You Win

“I can’t believe you guys go back to school in less than a week,” my mom said in passing as she juggled her bag, her laptop case, her cell phone, and a cup of coffee in her hands, while she was trying to slip on her shoes and walk toward the door at the same time.

“Do you need help?” I asked cautiously, trailing behind her with my own coffee in my hands.

“No, no, I’m fine.” She would have waved me off, but her hands were full. She continued toward the door. I slipped in front of her so I could open it for her. “Thank you, dear,” she said, looking up from her phone, which had just vibrated in her hand.

“Okay, well, good luck at… whatever you’re doing today.”

She laughed and stepped outside. “You too.”

I shut the door and leaned back against it. I was up early again. I had gotten a few restful nights since Luke had come over, but the sleeplessness was finding its way back to me. You’d think I’d sleep like a baby. Luke and I had straightened things out. Carter and I were on good(ish) terms. Maggie was being Maggie. All was right in my world, so why did everything feel so off? Why couldn’t I sleep?

Maybe my bed was just uncomfortable. Maybe I needed a new pillow. There were a million possible explanations. It wasn’t necessarily because of something going on in my personal life. Nothing was going on in my personal life, really. Everything was fine. I could enjoy the last few days of summer before school started. I could sit back and bask in the glory of not having any homework to do or tests to study for.

I guess I was just feeling the sting of rejection. I had been in denial about it, but it was finally catching up to me—Luke had rejected me. Hadn’t he? Of course. That’s what had happened. I felt so stupid for thinking he would want anything more than friendship.

Whenever I tried to go to sleep, Luke’s face popped into my mind. Always. My mind would wander, and it would go to him. “I can’t believe you actually thought I would be into you, Caroline,” he’d say.

I knew he’d never actually say that to me—but he was probably thinking it. He was just too nice to say it out loud. He probably rolled his eyes every time he thought about me. He probably didn’t even think of me at all!

I needed to stop being so out of it. I needed to start being fun again.

It was too early to call Maggie. Too early to do anything. I decided not to make any cookies though. I didn’t want to think anymore; I just wanted to have fun again.

I messed around with the Xbox in the living room until Carter came down the stairs, looking hygienic and normal, which I was glad for.

“What are you doing?” he asked as he came up behind me, crossing his arms and looking between the controller in my hands and the television.

“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully.

He rolled his eyes. “Give me this,” he said and snatched the controller from my hands.

“Hey!” I protested, trying to grab it back from him, even though it was futile. Carter was taller, stronger, and faster. I gave up quickly and let myself fall back onto the couch.

He played the video game with ease, beating the level I had been on in the time it had taken me to figure out how to turn the damn thing on. He tossed the controller onto the couch and looked down at me with a smirk. “You should probably just stick to your books.”

“You should probably just stick to your stupidity,” I retorted childishly.

He shook his head and started walking toward the kitchen. I got off the couch and followed him.

“When’s Mom going to be home?” he asked.

I shrugged. “She said sometime tomorrow.”

“Well,” he said with a content sigh. He was always happy when she went away. I never understood it—I’d much rather have her at home. “Luke’s coming over tonight, just so you know. Please keep your panties on.”

I gave him a disgusted look, which he missed completely because he was staring into the abyss of the refrigerator. “Don’t talk about my panties. That’s gross.”

“I’m just trying to warn you. I don’t want you to flip a shit because you weren’t expecting him.”

“I hate you,” I mumbled.

He laughed, pulling some leftover pizza from the fridge and popping it in the microwave.

“And just so you know, Maggie’s coming over tonight too. So, yeah. Panties.”

He scowled at me, and I grinned. All I had to do was call Maggie and tell her to cancel any previous plans she might have had so she could come over to my house. I knew she’d do it, especially if Luke would be there.

Oh no. Luke would be here! In my house. I hadn’t seen him since he had forgiven-but-rejected me, and I didn’t know what to expect from him, really. We had watched that movie but I didn’t want to think about it because it had been so humiliatingly awkward. I didn’t know what to make of the situation. I just wanted things to be normal between us, but I didn’t know if that was possible.

Well technically, I didn’t want things to be normal between us, but beggars can’t be choosers.

“I’m going to take a shower!” I said to Carter, speeding out of the kitchen. If Luke was coming over, I’d at least have to look clean.