You Win

The next time I saw Luke, he was in my living room scarfing down a whole pizza with Carter. The smell of the pizza was what lured me downstairs in the first place.

I saw Carter first, then some guy with dark hair beside him. I figured it couldn’t be Luke—how could he be here? He was supposed to hate me and Carter. But there he was. I froze when I realized it was him. The two were sitting there playing video games like nothing had happened. Like we were in middle school again. I hadn’t seen them play video games in forever.

It was so typical for Carter to get out of this scratch-free. I sent him a glare which he did not see, and stomped to the kitchen like a little girl on the brink of a temper tantrum.

And then I started making cookies for quite a few reasons. One: I was in distress. Two: I remembered what Maggie had told me. Three: I remembered that I had actually agreed to what Maggie had told me. Four: I had originally come down for pizza and I’ll be damned if I had to go back upstairs with an empty stomach.

“There’s still cookies left over from the last time you made them.” I turned to see Carter enter the kitchen, empty paper plate in hand.

“Well I felt like baking and they’re the only thing I know how to make,” I said tightly, cracking an egg too forcefully. Eggshells went well with chocolate chips.

I picked up a fork and started to mix, sending poofs of flour everywhere. Carter put his paper plate on the counter with a sigh. He strode over to me and stilled my arm. I let my head droop.

“Just talk to him,” he said, low enough to create a world with just the two of us.

“I can’t,” I choked out. I looked at him. “I thought you didn’t want me to, anyway.” I willed myself to be mad at Carter, but I just didn’t have the energy anymore. Luke overshadowed some stupid little contest by far.

Carter let go of my arm and leaned against the counter. “Yeah, well, obviously this is more fucked up than you just trying to get revenge, so,” he said, stealing a few chocolate chips and popping them in his mouth.

“What?” I asked, not believing my ears.

“Look,” he said, his voice still low. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you two, but I do know that all Luke has done for the past three days is play video games and sigh a lot.”

“I don’t know—” I abruptly stopped talking when I heard the front door slam. I dropped my fork and ran out of the kitchen. Luke wasn’t in the living room anymore. He had left.

I darted out the door in time to catch him walking down the driveway to his car. He stopped at the sound of the screen door snapping shut behind me but didn’t turn around.

I didn’t know what to say. A simple apology didn’t seem like enough.

“I’m making cookies.”

As soon as it was out of my mouth, I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I really couldn’t have thought of anything better than that? I let out a frustrated sound and started walking toward him in a rush, my feet slapping against the pavement as I went.

“Can we please talk?” I pleaded, but he still didn’t turn around. When I reached him, I grabbed his shoulder to turn him around, but he flung it off.

“Don’t touch me,” he mumbled quietly, but it went through me like a sharp knife.

I stood there, shell-shocked and having not the slightest clue what to do next. So I resorted to anger.

“You can’t be that mad,” I huffed. “It was just a kiss.”

That got him to turn around. But I wished I hadn’t said it. I had ruined every remaining speck of magic around that kiss. It was now tarnished with revenge, Carter, and belittlement. I wished it could have just been ours.

“You’re so fucking clueless, you know that, Caroline?” His voice cracked a little over my name, and my heart broke a little as he said it. He slowly shook his head, gathering his thoughts. My head was spinning. “I’m glad Carter walked in when he did. I wish that kiss had never happened.”

All the breath rushed out of me as I watched him walk away. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn’t know how to say any of it.

Luke slammed his door and drove away. After he disappeared, I looked up at the sky and for the second time that week, I wanted the clouds to open up and soak everything in sight.

A bird chirped in the distance.

I stood there until my mom pulled into the driveway. She got out of her car and put an arm around my shoulders, leading me into the house. “When you were little, you always used to wait at the end of the driveway for me to get home from work. Remember that?”

I leaned into her touch. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “I remember.”