It Is Just A Child's Game

The drive home was silent except for Frankie constantly talking; however, soon enough, he fell asleep in the back seat of John's truck. Cahlen sat silently in the front seat, her fingers tracing invisible things on the window.

John had agreed to drop them off Mr. Anderson had some emergency to attend to and couldn't come to pick up the two of them. Even though he knew it was the right thing to do, John silently wished that he had left the two of them in the restaurant. The silence and tension was too much for him to bare. Lunch had been fine because the little one just couldn't run out of things to say, but now that he passed out asleep, things were unbelievably awkward and uncomfortable. Cahlen and John hadn't spoken any words directly to each other, opting to having conversations through Frankie instead. And up to now, their unspoken rule on silence was kept as they arrived in front of the house.

John got out and lifted the small boy in his hands as Cahlen went ahead and held the door open for him. They both went upstairs and tucked Frankie in as he remained peacefully asleep. After, the two went down and stood by the front door.

"Thanks for the ride, John." Cahlen said as she ran her head through her hair and stared at the ground.

"You're welcome." John replied, turning around to leave.

"I am sorry for last week." Cahlen mumbled. "I am sorry for blaming Frankie's accident on you when you really were at no fault."

"It's fine." John said, turning around again to face her. "You were stressed, and I so was I, and the situation just wasn't good."

Cahlen simply nodded and continued to stare at the ground. John turned again, ready to leave, when she decided to speak up again.

"I still have your jacket! Do you want me to get it?"

"Um, yes please."

"Okay, just wait in the living room while I go up and get it."

John nodded and made his way to the couch that he had spent many hours on. He looked around the room and realized that not much had changed in the years. The same mahogany table. The same carpet. Only a few pictures were added and removed here and there. Memories floated through his mind, some good, some bad. Soon though, his eyes landed on a photo at one of the end tables. It was from the day of their High School graduation. Sure enough, there was a special medal around Cahlen's neck that symbolized her narrow miss at being Valedictorian thanks to a certain class where she passed the main project a little too late. That was most probably the last time he saw her before she left. He remembered seeing her go up on stage for the special award and wanting to cheer for her, but he held back as he tried to keep up the facade.

The next day had been weird. He was woken up by his mom, and was asked if he had heard or seen Cahlen last night or early that morning. He hadn't. She wasn't at the party the previous night. Hell, she hadn't been to a party in months. That's when he found out that she had simply left, leaving everything and a simple good bye post-it for her family.

John had been surprised. He had never expected her to just get up and go. Sure things were horrible for her, but he was sure that she loved her family whole heartedly.

He heard footsteps coming his way, and he knew it was Cahlen with his jacket.

"Why did you leave?" The words came out of his mouth before he could do anything.

The footsteps stopped, and he looked up to see her just staring at him. He stayed silent. Although he didn't mean to ask the question, he already did, so he might as well get an answer.

"Did you expect me to stay?" She replied after some time as she gave him his jacket and sat on a chair across John.

"I mean, why did you leave so suddenly and out of no where? Not saying good bye to anyone. Not even your family." He replied. "I mean, like, Kennedy and Garret were sore for days on."

As Cahlen looked at him, she saw in his eyes that he didn't just mean his two bandmates.

"I don't know. I didn't have the heart to say good bye." She said with a shrug. "Besides, I didn't think Kennedy or Garret would mis me."

"Did you cheat on me?" John asked, deciding it was now or never.

"No, John, I did not cheat on you, and would never cheat on anyone." Cahlen replied, sounding tired. "Despite what you and everyone else said, I really didn't get around much."

"Then, why did you not tell me about Frankie?" John asked, staring straight into Cahlen's bright blue eyes.

"Because, John," Cahlen said, looking away. "He isn't your son or anything, so you have nothing to worry about."

John just couldn't understand the information he was receiving. There was no way that Frankie wasn't his if she had been only with him. The numbers just didn't add up. Confused and still angry from the night before, John stood up and got ready to leave.

"There were many things I assumed you to be, Cahlen." John said with as much hatred as he felt. "But I never made you up to be a liar. Despite all your actions and stupidity, I always thought you were at least brave and proud enough to live up to them."

"I don't understand, John."

"It's either one or another. It's either you were sleeping with someone else while you were sleeping with me, or Frankie is my son. But even I don't believe you are cruel enough to keep someone's son away from him, so you must have been sleeping around. I always knew you were a whore."

"John, you don't understand! When it was you and me, it was ONLY you and me. No one else."

"Then explain it to me! Explain how it is possible that you have a son who is practically four years old, who isn't mine, yet were only having sex with me!!"

"You just don't get it, John! I can't explain it. It's long and complicated!"

"Just what I thought. You were a whore back then, and are still one now. I guess somethings never change."

"I am not a whore! I don't know what I did to you to deserve this or to ever break your trust for you to do what you are doing to me now, and did to me before. I have been tormented by you for years!! And when you finally decide to be nice to me, you just broke my heart and left it out for everyone to poke fun at. You've been a true dick and I don't even understand why I let you bring me down like so!"

"It's because you know it's true! Deep down, past all the lies you tell yourself, you know that you just can't be trusted. No one loves you, and you keep up this facade so that no one will bother you. I see past through it, Cahlen. No one loves you, and so you give yourself away to feel loved! But really, you are just a whore who gets passed around! You were with me, and now you're with Halvo."

"What are you talking about, O'Callaghan?"

"I saw you two making out last night! Slobbering all over each other! You just couldn't wait to get your hands on anything, anyone! Just a whore deep down inside!"

"Get out of my house." Cahlen replied, calm as a rock.

"What?" John said, taken aback.

"I said get the fuck out of my house, O'Callaghan!"

And he left without another word.

John got in his car and slammed the door shut. He ran his hand through his hair and pulled at it, realizing how stupid he had been. Barely anything he said made sense, and he didn't mean half of it. He just said it to hurt her. He wanted to see her squirm and get angry. To make her feel the pain he did when he saw her making out with Halvo last night. It was crazy. He didn't understand why he couldn't just get over her and move on. He used to dream of seeing her again and getting back together. To hold hands and go on dates, and to actually be able to tell people they are together. But those were dreams of the past. She wasn't good for him, and he wasn't good for her. All they have together is a great big mess.

Cahlen broke down and collapsed in the middle of the foyer. She didn't understand why she let his words hit her so hard. He was a dick, and a bastard who did nothing but hurt her, but still, her heart belonged to him. There was nothing she could do. As damaged as it was, it still belonged to him even though he didn't know it. He didn't know how much pain and grief he brought on. He didn't know how much and how often she thinks of him and all those moments they shared. He didn't know how much she hated herself for somehow getting him to hate her.

"Kaykay," a soft voice sounded over her sobs.

She looked up and saw the little boy, standing at the top of the stairs with his little brown teddy bear.

"Yes, honey bun?" She coughed out as she wiped the tears from her face.

"You were fighting like momma and pops." he said, looking scared.

"I am sorry, Frankenstein." Cahlen replied as she stood up and walked towards him. "I didn't mean to get in a fight. It won't happen again, I promise."

"I miss momma, Kaykay." Frankie whispered in her ear as she carried him back to bed.

"I know, you do, and you'll get to see her once things are better, okay?" Cahlen said.

"Okay" He replied before falling back to sleep.