Thrill of the Fall

Astin Caignon. It was a name that rolled off the tongue of the student body at least once a day. Rumors spread like wildfire and no one was spared. Truth had no relevance; if it was dirty enough to shatter someone’s reputation, it was worth passing along. Some people were strong enough to build up a tolerance to such things. For Astin, acting like people weren’t talking about her as soon as she turned her back wasn’t possible. She was pretty and came from a well-off family: the two things that automatically enrolled someone into the category of people it was okay to talk about. It was rare that someone defended her because no one ever got close enough to know what was true and what wasn’t. For all they knew, she really was a cocaine addict (which explained why she was so skinny) who got expelled from her last high school for sleeping with her science teacher (which explained how she passed her AP Bio exams without even having to study). Two real friends was all she had to get her through the torturous experience otherwise known as high school.

Evelyn Beck. In your face and obnoxious were two phrases commonly associated with the only girl Astin ever associated with. Whether it was because she’d slept with more guys than pi had numbers and therefore preferred their company over females or because Evie was the only girl who didn’t spread vicious rumors about her, no one knew Astin like she did. Not even she was exempt from the drama that seemingly rode on Astin’s back, but she possessed the ability to ignore it unlike her friend. Most of the time Evie would intimidate her way out of a conflict. She’d been in more physical altercations than Astin could ever dream of and had the permanent record to prove it. Even though she had both a tough interior and exterior, Astin rarely saw it when it came to their friendship. A phone call was all it took for Evelyn to be by her side to comfort her and she never spoke a word of Astin’s deepest secrets. She was a confidant, a genuine friend and good person, but drove others away with her unruly personality.

Alexander Lawson. He was a prime example of those driven away by Evelyn. The exact opposite of her, he was shy and never spoke a bad word about anyone. He preferred a quiet night in with his acoustic guitar or a science fiction novel over the wild parties Evie loved so dearly. Neither popular or unpopular, he was a social chameleon. While he didn’t like interacting with the follow members of his high school class, he didn’t detest them so much he was outright rude without a proper reason. Even then he’d simply ignore them, leaving them to live their lives free of his judgment. He owned the shoulder Astin so frequently cried on and was always the one to put a smile on her face afterwards.

Astin was so popular because everyone wanted to know her. She was the most talked about girl in school, which instantly earned her everyone’s curiosity. While she may have only had two close friends who’d never sell her out for the price of popularity, she didn’t lack in the social life department. She received invitations to Friday night parties and her phone never stopped buzzing with messages. For someone who relished in that level of personal acknowledgement, it would’ve been the ideal life. For someone like Astin, who truly felt she was a good person who bad things happened to, she all but wanted to disappear. She wasn’t ignorant of the things people said about her; if they weren’t being whispered in between classes, they would surely be plastered all over Facebook or whatever social networking tool could reach the largest audience in the shortest amount of time.

The rumors weren’t an everyday thing. Most of the time Astin could live her life without one weighing on her, giving her the opportunity to enjoy her senior year of high school. Overall, she was happy; she certainly didn’t dread waking up in the morning. Alex was amazed by this. To someone who was unconditionally tolerant and accepting, he couldn’t understand how someone who was faced with so much hate was so happy. This didn’t mean Astin was perfect, because she was far from it. She had obvious flaws that even wore under the skin of her best friends. Even though it was understandable, trust was not something she had for anyone, including Alex and Evie. Getting her to confide in them was like pulling teeth. She also clung to the familiar. There were tons of people who genuinely wanted to get to know her but she wouldn’t let them--she was convinced they only wanted to hurt her. Or, at the very least, take advantage of her in the worst ways.

Astin, to most guys, was one of the most attractive girls they’d ever laid eyes on. With her long, blonde hair and pretty aquamarine eyes, she instantly drew attention to herself wherever she went. Because of this, it was a mystery to her friends how she’d never had a boyfriend. Naturally there were guys she found attractive and guys she would’ve loved to date, but she could never bring herself to accept their proposals. She would’ve given up anything to have someone love her, to not care about all the misconceptions going around about her, but she didn’t trust their intentions. To her, a boyfriend meant someone who’d only get close to her to hurt her. She couldn’t take the risk.

So you can imagine her confusion upon finding a note stuck under her windshield wiper one day after school. It wasn’t signed and she didn’t recognize the handwriting. It was obvious that whoever had written it had every intention of keeping their identity a mystery. The note had sharp creases; to Astin, this meant the author had gone back and forth about delivering it. She’d found herself in this debacle only once before and in the second grade, no less. Her mother always made her write out Valentine’s Day cards for every kid in her class and she always had trouble doing it. She had been painfully shy then and, out of nervousness, traced over the creases of the envelopes a million times. Even though she didn’t have a clue as to who put the note under her windshield wiper, she immediately felt close to them, for they shared a quirk even her best friends never picked up on.

“AJ,” Evie started as soon as she buckled her seatbelt, “what is this?”

Astin immediately blushed at the sight of her note, which Evie was holding between her fingers. “I-I found it under my wiper the other day after class.”

Eve raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know who gave it to you?” Astin shook her head, inciting a chuckle from her best friend. “How creepy.”

“I don’t think it’s creepy,” Astin retorted.

“Well, good. It’s about time you get a damn boyfriend.”

“How is this going to get me a boyfriend?” Astin challenged. She stuck the keys in the ignition of her car and started it before glancing over to where Evie sat. “I don’t know who wrote it, and, even if I did, that doesn’t mean I’d go out with them.”

“You’ve got to get over this boys are the fucking anti-christ thing, AJ. Not everyone’s out to get you. For fuck’s sake, you can’t graduate a virgin.”

Astin scowled. “That’s not something I want to rush.”

“Virgin who can’t drive.”

“That’s not funny,” Astin snapped but failed at hiding her grin.

To anyone on the outside of Astin Caignon’s life, it would seem like she had it all: looks, popularity, smarts, money. And she did have everything. The only difference is she didn’t want it. She would’ve given up all of those things just to be normal. Standing out wasn’t as glamorous as people thought it was; neither was having your every move scrutinized and examined under the microscope of one-thousand teenagers. She wanted to trust someone enough to let them love her.

Little did she know, that someone had been there all along.