There's No Turning Back

I glanced around at everyone and they all seem to be staring at the door. Taking in a deep breath, I walked over to it. I looked out of the little hole made in the door, allowing me to view who was outside and standing there, is my mother, dressed in a casual knee length white dress with some high heels.

I laid my hand shakily on the doorknob and drew in another deep, shakey breath, before opening the door slightly. "Hello mother." I curtly said, stepping aside for her to come in.

"Lianne!" she embraced me in a hug in which I hesitantly returned to her. "This is such a nice place you have." she commented, inviting herself in and heading towards the living room.

I walked behind her, glaring at the back of her head. I know that this isn't a really 'nice place' to her. It's no where near her Good Home Expectations. When we walked into the living room and I walked to the center, standing next to Sebastian.

"Oh why, you have such lovely friends over." she said, looking around. I can tell that she was trying to hide her unpleased expression.

"Umm..well yeah. Sebastian thought it'd be nice to invite them over too."

"Sebastian?"

"Yeah.." I said slowly, pointing to the guy next to me and she gasped.

"Sebastian! I hardly even recognized you!" she pulled him into another unwanted hug. "Oh and is this little Cheyenne?" she asked me as she looked admiringly at her.

"Hey grandma." Cheyenne said shyly, returning the embrace Mother had given her.

"And who is this little darling?" she asked, kneeling down infront of Annie.

"That's Annie, you're granddaughter." I told her and she looked at me in disbelief.

"How come I didn't know?"

"'Cause I tried telling you but you wouldn't listen." I rolled my eyes and glanced around at the other people. Everyone looked a bit uneasy and Sebastian noticed too.

"Why don't we get started on dinner?" he suggested and everyone nodded a little too eagerly, heading to where the dinner table is.

Sebastian and I went into the kitchen to serve dinner. Soup, salad, and spaghetti were all placed on the table as I got everyone a glass of water - or champaigne for some.

I got seated in the middle on the end, with Sebastian and Mother on either side of me. Patrick was on the end, Pierre next to Sebastian and David next to him. Cheyenne was next to Chuck (which gave her some company to talk to) who was next to Patrick and Annie sat next to Mother.

"The food looks scrumptious." Mother commented, looking at me but I shrugged a bit, pointing over to Sebastian.

"He made it. Now me."

"Oh really?" she sounded surprised. "Your mother should be proud to have a boy who can cook." she commented at him as he nodded and thanked her.

Everyone dug in, eating and stuffing their faces in the food and talked amongst themselves to others that were on the table. I sat quiet, listening into conversations which ranged from Annie talking beamingly at her grandmother, Pierre and David getting into some kind of argument, and hearing Cheyenne yell out "ew maybe!" to Chuck. The rest of his and her conversation were spoken in whispers which makes me not necessarily want to know what it was about.

Mother talked to everyone in a sense that she thinks that everyone enjoyed her presence; it was expected though. They played off their roll of nodding and replying to her, well.

Dinner was very uneventful - to me at least. I can honestly said I've had a better time with other unwanted guests besides her. After all the food was finished and all that was left was people sitting back and continued on with their talks, I volunteered to clean everything up.

No one paid attention so I just proceeded onto getting up and taking plates into the kitchen. Patrick soon joined me though and we had a very interesting discussion throughout the washing and drying process.

I learned that it'll be quite a fun experience going on tour with Simple Plan for a week or two. He told me that their were always pranks, silly antics, competitions, and randomness (especially with David's ADHD) on the tour -- especially on the bus.

I got to know Patrick a lot more too as he learned more about me also. He's quite a pretty cool guy; good to have around. Oh and you won't even have to worry about not catching a funny moment on tape; he'll have that covered, most of the time.

"So you really hate her eh?" he asked as he put away the last dish.

"I prefer 'dislike'." I told him, leaning against the counter and facing him.

"And why's that?"

"Well, I hate her for doing what she had done and said to me but after all, she's my mom. She brought me into this world -- I can't hate her for that. And I kind of missed having her around and all, you know?" I shrugged and looked down at my foot.

"I understand. I guess I'd feel the same too if my mom did that to me." he said.

"It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who thinks -- or would think that." I laughed slightly.

"Yeah."

"You're pretty cool Pat." I told him. Sometimes I'm a straight forward person okay? "Sebastian had told me a lot about you guys and I'll say this, you guys are way better in person." I laughed and grabbed a soda out of the fridge.

"Really? Aww, remind me to thank him later." he joked, giving me a thumbs up. "Believe it or not, he's told us a lot about you too."

"Really? Aww, remind me to give him a kiss later." I mocked him, jokingly.

He laughed outloud, maybe a bit too loudly. "Lets head out."

I nodded in agreement and we both walked out of the kitchen to find that the people that were once at the dinner table had migrated to the living room, watching whatever that was on the television at this time.

"Where's my mom?" I asked them and a few of them turned their heads towards me as the others absentmindedly mumbled some answers, still keeping their eyes on the television screen.

