Thrill of the Fall

Alex didn’t drink often. In fact, he rarely drank at all, so after his fourth beer things were starting to get weird. His stomach was warm and his thoughts were swirling. There were people talking to him, probably wondering why he finally decided to go to a party, but he wasn’t registering their words. He’d never been drunk before. He’d drank, yeah, but never to the point of slurred speech and having his car keys taken away. It was a strange feeling to him. All he could think about was his best friend and how hurt she must’ve been. He thought about how quiet she was when he was taking her home, how sad her eyes looked, how betrayed she must’ve felt.

And for what? She knew Evie wasn’t worth getting upset over. It wasn’t like she’d turned into a bitch overnight. Astin had witnessed her ex-friend’s vindictive ways many times before yet thought too highly of her to think she’d fall victim to them. That’s just how Astin was, though. She thought the world of everyone until they gave her a reason not to. Alex hoped this would be reason enough. He’d hate to see Evie forgiven and provided with a second chance to fuck things up even worse.

Garrett had left the group twenty minutes prior after shaking his head at John. Things were awkward then. It was obvious John’s friends disapproved of his choice in girls, and yet there was Alex, sitting there pretending to not hear their conversation. He was positive he’d never get over the anger he felt whenever someone insulted her. They didn’t know her like he did and that broke his heart. She wasn’t a bad person, not even close, yet she dealt with such hypocrisy from the people around her. The girls claimed to hate her yet they were always complimenting her, secretly hoping a friendship would blossom and they’d become as popular as she was; the guys always said they’d never date a girl with Astin’s reputation yet they were always jealous of whatever guy she was rumored to be with.

“I’m such an id-idiot,” John mumbled to himself for the fifth time that night.

Alex rolled his eyes. What more could he do but be annoyed? Granted, John was drunk, but it didn’t make it any less irritating. Self-pity was his biggest pet peeve. He figured that if Astin didn’t feel sorry for herself, no one should. Unless they were legitimately worse off than she was, then that would be okay.

“Man, can you stop saying that?” Kennedy groaned, obviously sharing Alex’s annoyance.

“I can’t help it, Ken. She’s perfect.”

Kennedy looked to Alex for help but he just shrugged. Astin was perfect, everyone knew that, but it didn’t change what he did. At least John felt bad for it. At least he wasn’t one of those guys who went around breaking hearts just because he could.

“Can’t you do something?” Kennedy whispered to him. They were both at a loss.

“Like what? I’m drunk.”

“I don’t know!” Kennedy whispered louder. “Can’t you, like, call her or something-”

“No!” John shouted, causing a few people to turn around and stare. “Don’t do that. Don’t call her.”

“Then shut the fuck up, man!”

John sunk lower into the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. Kennedy shook his head, much like Garrett had done earlier, before making his way into the kitchen. As Alex had quickly learned, that’s where all the alcohol was kept. He was sure Kennedy needed another drink as much as he did and, as tempted as he was to follow him, Alex stayed where he was. Everyone was fairly pissed and/or aggravated at John and he would’ve felt bad if he left him. They were both drunk and saying stupid things.

Time seemed to fly by once Alex was stuck on the couch watching everyone else have fun. He could’ve left. He should’ve left, he kept telling himself, but John’s friends were nowhere to be found. After a few hours’ time, Alex had already sobered up (because, let’s be honest, a few beers weren’t going to leave him dangling over an open toilet) and he assumed he’d have to drive John home if no one else was up for it.

John was still seated to Alex’s right with a cup of god-knows-what attached to his hand. There was a scowl on his face and he looked simply enthralled to be where he was. “You want me to drive you home, man?”

He shrugged and stood up, leaving Alex to copy his actions and dig in his pockets for his keys. Once he found them he nodded toward the front door and John followed him out. No one seemed to notice their departure. That was fine with Alex, as there was only a handful of people he knew and they were all in John’s band. Once they reached Alex’s car, he opened the door for John (since his hand-eye coordination was mediocre at best) and took his place in the driver’s seat.

“I didn’t mean to do this,” John said as they were stopped at a red light. Alex just nodded, already knowing he hadn’t meant it. “Evie is evil.”

“I know.”

“How can Astin even like her? She’s evil, Alex.”

Alex laughed. “I know.”

“Fuck, man, Astin’s basically perfect. She is perfect. And I just fucked everything up-”

“You can fix it,” he replied confidently. Alex knew Astin better than anyone and knew this was only a minor detour. She’d become smitten with him the second she found the first letter.

“I’m too scared, dude. I couldn’t even tell her who I was.”

The light turned green and Alex pressed down on the gas pedal. “You’re never gonna get her if you keep being a bitch about it. Astin’s a nice girl, and if you just tell her-”

“I can’t tell her!” John shouted. “I’ve been in fucking love with her since we were kids, Alex. Since we were kids. That’s, like, thirteen years, man! Then I go and show up to some stupid party with her stupid friend and it’s just like, what the fuck am I doing? I made it all through school not fucking up this bad and-”

“John,” he said sternly, “you can fix this. Trust me. Astin’s my best friend and I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t think you had a chance.”

John shook his head. Alex wasn’t sure whether he believed him but it got him to calm down for a few minutes. Alex had always heard stories about John at parties. None of them included him going on a hour-long rant about how he fucked up his chances with the girl of his dreams. But, then again, he’d never fucked up until tonight.

“You barely even know me, man. How can you trust me with her?”

Alex shrugged. “I just do. All the other guys have no problem going up to her and asking her out on a date because they’re so convinced she’s that easy. They think she’s a game. They think all it takes is them asking her out on one date for her to sleep with them. But not you, dude. You know better than that. You know she’s more than rumors and a bad reputation. And that’s the kind of guy she deserves.”

John smiled slightly before it turned back into a frown. “But what about Evie-”

“Fuck her,” Alex snarled. “She’s never been anything but a backstabbing bitch and, up until now, Astin was too blind to see it. Fuck Evie, fuck what your friends think, and fuck all this negativity. If you want her then you have to go get her.”

Alex pulled up to John’s house, satisfied with his dramatic ending. Somehow, he’d have to convince John to go after Astin. There was only a few weeks left until graduation. After that, who knew where they’d all end up, especially Astin. She’d been talking about moving far, far away once her diploma was in her hands. Of course John didn’t know this. And Alex had no intention of telling him, either, because he didn’t want to force him into doing anything. If John was finally going to come clean about his feelings, he should do it on his own terms, not someone else’s.

With his hand on the door handle, John turned to Alex and nodded. “Thanks, man.”

All Alex could do was acknowledge his words and watch him walk inside his house. He hoped he’d changed John’s mind about not telling Astin, but he knew that no one could make another person do something they didn’t want to do. All he could do was wait now.