Everything but My Heart

I didn't know whether I was allowed back on the beach, but I would have given my left leg to be there today. It was the most perfect day I had ever seen in Forks, the sun was high and luminous in the sky to the point of being blinding. I was safely hidden in the forest from the stray car that occasionally passed by as I argued with myself pacing back and forth. Should I try? Would they be mad? I know how much they hate the Cullens when they even think about crossing into their land. My ponytail was whipping around as I kept swatting my bangs out of the way since they were beginning to become a nuisance. I knew Bella was with Jake today since it was the weekend and there was no reason for her to be cooped in the house like the rest of the Cullen family was. Thankfully I didn't sparkle much, I mean not really enough for any normal person to notice I didn't think. I always could have easily passed it off with losing a fight with a bottle of body glitter. 

"Missing your old life?" I smelled him a few seconds before his voice called to me. I pushed aside my previous fears and stepped over the line that way maybe if they found me I would have a reason. 

"What do you want? Just stay away from me Riley." I spoke harshly trying to show him I wasn't afraid of him, maybe crossing the line showed that. But then again he didn't know about the wolves, I smiled at my realization. 

"So you found my name out did you." He took a few steps closer and I retreated stepping into the light where I hoped he wouldn't go since the beach was only a quick sprint away. "I came to tell you this is your last chance to join me, or else." 

"Or else what?" I dropped my tough act hoping to get something out of him as I seemed genuinely interested. 

"That you will have to see for yourself. So what will it be?" The smirk on his pale face made me want to punch him but I knew I would get my turn soon. 

"Leave me alone." I didn't give him time to catch up to me before I darted to the beach into the open view as I whizzed by trees. There were happy people playing all along the beach and Riley stopped at the forests edge. 

"You will regret this." He spat before he stepped back into the shadows more but I decided to play it safe and hide on the beach for a while anyway. I looked around quickly scanning the faces to see if they were anyone I knew since I was technically dead and all to the people of Forks. The cost was clear but I stayed over near the less populated area near the forest so I could make a quick hide away if need be. I occasionally checked the forest seeing if Riley was still lurking around, him being around wasn't a good sign. Should I go warn Sam? 

Despite the bad feeling I had I thought that may have been the best thing to do since Riley was waiting around the forest for me, maybe they could catch him given his close proximity. I went back into the forest staying near the edge as long as I absolutely could before I ran as fast as even my vampire speed could take me as the house that I could have once called my second home came into view. I walked the short distance from the driveway to the door wondering if they could sense me, I definitely could hear them all in their fighting over food. At least somethings didn't change. I felt the smile spread on my face until I came to the front step, the laughter from inside was still booming but I froze. Now the repercussions of my actions were starting to get to me, what if they chased me off? I really hated all of the sudden insecurities I felt when it came to the people I called my family, they wouldn't do that, not to me. I pluck the courage to take the next step when I saw a shadow loom over me. I looked to see Sam, his typical 'I'm-the-leader' look present on his face. "I, uh, I." Wow excellent sentence Tay thats one for the playbills. 

"We were wondering if you were just going to stand there all day." His serious face fell leaving a  smile as he held the door open nodding his head to the inside. 

"But," I didn't finish before he grabbed my arm and snapped me into the house shutting the screen behind him. 

"Oh look the eavesdropper actually came in." Paul smirked, oh how I didn't miss them sometimes but that was a lie. 

"I wasn't listening, I was thinking." Sam retook his spot and I stood feel slightly awkward with the situation at hand. 

"Must have been really hard for you to not notice we were watching you." Embry joined in and him I decided to scowl at. 

"I was actually, but anyway I only came to say that Riley is around. I had a run in with him this morning but he disappeared after I told him away." Sam's serious face returned and I wondered where Emily was as I noticed the empty kitchen yet the table was full of food. That's when I noticed someone at the table I'd never seen, he looked younger and smaller than my original boys certainly. "Did he hurt you?" 

I shook my head, "he didn't even touch me, and when he tried I just went into the sun on the beach so he would be seen if he followed me." Sam looked puzzled as he closed his eyes, all of us were silent but I was watching Jacob as our eyes connected. I swooned into the chocolate brown  irises and his eyes read nothing short of adoration but it was quickly lost when the young boy from before knocked over his glass onto the floor. 

I blinked a few times startled by the noise that broke the moment Jake and I were having but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel loved by him in those seconds. "Coming!" I heard a voice beckon and I grinned before hearing her feet hurriedly down the stairs. 

"Seth! What on earth," Emily's eyes fell on me before she fell into a smile. I didn't move as she shuffled in front of me grabbing my shoulders gently. "So its true." Her eyes seemed teary and I held my emotions back the best I could while giving her a saddened smile in return. I felt her arms wrap around me and I returned it for a instant feeling like nothing had changed, I was tell the normal me. The girl who would graduate college and do great things; get married, have children, live a long and happy life until time had run it's course. 

Time would never run its course now and unless if I ventured I would remain lonely looking for a boy, who happened to be a vampire frozen at around the age of 16. My chances were slim to none through my eyes. I broke down again heaving gentle sobs into Emily's shoulder, I guessed she hadn't expected that but she rubbed my back none-the-less ushered me into the living room. She didn't say anything and I didn't need her to but she remained silent as she cradled me like a mother would do to her child. I half wished it was Jake holding me, which caused another round of tears to emerge dampening her shirt further. 

I wondered if my face was puffy and red like humans got when they cried, I didn't even know I could still bawl my eyes out even as a vampire. I wiped my nose with the tissue Sam handed me and I snagged another from the box for my eyes. Makeup residue was in the mix of tears but I didn't care anymore. "Better?" Emily asked as I removed myself from her seeing the damage I had done to her once cream blouse. "Sorry." I mumbled sympathetically my eyes watching the black and blue smudge that was with a smog of tear remains. 

"Please Tay, it's a shirt, all that matters is that you feel better." Her smile was enough to seal my happiness for the time being as I let a smile take over my face. 

"Thank you, I feel much better now." I sniffled again quietly and suddenly felt very relaxed and tired as the lack of sleep had finally caught up go me. "I think I should go." I stood flattening out my shirt and adjusting the straps on my tank top which had fallen to the sides in my meltdown.

"Tay wait." It was Jake's voice from the table as I passed, it looked as though none of them had taken a breath let alone move since I began my attack. 

"I just came to warn you, please be safe guys." I darted down the steps and through the forest just as quickly as I had when I was making my arrival hoping no one was following me. I slowed when I came to the ravine, I hopped down taking my time crossing seeing more leaves making their journey down the stream. 

I watched as some of the leaves got caught on branches that strayed in the water while the others continued floating by and by eventually out of sight. I wondered if this stream led to the ocean, I would have to follow it someday maybe after the danger level was lowered. I stared at my reflection in the water before returning my gaze to a leaf that made my face ripple as it landed in the water from the tree above. I watched as my leaf sailed down dodging the tree branches and went on past my vision. We were all like the leaves, our fate decided by the paths they flow by, only the great unknown awaiting ahead as we float through the stream of life.