"She went to the 'ladies room'." Sebastian answered me clearly, using his fingers for quotation marks.

So typical of Mother to use formal, appropriate language.

I nodded, leaving them at peace with their oh so precious tv and headed towards my room. I went in and cleaned up a bit of my work that had been sprawled all over the floor, to make it easier for me to move around the room.

I heard a knock on my door and I looked towards the doorway. Mother peeked her head in with a smile but I ignored it, walking over to my vanity desk and pretending to fix and re-organize my cosmetics. I heard her sigh and walk in anyways, her high heels brushing against my carpet floor; and sat on my bed.

"Lianne." I heard her call me softly, and I looked into the mirror, seeing that she was looking at me. I stared back at her reflection in the mirror.

"Mother." I answered bluntly and my attention went back down to the vanity's table top.

She sighed again. "Is there something wrong honey?" I could hear the unreal kindness in her voice.

I frowned a bit and shook my head. "No, nothing's wrong Mother." I replied to her, sarcasm dripping off every single word.

"What's going through your mind dear?" she asked again, standing up and walking over me, laying her hand on my shoulder as she looked at me through the mirror. I saw some resemblance of her in me and I sighed, walking away and over to my bed, sitting down on it and leaning back against my pillows.

"It's nothing." I told her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I reassured her by putting on a smile before laying down on my side, horizontally of the bed.

"Tell me." she said sternly as she sat down infront of me, looking dead straight into my eyes. I shook my head stubbornly but she continued staring me down. She knew that I would break soon.

"Fine." I groaned and sat up straight. "It's just that-after everything that's happened -- you kicking me out and disowning me, you still come and invite yourself over to dinner as though nothing had happened." I paused and glanced up at her but she her face was unemotional. "Y--"

"I came by to check on how you were doing."

"I'm doing just fine on my own mom." I sighed. "You know how much it hurts me right now? To just think about everything - including tonight? Sebastian, Cheyenne and Annie are all that I have left." I said to her and continued on. "I don't even have my parents anymore. Not even one of them." I said directly to her, not caring if she was one of the parents. She needed to know and she asked to know.

Her face fell for a moment but regained her expressionless countenance. "Is that how you really feel?"

"For the last time, yes!" I raised by voice a bit and stood up, standing against the wall. She smiled smally and stood up, walking out the door as I watched her go, confused and feeling even more hurt. I have no clue as to what was happening or what was the point of her even coming in.

I took a grab at my hair and let out a little angry growl. I walked a quick pace out into the living room, causing little stomps on the ground. When I got out to the living room, the only people there was Sebastian, David, Patrick, and Chuck.

"Where'd she go?" I asked quietly.

"She went home."

"Are you kidding me!?" I screeched and my hand automatically went up to grab my hair again. I turned around and went back into my room, resisting the urge to slam the door and to scream into the pillow.

Instead, I took a few calming, deep breathes, laying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling.

I heard my door open and I opened my eyes from it's closed state, turning my head towards the door.

"Hey sweetie."

Cheyenne walked in, smiling and laid in bed next to me, propping upright on her elbow and her head on the palm of her hands. "So.." she started, looking around and shrugging hr shoulders. "Are you okay?" she asked hesitantly and I softly smiled at her.

"Yeah."

"Will we see her again?"

"I don't want to, but we will if you want to." There's no way that you can cut your daughter away from her grandmother just because of something that's happened between you and your own mother.

She nodded and laid fully down, her face buried in my sheets and her hair all around her face. It reminded me of when I was younger; I'd come home from school, tired, and plop down on my bed, falling asleep in the position.

"Did you have a good night?" I asked her and she answered, her voice muffled by the mattress.

"It was fun talking to Chuck."

"Good listener?"

"Very."

"You know them better than me. How are they really?" I asked her, now propping up on my own elbow as she did the same.

"Well, I told you Chuck already. He's very calm unlike the others." she laughed a bit. "You know uncle Sebby." I snorted a bit at the childhood nickname I used to call him by. "Pierre is very...he's on the wild side. Jeff is crazy. I'm sure you already know how Patrick is most likely like. And David..." she trailed off a bit.

"And David what?" I rolled my eyes.

"He's beyond crazy. I'm telling you mom, if you and him ever..." she made some gibberish words, mumbling them and moving her hand around to get a clear message across to me. "then you have some trouble on your hand."

I started laughing hard. "Ew I don't think so. But thanks for the fair warning." She rolled her eyes and laughed along with me as I took one of my pillows and threw it at her. "Go to bed. I don't need you here." I jokingly said, kicking her off the bed as she made the 'humph' noise and turned on her heels, walking out.

What a drama queen.

After Cheyenne went out and I took one final shower, I laid in bed and watched the tv for a bit before turning it off and laying in the silence, thinking to myself.

The tour is coming up in a few days or weeks - like I can remember. And the last comment that Cheyenne had said got me thinking. Does she know that it'll happen? Is it even possible?

Without any further thoughts, I fell into a deep slumber, resting and trying to rid my brain of mother's unwanted visit. What a night this had turned out to be.