Inspire.

The clouds chased each other across a dull sky, reflecting starkly in the recently accumulated puddles on the asphalt. A tiny drizzle remained, though the distant thunder threatened a potential opening of the sky. She wouldn’t have minded, she realized, as she slowly paced across the burning black. She caught her mangled reflection occasionally in a passing collection of water, and she would avert her eyes as soon as she could.

The tiny droplets began to trail down her skin, delivered with a heavier force as the rain began to come down once more. She barely noticed. The rain simply mixed with the silent tears that sought down her cheeks, collecting on the ground in a unanimous meeting place. A roll of thunder caused her to look up briefly, her shining eyes reflecting the fork of lightning that now shot through the clouds.

There were buses all around her, but there was one in particular that she strode towards. She knew it would be empty, knew it would be a place to wait out the storm, both elemental and emotional. The door slid open at her touch, allowing her to climb in and gently close it behind her.

The bunks on either side of her were torn apart, and she normally would have smiled at the catastrophic appearance. But she bypassed the view this time, her legs carrying her to the room in the back; the spare room that no one used. The bed was made, as it always was, untouched and serene. She simply crawled onto it, her chest constricting with an immeasurable sadness that nearly choked her. She faced the wall on her side, hugging her knees to her chest, and she allowed the tears to fall, trickle slowly across her skin to be absorbed by the pillowcase. She could feel the stain of her mascara, but she no longer cared about her appearance.

Not now that she was alone.

She closed her eyes, biting her lip softly, and wished for the pain to evacuate her system.

It had been one year ago today, and she still felt a gaping hole in her heart.

She missed her best friend.

Memories flooded her mind, of a girl with a shock of blue hair, laughing about tripping on the sidewalk. Of a beautiful young woman pushing a shopping cart comically through a drive thru. Of her best friend, her little sister, hugging her tightly, the tears from both of their happinesses mixing together wordlessly.

She just wanted her back.

She heard the door open quietly, but she did not open her eyes. She did not want to lose those images, those last remaining shards of remembrance that she clung to so desperately. They were what held her together, what helped her to carry on.

The bed sank beside her, and she felt a pair of arms encircle her tightly curled form, hugging her closely to the body behind her. She could feel his soft breath on her ear, his fingers rubbing gentle patterns along her side. Her small fingers snaked between his, holding his hand tightly as she spoke.

“I miss her, Gerard,” she murmured, her voice breaking slightly. “So, so much.”

“I know, sugar,” he sighed, his chin leaning easily against her shoulder. He did not elaborate, and she took his silence as a comfort. She let out a shaky breath, the tears still escaping from behind her eyelashes.

“I don’t want to hurt anymore,” she whispered, barely audible, her eyes clenching shut again as a fresh wave of pain caused her body to shiver. He sat up, his hands supporting her small form as he pulled her against him, her face pressing into the fabric of his jacket. Her frame was wracked with silent sobs, and he held her as close to his body as he could, his free hand stroking her hair as he offered gentle coos of reassurance.

“Shhh,” he breathed, his lips pressing against the top of her head. They stayed that way for a while; him holding onto her for his own strength, and her holding onto him for her own comfort. He pulled away just enough to observe her face, to wipe away the stray tear with his thumb.

“You’re okay,” he said, his eyes telling her the same. “She wouldn’t want you to be sad,” he murmured, offering her a small smile. “Remember what she told you?”

“Inspire,” she responded softly, her eyes falling to where her fingers wove themselves together, “You have in so many ways.” A few more tears fell down her cheeks, and she bit her lip, looking to the side, avoiding his gaze. She sniffed gently, a small whimper escaping her lips as she sank again into quiet tears.

“Hey, hey,” he chided tenderly, bringing her face in front of his. “She loved you,” he told her, his fingers brushing the hair from the side of her face. “She wanted to give you the world. She wanted you to be happy.” He felt his heart twist under her broken gaze, but his thumb stroked her skin easily, soothingly.

“Can you do that for her?”

She swallowed thickly, nodding slowly and flashing him a small watery smile.

“That’s my girl,” he said, bringing her against his chest in an embrace. Her arms clung to him in return, and she inhaled unstably, trying to calm her breathing. She instead focused on the steady beating of his heart; a heart that she knew she could count on to remain active.

As long as she had that, she thought that maybe, maybe, things would be alright.

As long as she had him, she would never be alone again.