Why...was my twin so different?

Dear whoever reads this,

It’s been about a month since Kael’s brutal death. Life just isn’t the same without him. Everything seems to have dulled, colors no longer seem bright and cheery, they seem to be sad too. Driving to school isn’t the same without having a happy, teenage boy sitting next to me singing every song that comes on the radio at the top of his lungs.

I can’t even eat a cookie without thinking of how Kael loved them and how he’ll never be able to eat them again. I miss him so much that theres a hole in my heart I fear will never heal.

I went to court last week and saw the stupid, cruel animals who took my brother away. They’ve all been sentenced to life in prison for committing the murder, stealing a gun and having planned everything out in advance. It hurts more to know that this didn’t just happen it had been thought out, planned. But now those boys aren’t going to live out their lives…just like my twin. He would have probably forgiven those boys, that’s just how he was, he could never hold a grudge and he just couldn’t stay mad at someone no matter what they did.

I remember when some guy at school threw a rock at him. He told the guy he wasn’t mad and gave him a hug which only made the guy yell at him and punch him in the face. That in turn made me get detention for a week for giving the guy a broken nose. I had always been the tougher one, the one who took karate and kickboxing while my brother was in drama and choir. But with our differences we completed each other. He was like the rain in my desert, the Oreo to my glass of milk.

I was always getting in trouble for him. Whether because I hit someone for making him feel bad or by yelling at a teacher who didn’t want him in their class, I did it all for my brother. I even smashed a window to distract a store owner because he wouldn’t let my brother, whose bladder was close to exploding, go into the men’s restroom. No matter how different my brother was in his bright yellow skinny jeans I don’t think it was right to deny him the use of the restrooms especially in a public store. Kael and I were banned from that store but we had so much fun laughing at how red the face of the store owner got.

I sure do miss getting in trouble for my brother and having him hug me and thank me a million times. I don’t miss having to hold him while he cried late at night, when he knew our parents were asleep. Even though he was so strong in the day…late at night he’d come to me and let his guard down. I’d hug him tightly while cried about how many times people yelled at him. I’d comfort him while he poured out his heart to me, asking me why people hated him so much and why he was so different. It always broke my heart to see him like that and know that there wasn’t much I could do to stop any of it. I couldn’t just make people change their minds about him.

Sure he had friends who accepted him but that didn’t stop him from wanting more. He wanted to be seen and heard by so many more but he didn’t want the insults and beatings that came with it. He just wanted to feel loved and liked by his peers yet all they did was hate him and put him down.

Now that he’s gone, it seems that people are actually taking notice in him. People actually miss the little plays he used to act in in his drama class. They miss hearing his voice sing during choir concerts and they miss reading the little poems he used to write for his creative writing class. I’ve had people come up to me and tell me how much they missed my brother and tell me how sorry they were for having treated him so coldly, but that’s only a handful of kids. There are still many others who try to forget Kael even existed and it’s those people I feel sorry for. Sorry because they are trying to block out the beauty a rainbow can fill your life with. And that’s what Kael was…a beautiful rainbow…

Sincerely,
Krystal