Extraordinary.
the first time.
It was December fifteenth, nineteen eighty eight.
I reminded myself to breathe as I approached the only home I’d ever known, the only place I could be with my friends in peace. It was harmony in a building, a paradise for me. It was one place I could be without having to worry about my distant minded mother who genuinely forgot everything.
Including her only daughter’s name.
She was an artist, so what could you say?
My breath turned to fog in front of my face as I paced the old, cracked sidewalk that lead me to my safe haven, crossing my fingers inside my coat pocket and hoping my friends were already there waiting to chide me on being late again. I was always late.
I pushed my frozen fingers further into my pockets, trying to find any warm place to shove them. Desperate to fight off frost bite in all of its forms, I jumped through the open doorway and nodded to the tall boy that had held it open for me, laughing slightly at the random act of kindness.
The hallway twisted and warped before my eyes and my legs began to wobble and shake, making me fall extraordinarily ungracefully to the floor. I curled into a ball, blocking out the sound of an unfamiliar screaming bell and a million feet stomping around on the floor above me. Tears streamed down my face as I slowly lifted myself up, hating the gross feeling that the shaking walls had put into my stomach and rubbed my cold fingers into my forehead and hot eyes. “Where am I?” I whispered to myself, eyes darting around the unfamiliar place that I could have sworn had been my school ten minutes before.
Hundreds of bodies came into view and I curled up again in a childish way of thinking that maybe they wouldn’t notice me if I couldn’t see them. Three or four of the people who had come thundering down the steps stopped to make a semi-circle around me, almost cornering me in a way against the wall my back was to. I lifted my head to see friendly faces and helping hands, but that didn’t make me feel better or ease my mind in any way. “Where am I?” I asked again, voice wavering in confusion and fear as I let them help me to my feet.
“Etna?” the blonde said, quirking her head to the side and raising an eyebrow. “California?” she added, voice getting higher in a tint of confusion, when no hint of recognition graced my features. I tried to think of how I could have possibly gone from Minnesota to California in seconds.
Nothing reasonable came to mind, though.
I laughed half-heartedly, but convincingly enough for them to ease smiles back to their faces. The brunette held her hand out to me, leading me down the hallway. “You must be the new kid,” she said cheerfully. I nodded wordlessly, afraid of saying the wrong words. “My name’s Riley,” her smile was splitting her face in two and giving me a headache. I couldn’t handle so much glee coming from one entity.
She had to be some sort of alien monster in order to be so happy so early and in such a horrible smelling room. My nose perked as I looked up at the cluster of tables. The tell-tale cafeteria. I grimaced.
“Spence,” I shrugged, trying to ignore the smell of food. It swirled around me, smelling like inexpensive, government issued food. I fought with my stomach as it tried to heave up something that wasn’t there. I’d lost my lunch somewhere along the line.
She giggled, looking from the line we were suddenly in and then back to me, “I know, silly.”
My eyes were burning themselves out of my skull and my toes were invisible inside my white shoes. My fingers played with the torn hem of my light sweater mindlessly as I waited for the class to begin. The heightening unfamiliarity of this place and these ideas started to eat at my brain, so when the teacher did finally begin to speak, I found I wasn’t listening in the least.
A note molded into a compact ball bounced on my desk, rolling until it nudged against my still freezing fingers. The skin that pulled around my knuckles was white and my nails were bitten down into nothingness. I peeled away at the layers of paper and flattened it noiselessly against my desk, not bothering to look for the person who had thrown it.
‘Come to my house tonite? ~K-lah.’
I rolled my eyes but picked up my dulling pencil and sketched in a curly ‘sure’ before making a mini-airplane out of it and tossing it lightly to my left. I heard her noisily unfold the small paper and give a small airless laugh. I rolled my eyes again, wondering for a fleeting moment where I was and why this was happening to me.
I quietly muttered a scorned thank you to the bell as it rang, feeling like it was hours too late. I started for my newly acquired locker and then into the parking lot where Kayla quickly caught up with Riley and Jennifer in tow. The blonde and the brunette were serenading Jennifer, who tried to cover her face with dark hair as it started to turn a bright red. “I tried my imagination, but I was disturbed,” Riley sang out of tune, turning for Kayla to come in on the chorus with her.
“Jenny, I’ve got your number. I need to make you mine. Jenny, don’t change your number. 4-6-7-3 1-6-8.” Even I giggled when they changed the words to what I assumed was Jennifer’s actual number. I watched with rapt attention, leaning against the side of the rough building, as Jennifer looked up in surprise. Startled and wide eyed she made a motion like she was gonna punch either one or both of her friends, but quickly dropped her fist and bent over laughing a long with them. I smiled, remembering my friends and wondering if they knew what was going on or if they even missed me.
That night, after listening to the three friends talk and try to include me in their conversations, Kayla dropped me off at an unfamiliar house. I was just thankful she knew where I lived and that I didn’t have to come up with some random address that quite possibly didn’t exist. I went to bed, ignoring my faux-parents as they argued to the soft sounds of the television, closing my eyes wishing for sleep and normalcy.
