feeling panic but wanting answers to my desperate questions.

She shook her head, "I don't think it's you personally..." she searched through her memory for any details that may be helpful. I knew it was her who he spoke to on the phone after we got home yesterday, "I think it's just the thought of going through what happened to you when Cheyenne passed away again was too much for him."

"Going through it again? But I'm already getting over it; I was just re-thinking things through yesterday..." I trailed off.

Was he angry with me because I zoned out a lot yesterday? Did he think I was going to become unsocial?

She shrugged again, "Whatever it was that happened, I think you should talk to him." she laid a hand on my arm, "Explain whatever it was that was running through your mind yesterday and make it clear to him before he makes up his mind..." her sentence lingered on and I knew what was hanging at the end of it.

It was either tell him today and make him believe me, keep my promise to him or let him think what he wants which would most likely lead up to separation. Things are just brilliant.