I'm Feeling Things Are About to Change

“Going on tour used to be my favorite thing to do. That’s what I looked forward too but now…I dread going,” I sighed as Josh and I lay in bed on the morning I had to leave.

“I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want you to go but I think you’ll have fun once you get down there,” He tried to soothe as he stroked my hair.

“I’m going to miss you guys so much. Going a month without seeing you and Danni is going to kill me, especially our baby girl,” I said before burying my face in Josh’s chest.

“You’ll be okay baby. We’ll web chat every day and you know I’ll be texting you constantly,” Josh grinned.

“Yeah,” I sighed while running a hand through my hair.

“You should probably get dressed and ready to go. Danny and Kevin will be here to pick you up soon,” He softly said.

“I guess so,” I agreed but took a very long time to get up.

When I finally did I quickly pulled on some jeans and I scanned my closet, most of which had been packed up, but I looked for a shirt. My eyes wandered over to Josh’s side and I saw all of his jerseys hanging. My lips curled into a small smile and I grabbed one of his old ones that he doesn’t wear anymore.

I took in it’s familiar scent that smelled just like Josh…vanilla. yum. I grinned as I walked out of the bathroom but when I did I saw the most adorable sight in the entire universe!

Josh was chasing our daughter around the room while they were both loudly laughing. If that wasn’t cute enough Danni had apparently taken off her pajamas and was running around in her diaper and Josh was in his boxers.

As she was running Danni tripped and fell to the floor in a fit of giggles. Josh whose laughs were just as plentiful, scooped her up and tossed her onto the bed then went on to tickle her bare tummy.

“Ma ma, ma ma. Come!” Danni squealed once her big caramel eyes landed on me.

“Yeah come,” Josh grinned. He ran over to me and scooped me up the same way he had with Danni and threw me on the bed next to our giggling daughter.

“Now I’m going to get both of you,” Josh cutely said while starting to tickle us, causing us to laugh loudly.

“Josh stop,” I choked out through my laughter. “I’m going to pee my pants.”

“Only if I get kisses from both my girls,” He said.

“Wanna give Daddy kisses, Danni?” I asked our daughter.

She put her finger on her chin as she was thinking but once she looked from me, to josh, then back at me she got a big smile and squealed in her little slurred way ”Da da gets kisses!”

“Let’s get him Danni,” I laughed while pulling my hunky and attractive husband down onto the bed and crawled on him along with Danni as both of us started covering him with kisses making him let out loud laughs then kiss us back.

After all of our laughs had died down and we were out of breath Josh laid on his back and opened up his arms. I cuddled up to his side and laid my head on his shoulder while Danni crawled on top of him and laid on his chest.

Josh locked his arms around both of us then I brought my hand up and gently stroked Danni’s hair.

“I wuv you ma ma,” Danni said as her eyes rested on me.

“I love you too sweetheart,” I told her while kissing her forehead.

“I wuv you da da,” She said next while looking up at him.

“I love you Danni, so much,” He softly said while leaving a kiss on her soft cheek.

“Aw, Grant family moment,” two annoying voices rang.

“Yeah, it was until you interrupted it,” I shot at them while throwing a pillow their way.

“Kevie! Day!” Danni squealed while getting up and giving both of my bandmates a hug and kiss. It was always confusing when Danny was around because he’s Danny and our daughter is Danni. When she started talking she called Kevin – Kevie. I understand that because I call him Kev so she added the –ie but she started calling Danny – Day….why she does that….no one knows. But Danny thought it was cute so he never corrected her.

“You ready to go Kirstie?” Kevin asked me a few minutes later.

“No,” I told them while burying my face in Josh’s chest. “I don’t wanna.”

“Well we have to leave soon,” Danny added.

“It’s a private jet! It’s not going to leave without us!” I countered.

“But remember, we’re touring with All Time Low and they’re coming with us. They’re actually waiting on the plain right now.”

“I’m going to miss you guys so much,” I cooed with tears welling in my eyes while pulling Danni and Josh in for a family hug.

“Ma ma, no bye bye,” Danni whined. Those few little words had the power to kill me.

That’s when I lost it, I couldn’t handle that. I broke down and started flatout bawling. I already was having a hard enough time with the thought of leaving my two favorite people that I love so much for a month, but hearing my baby say that just killed me.

“Kirstie, it’ll be okay. Trust me,” Josh tried to soothe me. “Do you trust me?”

“Yeah…but I’m just going to miss you so much,” I cried.

“Just trust me baby, it’ll be okay,” He reassured. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said while hugging onto him and Danni. “I love you Danni,” I said while giving her a big hug and so many kisses.

After 10 or so minutes of this I finally took a deep breath and slowly and sadly walked toward the door where Danny and Kevin were standing.

“Ma ma!” Danni called out from Josh’s lap.

I looked back and saw her with her arms held out for me and big tears coming out of her caramel eyes that looked just like Josh’s.

“Danni, I love you. I’m sorry I have to leave,” I said with tears as I ran back and gave her more kisses.

“It’s okay, baby, she’ll be okay. I got her,” Josh told me.

“Kirstie, we have to leave,” Danny said with a hand on my shoulder.

I gently nodded my head, gave another round of kisses to my Grants, then slowly walked out the door with tears streaming down my face. Danny put his arm around me and Kevin held my hand. They were probably making sure I wouldn’t run backand I would have too! I hate this…. I hope Josh is right and it’ll be better once I get there….