But the next day, when I woke up, it was December fifteenth again.
I reminded myself to breathe as I approached the only home I’d ever known, the only place I could be with my friends in peace. It was harmony in a building, a paradise for me. It was one place I could be without having to worry about my distant minded mother who genuinely forgot everything.
Including her only daughter’s name.
She was an artist, so what could you say?
My breath turned to fog in front of my face as I paced the old, cracked sidewalk that lead me to my safe haven, crossing my fingers inside my coat pocket and hoping my friends were already there waiting to chide me on being late again. I was always late.
I pushed my frozen fingers further into my pockets, trying to find any warm place to shove them. Desperate to fight off frost bite in all of its forms, I jumped through the open doorway and nodded to the tall boy that had held it open for me, laughing slightly at the random act of kindness.
The hallway twisted and warped before my eyes and my legs began to wobble and shake, making me fall extraordinarily ungracefully to the floor. I curled into a ball, blocking out the sound of an unfamiliar screaming bell and a million feet stomping around on the floor above me. Tears streamed down my face as I slowly lifted myself up, hating the gross feeling that the shaking walls had put into my stomach and rubbed my cold fingers into my forehead and hot eyes. “Where am I?” I whispered to myself, eyes darting around the unfamiliar place that I could have sworn had been my school ten minutes before.
Hundreds of bodies came into view and I curled up again in a childish way of thinking that maybe they wouldn’t notice me if I couldn’t see them. Three or four of the people who had come thundering down the steps stopped to make a semi-circle around me, almost cornering me in a way against the wall my back was to. I lifted my head to see friendly faces and helping hands, but that didn’t make me feel better or ease my mind in any way. “Where am I?” I asked again, voice wavering in confusion and fear as I let them help me to my feet.
“Etna?” the blonde said, quirking her head to the side and raising an eyebrow. “California?” she added, voice getting higher in a tint of confusion, when no hint of recognition graced my features. I tried to think of how I could have possibly gone from Minnesota to California in seconds.
Nothing reasonable came to mind, though.
I laughed half-heartedly, but convincingly enough for them to ease smiles back to their faces. The brunette held her hand out to me, leading me down the hallway. “You must be the new kid,” she said cheerfully. I nodded wordlessly, afraid of saying the wrong words. “My name’s Riley,” her smile was splitting her face in two and giving me a headache. I couldn’t handle so much glee coming from one entity.
She had to be some sort of alien monster in order to be so happy so early and in such a horrible smelling room. My nose perked as I looked up at the cluster of tables. The tell-tale cafeteria. I grimaced.
“Spence,” I shrugged, trying to ignore the smell of food. It swirled around me, smelling like inexpensive, government issued food. I fought with my stomach as it tried to heave up something that wasn’t there. I’d lost my lunch somewhere along the line.
She giggled, looking from the line we were suddenly in and then back to me, “I know, silly.”
My eyes were burning themselves out of my skull and my toes were invisible inside my white shoes. My fingers played with the torn hem of my light sweater mindlessly as I waited for the class to begin. The heightening unfamiliarity of this place and these ideas started to eat at my brain, so when the teacher did finally begin to speak, I found I wasn’t listening in the least.
A note molded into a compact ball bounced on my desk, rolling until it nudged against my still freezing fingers. The skin that pulled around my knuckles was white and my nails were bitten down into nothingness. I peeled away at the layers of paper and flattened it noiselessly against my desk, not bothering to look for the person who had thrown it.
‘Come to my house tonite? ~K-lah.’
I rolled my eyes but picked up my dulling pencil and sketched in a curly ‘sure’ before making a mini-airplane out of it and tossing it lightly to my left. I heard her noisily unfold the small paper and give a small airless laugh. I rolled my eyes again, wondering for a fleeting moment where I was and why this was happening to me.
I quietly muttered a scorned thank you to the bell as it rang, feeling like it was hours too late. I started for my newly acquired locker and then into the parking lot where Kayla quickly caught up with Riley and Jennifer in tow. The blonde and the brunette were serenading Jennifer, who tried to cover her face with dark hair as it started to turn a bright red. “I tried my imagination, but I was disturbed,” Riley sang out of tune, turning for Kayla to come in on the chorus with her.
“Jenny, I’ve got your number. I need to make you mine. Jenny, don’t change your number. 4-6-7-3 1-6-8.” Even I giggled when they changed the words to what I assumed was Jennifer’s actual number. I watched with rapt attention, leaning against the side of the rough building, as Jennifer looked up in surprise. Startled and wide eyed she made a motion like she was gonna punch either one or both of her friends, but quickly dropped her fist and bent over laughing a long with them. I smiled, remembering my friends and wondering if they knew what was going on or if they even missed me.
That night, after listening to the three friends talk and try to include me in their conversations, Kayla dropped me off at an unfamiliar house. I was just thankful she knew where I lived and that I didn’t have to come up with some random address that quite possibly didn’t exist. I went to bed, ignoring my faux-parents as they argued to the soft sounds of the television, closing my eyes wishing for sleep and normalcy.
But the next day, when I woke up, it was December fifteenth again.