Scars

Enthusiasm eluded Brian as he pulled into the parking lot of the Sports Centre. His mind wasn’t on the task ahead. In fact his mind hadn’t been able to focus on much for the past month. In all honesty he’d been a mess. He’d had his fair share of girlfriends over the years but he’d never felt anywhere near as bad as he did now when those relationships had ended. There had been something different about Tonya. He had loved her. He still did.

Getting out of his Escalade he grabbed his kit bag from the back before making his way across the parking lot, his eyes searching routinely for Tonya’s car. He hadn’t seen her at the centre since New Year with Jake seemingly finding others to give him a lift to and from jujitsu classes, but he was pretty sure that she wouldn’t miss his competition. However, there was a part of him that didn’t want to see her knowing that it could be to painful to be so close to her and not be able to talk to her, hold her hand or kiss her. It was too soon, his feelings too raw.

After changing into his GI and fastening his belt Brian sat on the bench of the changing room away from everyone else. Quietly he watched as Jake walked into the room to get changed. As the teenager glanced around the room as if he was looking for someone he lowered his gaze to the floor, not wanting to make eye contact.

Spotting Brian lowering his gaze, Jake took the hint and changed quickly into his GI and left the changing room, heading down the corridor into the gym where the competition was taking place. He had hoped that this would have been his opportunity to finally apologise to Brian for his behaviour. He had tried to apologise at each practice over the past month but Brian hadn’t made it easy, avoiding him wherever possible.

He would find a way to apologise to him, he had too. He couldn’t get him and his mother back together unless he and Brian had sorted out their differences, or at least his differences with Brian.

“Now there’s a future champion!” his grandmother cooed as he approached them.

He blushed slightly and shook his head, “Don’t get your hopes up gran, there’s a lot of kids here better than me today.”

“Oh sush, you were amazing in the last competition.” His mom added as the instructor called out his name and waved him over. “Good luck sweetie.”

“Thanks mom.” He said hugging her briefly before jogging over to where his instructor and the others who were taking part in the tournament, including Brian, were gathered.

Tonya watched as Jake made his way over to the others, her breath catching in her chest as she spotted Brian stood among the group. Quickly, she turned away, “Come on mom, lets get a good seat.”

“You’ll still be able to see him from wherever we sit you know.” she said as they walked towards the rows of seats.

“Well that’s the plan mother, I don’t want to miss my son winning do I?” she replied finding two empty seats.

“You know full well I was talking about Brian.” her mom said sitting next to her.

“I know.” she replied with a defeated exhale. “But he may not be able to see me.”

“You keep on believing that if you want but he’s glanced up here twice since we’ve sat down.” she said with a small smile watching as her daughter’s gaze found the tall muscular figure of the man who had made her so happy over the past few months. “I still don’t understand why you don’t just go and talk to him.”

“I can’t” she whispered quietly as Brian lifted his head once more, their eyes meeting for a brief moment, the two of them exchanging a small smile before they both looked away at the same time. “He was the one who called things off between us.”

“But he obviously still loves you.” she replied quietly.

“Mum, please, just leave it.” she sighed turning to see Sophia making her way towards them, relieved to be able to change the subject. “Hey lovely.”

“Hi Tonya, nice to meet you again Mrs Seward.” She said politely as she sat next to Tonya, the gym soon after going quiet for the start of the tournament.

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A small proud smile slipped onto Brian’s lips as he watched Jake accept his medal. He had grappled well and was very deserving of the medal which he was currently grasping tightly as he waved up to his mom who was stood in the crowd watching him with pride.

As the official moved on to award another medal to a young girl Brian’s gaze lingered on Tonya once more, watching as she wiped what he assumed to be a tear from her cheek. Quickly he averted his eyes, before she realised he was watching her again and turned his attention back to the official who was giving out the medals.

When the official came and stood in front of him he accepted his medal with a faint smile, lowering his gaze once he had shook the guys’ hand. In a contrast to Jake he didn’t have anyone in the crowd to wave up to.

He was grateful when the medal giving was over and he could head back into the changing room. As soon as he was changed he was going to ring the guys, there was bound to be someone willing to join him at a bar. He needed to drink until he forgot.

He was the first one in the changing room, stripping quickly from is GI and heading straight for the showers while the others were all likely to be showing off their medals to their family and friends in the crowd. He didn’t take long to shower and get changed, quickly packing up kit bag again as the others began to make their way into the changing area.

He was walking towards the door when it opened, Jake the one pushing it open, a huge smile on his face. they both stopped in their tracks.

“Well done dude.” Brian said quietly with a small smile.

“Cheers, you too.” he replied as Brian took a step forward, making his way past Jake and out into the corridor. “Brian?”

Brian stopped again, turning to face the teenager. “Yeah?”

Jake took a deep breath, “I’m sorry. For New Years. I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Don’t worry about it.” he replied quietly.

“No, I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was drunk. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” He said sincerely.

“Like I said, don’t worry about it. It’s forgotten.” He said with a faint smile, turning once more to walk away.

Watching Brian walk away, Jake sighed. At least he could say he’d tried now. But it wasn’t good enough. He was still a long way from getting Brian and his mom back together again.

Turning back to the changing rooms, he quickly showered and changed before making his way out to the lobby where his mom, gran and Sophia were waiting for him.

“Did you speak to him?” Sophia asked quietly as they walked out across the parking lot.

“Yeah, I apologised to him.” he replied in a whisper.

“And?” she asked.

“And nothing, he said not to worry about it.” he said defeated.

“Well it’s a start I guess.” She said with a small smile.

“I guess, we just need to get him and mom talking again, but I don’t think that’s going to be easy.” He said as they approached the car.

“What are you two whispering about?” Tonya asked with a smile.

“They’re probably trying to come up with a way of ditching us oldies.” His gran teased.

“Well they can wait until after we’ve had a celebratory meal first.” Tonya replied as they got into the car.

“I’ll explain later, but I may have an idea.” Sophia whispered with a smile, which Jake mirrored, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Okay, so where do you wanna go eat?” Tonya asked.

“Can we go to Stonefire’s? I’m actually pretty starving.” Jake asked.