I'm Feeling Things Are About to Change

“You’re still in bed?” Luke asked after he had walked in from his full day of riding.

I just let out a grunt and rolled over, pulling the covers with me to hide myself from him. I hadn’t moved from here for two days now. I played the ‘I don’t feel good’ card. Of course, being pregnant, Luke bought it… for the first day. This morning he asked if I wanted to come and watch him ride…in the backyard, but I said no. He didn’t like it, but… I’m moody…and feel like my best friend hates me.

“Kylee,” he sighed while walking over to the other side of the bed. He sat down next to me, but I kept my eyes to wall. “I know you’re pregnant and you have all these mood swings, but… you can’t just be moping around all day,” he said while rubbing my back, being the sweetheart that he is.

“I just… I feel like I messed up big time and… I don’t know if I can fix it,” I replied, hearing my voice crack.

Luke didn’t say anything. All he did was lay down next to me and wrap his toned, tattooed arms around my growing waist. I leaned into him, relaxing some, but… it didn’t make anything go away.

“I always hurt people. Everyone I love, I hurt some how,” I rambled.

“No, you don’t, baby,” Luke tried to sooth. “You just thought you were doing the right thing and I did too. We can’t take it back, but… we can try and do whatever we can to fix it,” he spoke softly as his large hand kept rubbing my back.

I cried onto his shoulder. I felt like there was nothing else I could do, but cry. Granted, that wouldn’t make anything better, but it’s the only thing I could do. It helped that Luke was here. Just hearing his voice made things a little better. I just wanted things back to normal!

“How about,” he started after my tears slowed. “I go hop in the shower and then we go see your parents. We’ll start there and then start telling only the people we want. How’s that sound?” he asked while running his hand through my hair.

I nodded my head and reached up to wipe my eyes. A small smile came over him before he reached over and left a soft kiss on the top of my head, making me smile. I love my Lukie.

He got up and went into the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I tried concentrating on the water falling in the shower, but it wasn’t helping. I hated how upset Kirstie was… and I just walked away. I seemed to be good at that. Walking away from everyone when the going gets tough.Just like I did when Jeremy passed away.

The water in the shower stopped. A few minutes later, I thought I heard Luke’s voice. He doesn’t talk to himself. Who is he talking to? When I asked him, he said it was no one. Ok… maybe my pregnancy hormones are making me crazy now.

We drove to my parents’ in silence. I kept sighing every now and then, trying to keep the contents of my stomach down. I don’t think it’s the baby’s doing either. I think I’m just flat out nervous. Luke took notice and reached over for my hand. Once they were laced, he brought mine up to his lips and left a soft kiss. This simple of actions made me smile. But once we pulled up to my parents’ house… that quickly faded.

Luke didn’t give me any time to pout. He hurried over to my side of the car and tugged on my hand to get me out. It made me giggle and follow him through the front door. I was still smiling at his cute little actions, but then my eyes laid on a certain someone… Josh… was sitting on the couch with my parents. I went to turn the other way, but Luke kept his arm around my waist tightly. I sighed as he led me over to the sofa across from everyone… My stomach started acting up again.

“Kylee and I have amazing news,” Luke started in his hyperactive way. “Right, baby?” he went on, nudging me.

I sighed and dropped my eyes to the ground. These are my parents… and Josh. But he probably already knows if Kirstie does. What if my parents know already? Are they going to be just as mad as Kirstie was? But Luke reached over and took my hand, making me feel a little at ease.

“We’re… having a… baby,” I finally pushed out.

My mom’s face lit up and she came rushing over to me. She hugged Luke and I tightly, making me smile. But once she went back over to sit down, I noticed Josh’s face. He didn’t look happy at all even though he was holding his daughter. This made my smile fade.

“How far along are you?” my mom asked, still excited.

“Almost… three months,” I pushed out.

It was silent for a few seconds. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. This isn’t going to go very well.

“Did you just… find out?” she asked much quieter than before.

“No… we knew for a while now. I just… “ I couldn’t finish. Luke reached over and placed his warm hand on my back, rubbing it gently, willing me to go on. “I didn’t want to have a baby before I was married and…”

“So, that’s why you’re rushing the wedding,” my dad said.

“No… I didn’t want people to think that either,” I sighed.

“So, you just hide it from the people that love you most?” Josh piped in.

“I wasn’t hiding it,” I shot at him… but I couldn’t think of other words.

“That’s why Kirstie was so upset the other day,” my mom put together.

“She still is,” Josh added, making me feel so much better! No one asked him to be here!

“You haven’t talked to her since then?” my mom shot at me. All I could do was shake my head no. “Why are you here then? Go talk to her!” she went on.

“I don’t know if I can,” I said in a voice so small that I barely heard it myself.

“Kylee, she’s been your best friend ever since I can remember. There shouldn’t be anything you two can’t talk about. Why don’t you think you can?” she asked in her motherly way.

“I don’t know… I’m just tired of having sympathy from people. I got enough of that with Jeremy. I don’t want people to be like oh, look at that girl. She lost her brother and now she’s pregnant and not married.” I vented.

Luke reached over and hooked his arm around me. I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face again. I haven’t been able to talk to my parents about Jeremy at all. I know this was probably a shocker to them, but… it’s how I felt.

“You should just go talk to her. She may be mad, but… she still cares about you a lot,” Josh spoke before anyone else could.

I looked up at Luke and he had a caring look in his dark brown eyes. He sent me a smile before kissing the top of my head.

“I’ll drop you off there if you want me too,” he said softly with his lips still pressed against my skin.

I sucked in a big gulp of air and… nodded my head. Luke and I got up while saying goodbye to Josh and my parents. I wasn’t too sure what I was going to say to Kirstie yet, but… I knew I was doing the right thing now. I just hope it makes everything right again.