I Lost Her

"I didn't think you would show up," were the first words out of her mouth.

"It is kind of early, but I did agree to let you show me around."

"Well, I guess we should start walking. We can talk along the way so we're not late."

"Okay," I agreed.

I fell in step with her and it became silent for a few moments. We both went to say something at the same time and ended up laughing at the coincidence.

"You can go first," I told her.

"Do you ever wonder what the future is going to be like?"

Well, shit. That was a lot deeper than what I was going to say. "Um, sometimes. Not really, though."

"Oh," she nodded. "I try to picture mine all the time."

"What does it look like?"

She giggled that contagious laugh of hers and smiled slightly. "It's silly, really."

"Just tell me. It's not like you'll ever see me again after these ten days are up, so you don't have anything to worry about," I said.

Riley let a frown find her lips for a moment before replying. "I just imagine a fairy tell ending with my prince charming. It's childish, I know, but I can't help it."

Yeah, that's really fucking unlikely to happen was what I first thought of and was going to say, but I stopped myself. Just seeing her in that daze of pure longing.. I wish I felt that way about something, anything. I remained quiet as I tried to think of something better to ask than the typical 'What's your favorite color?'

"Do you know what you want to go to school for?" was what I had come up with.

She hesitated. "I, uh, I don't think I'm going to go to school."

"Why not?" I asked her.

"It's just not something I see happening, I guess."

"Do you not include college when you think of your future or whatever?"

She shook her head as we rounded a corner. "Do you know what you want to do?"

"Nope, I don't have shit planned out. I'm just sort of doing whatever the hell I want," I answered.

"I see. Could you do me a tiny favor?" she asked, and I just looked at her, urging her to say whatever it was. "Could you try not to swear when we're in church? Please?"

"Um, sure. It's going to be hard for me, though," I laughed at the ridiculous request.

"Thank you," Riley smiled.

~!@#$%^&*()_+

"Psst, Landon," I heard a voice whisper and a hand lightly shake me.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled out, earning myself a few dirty looks. Yeah? I can give nasty glances, too.

"I'm sorry," Riley apologized to the people around us before turning to me. "I thought you said you weren't going to swear."

"If I remember correctly I said I would try not to curse," I told her.

She frowned. "Then what was that?"

"You scared me."

"You fell asleep, Landon. It's church, it's not supposed to be all fun and games, you know. I'm sorry this is boring for you," she said with a light smile before sliding closer to me and sharing the book that was in her hands.

Everyone started to sing, including Riley. I closed my eyes at the sound of her voice and wished I could somehow capture it and play it on repeat. I let out an involuntary groan. She was turning me into a fucking Hallmark card.

After the singing was over, I kind of zoned in and out of the whole church scene. I hadn't gone to church in.. God, I couldn't even tell you how long it's been. More than a few years, I know that. But the hour had finally passed by and I surprisingly made it out alive.

"I think I'm going to head back home, I feel really sore. I'm sorry I have to go so soon," Riley explained.

"A-at least let me walk you home," I blurted out, surprising myself and wondering why a dirty comment hadn't left my mouth.

"Oh, no. You don't have to, really. It's in the opposite direction of where you're staying anyway."

"Please? I know it's a far walk and all, but a girl like you shouldn't be wondering the streets alone," I said.

"A girl like me?" she inquired, raising her eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah, you know..," I tried as I searched for the right words. "You don't seem like you could take care of yourself if something were to happen." As soon as I had said that I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, knowing that those were in fact the wrong words.

"Oh," she mumbled, giving her head a little nod.

"That's not what I meant," I told her. "I just meant that.." What did I mean? Think, Jesus. "I just meant that I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to you and I knew I could have stopped it from happening."

"So what you're trying to say is that you want to protect me?" she asked.

That's what I was doing? Protecting her? "Um. Kinda, yeah."

She laughed. "From what? Nobody's going to hurt me, people are great here."

"You don't know that. Some creepy bastard could be waiting around the corner and he could-" I stopped, not even wanting to think about the possibilities.

"It's nice of you to care about me and want to try and protect me, Landon, but this town's one of the safest around."

I decided to change the subject. "Where did you learn to sing like that?" I questioned, jerking my thumb behind us in the direction of the church.

"Was I really that bad?" she said with a chuckle.

"No," I immediately said. "I liked it."

"I used to be in the choir for a few years and picked up a thing or two."

Riley and I didn't really say much after that, we were just sort of quiet. It was kind of awkward, I'll admit, but what else would you expect?

"Well," she began. "This is home."

"Yeah, I guess it is," I lamely replied, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"I don't know if it's open this time of year, but do you want to go to the Silver Beach Carousel tomorrow?"

I let out a little laugh. "Sure, why not."

Riley gave her shoulders a shrug. "It just lets me be a kid again and forget my worries. It's sort of nice," she explained.

"I'll come by around two?"

"Sounds perfect. Goodnight, Landon."

"See you," I waved.