Everything but My Heart

I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. My mind wandered getting dizzy from all the thoughts that were clouding my head as silence was the only thing I heard. The Cullens, minus Edward, and I stood in our ready positions waiting for the newborn army to approach. I nervously pulled on my fingers and starred blankly at the same tree for the past few minutes. Either no one noticed or no one really cared since we all had the same feelings rushing through us, anxiety and the build up of adrenaline waiting to be released. The sky was dark with threatening rain clouds, and somewhere not too far away Bella was huddled next to Jacob safe and warm while the rest of us risked our lives. He was supposed to be joining us soon, leaving Seth up there for extra protection.

Bella had spread her blood around leading them to us before she departed yesterday. The boys were up ahead a little ways, out of sight but not out of hearing distance so they knew when to jump in. There was nothing that could have prepared me for how quickly they attacked, it was like something from a movie. There was no hesitation on their side as they immediately rushed us from the woods just as Alice predicted. There weren’t nearly as many as I imagined there would be but with the way I briefly saw Emmett struggling I knew they had to be strong. Before one had the chance to approach me I flew into action finding a courage I didn’t even think I had when I saw one threw Alice on the ground. I felt like the action hero I was always dreaming of being, saving people from the villain. As I jumped onto the back of the college-aged newborn I heard a growl from behind me, the boys were here. The newborn didn’t like the fact I was on him and took the distraction of me looking for one wolf in particular to slam me to the ground.

“You bastard!” I kicked myself off the ground and began attacking him. I finally had the opportunity to twist his neck resulting in a sickening crack that reminded me of a breaking cement pot.I dropped his severed head onto the ground and stared as he began to crack in pieces and I couldn’t believe what I had done for a second until a fuzzy head bumped against my backside. Embry, I smiled before I saw him grab a newborn in his mouth ripping him into pieces, they really were fascinating to watch.

I continued fighting another newborn who sought me out this time as she kicked me away a huge sienna colored wolf leap over the boulder and slammed her to the ground ripping her head off with one swipe. I briefly met his chocolate brown eyes giving a silent thanks before we both took off defending our home from the invaders. “Tay!” Emmett yelled and I turned to see a newborn approaching my back as I fought one of her companions. I ducked right before she grabbed me and pulled her arms back hearing the same cement like sound as I tossed them aside. I then kicked her down to the ground as I turned my attention to the undamaged girl I was fighting before. I smiled at her and she returned one evilly before she charged and I clothes-lined her to the ground where Paul finished her and no arm off.

It was so nice seeing everyone work together, the hope we could all get along in the future. The remaining newborns with the exception of Bree, the one Carlisle and Esme were having a conversation with, were defeated. Everyone looked relieved to see Edward carrying Bella next to the warm glow of the fire that was currently burning the bodies of the ex-newborns. As soon as she was set down she rushed over to give me a hug, it kind of put me off guard since we handn’t really said much to each other lately. I hugged her back when I noticed there was one more newborn standing off to the distance. Leah must have noticed him too since she went charging towards him despite the protest of others including myself.

Leah didn’t have time to reach him before Jake pushed her away started fighting the newborn himself. I panicked knowing something bad was going to happen. I had thrown Bella to the ground at this point seeing how he was in the perfect position to get crushed himself which was indeed about to happen as the two began to twirl around in circles. I knew my strength as I sprinted shoving Jake out of harms way as the most intense pain I’d ever felt squeezing my ribs. I heard the cracks over my scream and it made me wish I were deaf because with the pain and the sound I was ready to blackout. I couldn’t move or even think of moving from his grasp as he hugged tighter, more cracks breaking the once silence and happy moods. The newborn was thrown off me before he could entirely squeeze me in half and I was tossed to the ground to cringe in pain even more as I laid there unmoving since I knew it would hurt like a mo-fo. “Tay. Tay? Are you okay?” My sister asked coming to my side again. I didn’t even want to move, it was a good thing I didn’t have to breath since I was already dead technically. More people came to my side one of which being Carlisle, he bent down and gently poked my chest which burned.

“At least I can’t die.” I chuckled which I regretted instantaneously.

“You almost did.” Carlisle said moving my arm from my side and lifting my shirt to inspect the damage better. “One more squeeze and you would have been,” Bella stopped him saying she didn’t want to hear it and I smiled with another regret filled chuckle.

“I’ll be fine, promise.” I was in enormous amounts of pain as I slowly pulled myself up and finally got to standing. I almost fell over but a wolf with a grey coat stood by my side and I painfully wrapped my arms around his neck. “Thanks Embry.” Everyone stood by and watched and I had no idea how vampires healed or even if I could be healed. I stood myself back up leaning against Embry’s side since it was significantly much less pain filled than leaning over.

“The Volturi are coming.” Alice said looking off into the forest to the north. Carlisle looked quickly then looked to me and the wolves, “you shouldn’t be here.”

Sam who was now in human form with his denim cut off shorts nodded and picked me up. “Hey what are you doing?”

