Thrill of the Fall

He smiled as he saw her read the note that he had placed in her locker a little while ago. Of course he knew which one it was, it wasn’t too far from his, actually. Locker number 341. It was on the left hand side and the door was dented a little bit, making Astin fight it on an almost daily basis. He wanted to tell her that a quick punch to the door above the combination lock would almost always pop it right open because his was dented in almost the exact same place and he had gone through it enough to know all the answers.

He was entirely too much of a chicken shit to talk to her. But the smile that she let go when she read his little, ridiculous note was almost too much to handle for him. He left the door of the library, smiling as he tucked a couple of the books he had just checked out for his project under his arm. He almost ran into one of Astin’s best friend as he did and somehow managed to stutter out an apology. Evie scared the crap out of him. She was strong minded and the rumors that went around about her were almost as bad as the ones that went around about Astin. Except he had no doubt that the rumors about Evie had some sort of truth to them. She was a man eater, he was certain about that, considering she had already slept with two of his best friends and band mates. No wonder Astin got caught up in horrible rumors.

But he couldn’t really fault her for it. Some of his friends were not exactly the most clean of guys either. They had parties and they slept around; typical band teenagers. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it thought. He respected himself too much to fall as low as a one night stand with a girl that he didn’t even know. His friends would chide him and tell him that he was holding out his hope for the wrong girl and most of them had consistently tried to hook him up with a “nice” girl, as they called her. He was too sensitive, they said, to have a hardened, party girl.

But all he wanted to do was spend as much time as possible making Astin smile like she did when she had read his letter earlier. If a dumb letter that made no sense and was probably only 3 sentences long made her smile like that, he wondered what something cute like bringing her flowers everyday would do. He smiled just thinking about it.

“What are you even smiling about, loser?” His friend asked as he slid into his desk next to him. He shrugged the boy off, just shaking his head as their teacher appeared at the front of the class. He didn’t get into trouble in class; he just didn’t make good grades. His mind was always elsewhere, whether it be on a new song for the band or the blonde girl that had held his eye for as long as he could remember.

He could only hope that Astin didn’t think that he was a complete creep by the time he felt comfortable to tell her who he was, if that time ever came around. He wasn’t sure that he would be able to do it and he definitely didn’t want one of his friends to do the whole “my friend likes you” thing, because they would just embarrass the shit of him and give him hell until the day that he died from embarrassment.

His friends lived for that sort of shit since most of them were constant pranksters. Whereas Astin had two very different friends with two very different personalities, his friends were all very similar. They were all loud and obnoxious 85% of the time, the other 15% they were playing songs that they had come up with or covering someone else’s so they were still loud, but a little less obnoxious. But they understood just about everything about him and, above all, they had faith that he would be able to lead the band to the staggering heights that they had set for themselves. They all would be something, he was sure. He would make sure of it. He had the entire band weighing on his shoulders, because everyone knew that no band would ever succeed without a fantastic lead singer who could command a crowd. And up until this point, he hadn’t done a very good job of that. But he wasn’t one of those people who could just jump up and be comfortable doing something. He needed a little bit of an adjustment period, which is what these first few gigs were.

After class had ended, he made his way to his locker, trying not to stare as Astin fought with her locker again, muttering curse words under her breath as she tried the combination only for it to get stuck. When had got all his books out, she was still fighting with her locker. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he walked by and hit the locker in the exact spot needed to pop it open. She smiled at him, making his insides melt as she thanked him. He ran off before he could embarrass himself further with him, giving her only a nod before he left her to get whatever she needed out of there.

He was pretty sure that he hadn’t given himself away with that simple gesture, but now she would try and figure out who this nameless boy was. A nameless boy, he thought, was exactly what he was. He had his doubts that Astin even had any idea what his name was, despite them having been in classes together since they were little. It’s not like either of them had ever moved out of the city to a different school district or anything. He was sure that she knew his friends though. They were much more outgoing than he was so it wasn’t so surprising.

Sure, he had gone to enough of the parties that Astin frequented with his band mates and best friends. But he wasn’t so certain that she had ever even noticed him at these parties. He was almost always the designated driver, and while Astin certainly didn’t go out and get wasted every time she was out, she always had a drink in her hand. Whether it was for show or that she actually drank it, he was completely unsure. But everyone their age in their town had a few drinks every now and then. There was really nothing better to do unless you went farther into the big city. Save for a few bowling alleys and ice cream places, there was really nothing to do as was the case in most small towns. But he had never really seen that as being a horrible thing.

Being in a small town meant a lot of things to him, but he never really put much thought into being stuck there. Probably because he knew that he wouldn’t be there very long after he graduated. They had big dreams and each of the guys in his band, himself included, were far too stubborn to give in and be stuck in that little town for the rest of their lives working dead end jobs. It just wouldn’t happen. Everyone kept telling them that they were full of talent, but sometimes he had to question if they were just supposed to say that to make them feel better. If that was actually the case, he wasn’t so sure he had any faith in their local community. But he thought that, with a little bit of help with regards to stage presence, they would take the city by storm, and maybe even the country.

But he really couldn’t imagine doing it if he didn’t at least give it a shot, talking to Astin that is. She was full of life and of confidence. He thought that he had the heart to deal with it and show her exactly what she was missing. All he really needed was to get the strength and confidence. Somewhere deep inside of him was the stereotypical band front man. He could only hope that he found that part of him somewhere sometime before graduation because he really wasn’t sure what he would do with the rest of his life if he never got to talk to Astin. He would spend the rest of his life wondering if he had made a huge mistake.

Astin had taken up a huge part of his life now. She had occupied his thoughts for so long that he forgot what it was like for her to not to have at least a little part of his brain occupied with her. He was almost worried that he was becoming a stalker in a sense considering that he knew just about everything about her and what she did on a constant basis. But he figured that it was probably just the not knowing that kept him going on about her. The idea of curiosity kept her on the edge of his seat. There was just something about Astin that kept him around.