“You shouldn’t be here either the’ll try to take you back.” Carlisle reasoned and I had completely almost forgotten about the time I spent with them. I smelled Jane and the others now wondering if they could sense me too especially Demetri . We knew they were quick approaching, the rest of the wolves dashed off Sam carrying me while running trying not to hurt me more. The smell of my Italian family grew fainter as we neared the closest house which I recognized as Jake’s. Mr. Black didn’t appear to be home as Sam entered the house first flicking on some lights. “We have to put her in my room.” Jake’s voice called from behind Sam and he nodded in agreement. “In case Charlie comes in the house, she can’t exactly be laying on my couch.” They were all silent and it was really starting to creep me out, I didn’t want them to worry I was going to be fine.

“Guys you know this isn’t necessary.” I started as Sam placed me on the bed very gently and it caused me to roll my eyes. Sure I was in pain but I didn’t want them to treat me like I was dying. “I’m not dying, I’m sure I’ll be fine in like a day or two.” I didn’t know who I was trying to convince at this point, them or me. If I had to live like this for the rest of my undead life I was just going to have someone kill me, being in intense pain wasn’t worth the immortality.

“Your ribs are broken, it’s more serious than you think.” Sam said as he backed away to give me space. I laid there for a minute feeling like Snow White when the dwarfs were all circled around her when she was “dead”. I smiled faintly before my eyes met Jake’s and I closed my mouth and stared at him. He looked at me for another minute before he pushed past the other guys exiting his house, a few minutes later another door slammed shut. The guys looked at each other, then me, and then the door as if they were deciding what to do among themselves silently. Embry shut the door behind the rest of the guys as the filed out after telling me to feel better, which was redundant.

Embry pulled up a chair and didn’t say anything for a few minutes as I looked down at my feet not wanting to catch his gaze. “He’s just mad because you got hurt.” I didn’t say anything due to the fact I really didn’t know what to say. “It’s a pride thing, he wouldn’t have cared if it was him that got hurt saving you. But the other way around is kind of a blow.”

“But to ignore me completely? What sense does that make?” I asked making a ghastly face as I tried to shift myself to get comfier.

“No but it might also be the fact that he found out about Bella and Edward’s engagement this morning. Why didn’t you tell him?” I hesitated to answer but it was Embry, he was my best friend slash older brother. “I wanted him to still think he had a chance, you know that he could still be happy for at least a little longer.”

“Why? He’s such a confusing asshole sometimes and yet you still put up with it. And he should know better than to do that since it effects him too.” I gave him a confused look as he sort of just answered my prayers.

“Wait, you mean I’m still his imprint even though I’m this?” I asked pointing. He nodded. “It never goes away, not even after you die, as in like die die. He would just be incredibly depressed and maybe if he’s lucky he would find someone else but the chances are slim.”

I let Embry’s word sink in as I heard Carlisle and my sister talk to the guys and Embry hushed himself as they entered, he then left to give us space. “Does it still hurt?” Carlisle asked and I simply looked at him causing a chuckle to erupt from his mouth. “I figured as much, but here I brought you this. It will help the healing process somewhat although it’s not going to be as helpful as acutal blood.” I took the pouch that he opened and thanked him before drinking it like a Capri Sun without the straw as the bag deflated into wrinkles with red residue left in them. I felt a little better but I knew I wasn’t going to heal as quickly as I had hoped.

“What did the Volturi say?” I asked them as Carlisle poked my ribs again and I hissed.

“Sorry, they knew you were there. Demetri said he was looking forward to seeing you soon so that obviously means their up to something.” Carlisle answered as Bella occupied the seat Embry was in earlier.

“So I heard Jake found out.” I looked at Bella and she shifted her eyes away from me, I had a feeling Carlisle knew what I was talking about because he set the remaining box of blood bags on the bedside table and told m to take it easy. “Thank you Carlisle.” I said before he shut the door.

“He wasn’t suppose to.” Bella finally spoke up her eyes still glued to the floor.

“Well you needed to tell him at some point anyway but I think the fact he found out on his own was worst.”

“I don’t need you to point out my flaws Tay.” I was getting mad again, it was a good thing I wasn’t a werewolf instead cause I’d be shifting from anger all the damn time with her.

“Your flaws? You mean you giving up a great guy to be with someone who’s dead and that constantly puts you in danger.”

“He always protects me though doesn’t he?” I would have punched her in the face if I had the strength. “He makes me happy Tay, and I’d be willing to change for that.”

“Oh, so Jake’s never made you happy? You’ve never thought about the possibility of staying with Jake instead of Edward. Because being a vampire really isn’t as totally awesome as you think it might be, I would know.” She kept silent and I knew she was planning what to say in her head just like I was.

“I love Edward.” She looked up finally with tears forming in her eyes. “You can have Jacob if you want.” She stood now meaning she was leaving.

“You know I’d like that but since you keep stringing him along he wants nothing to do with me.” I was finished now and despite how painful it was I rolled to my side facing the wall only hearing her pad across the floor and close the door behind her.

I hated what I had become in Forks, Bella and I had never fought so much before, or not this serious. Maybe I should go back to Italy, it was less confusing there. I could be with Demetri and leave Jake and the others alone to go back with their normal lives. I sighed loudly as I felt tears slip from my eyes remembering the last time I was here Jake was kissing me and telling me he loved me