Fatal Attractions

"What the fuck are you talking about, Sam? This shit isn't funny!" Dean bellowed angrily.

After I had recovered from my breakdown, I explain to Sam what I had dreamed about. In my reality, everything I had experienced was real. But to Sam, it looked like I had just been having a horrible nightmare. I did my best to leave out information he didn't need to know.

Like me being anything else other than human. Or the old man who I've seen twice now. I only told him about my father. I told him that Azazel told me my father was alive. Demons were notorious for telling the truth to spite their victims. Lucky enough for me, the boys bought it.

"I'm not making a joke. Matthew is alive. Why would Ells make something like this up?" Sam snapped back.

Dean looked at me. "I'm not making it up, Dean."

"Okay, so if your dad's really alive what does this mean? That his death was a fake?"

"I don't know. But if there is even the slightest possibility of him being alive, I'm going to search for him." I said, feeling confusion spread within me.

I had a few words that I wanted to tell Castiel. That lying son of a bitch. How could he sit there and lie to me straight to my face? He said my father was resting in Heaven peacefully. So how was he alive?

"That's out of the question, Ellz." Dean said, leaning against the fridge.

"Why?"

"Because we're not going to have a wild goose chase over a man who we both saw die! Azazel's a demon. They lie!"

"What could he possibly gain from lying to me about this?!" I shouted back, feeling the desperation creep over me.

"I don't know, but I will not let you run after something that may not even be here anymore!"

I growled as I got in Dean's face. "What if it was John? You would do anything you could to find him! Even if there was only a slight possibility he was still alive, wouldn't you?"

"Well, this isn't him! And I said, no! End of discussion!" Dean shouted, silencing me.

I felt the tears brim my eyelids. How could he just say no like that? Before I could realize what I was doing, my fist had already come into contact with Dean's face. All the anger that had built up within me through this whole fight came out in that one hit.

I heard Sam shout for me as I ran out the motel. I didn't know where I was running. All I knew was that I wanted to get away. I wanted to disappear from them. I wanted to know the truth. Was my father still alive? And if he was, why had he lied to me? Why had he disappeared from my life?

I cried out in surprise as I tripped over a root sticking up from the ground. I slowly picked myself up. I was lost in a forest. How far had I run? Looking around, I saw nothing but trees. I shook my head as I pulled my knees to my chest.

What was going on? Why did I have to be born with this sort of life? What had I done so wrong in my past life that God had to treat me so unfairly? I chuckled to myself. How pathetic had I become? I knew what coming back with the boys meant. I just didn't think it would cost me this much.

Slowly, I pulled myself up from the ground. Sitting here feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to get me any answers. I was stronger than all this. If Sam and Dean weren't going to help me, then I'd do it myself. I just had to do what I have always done. Research.

First, I would get as much information from Castiel, Azazel, and Allister as I could. Then, hopefully, I'd be able to find that old man again. Maybe he'd be able to help me as well. I knew he wanted something from me. Maybe we could help each other.

I dusted myself off with a new resolve. I knew what had to be done.

"Castiel!" I shouted at the night sky. "Where the hell are you?"

"What is it?"

I turned around and glared at him. "How the hell could you lie to me about my father?"

"I could not tell you the truth when you were already in so much pain."

"So instead to lie to me! I would have been happy to know my father was alive and well. He's my father!" I snapped.

"He is not the man you think he is!" Castiel shouted.

I felt taken back. What?

"What are you talking about?"

"Matthew is not the man he who you think he is. Do not pursue him, Ellie."

"Why not?"

"I cannot tell you. Just trust me." And with that, he disappeared.

I glared at the spot he once stood. Gee, some help he was. I sighed as I braced myself for the two people I had to summon next. As much as I hated them, they would give me my answers. Even if I had to hurt it out of them.

"Ellie! Oh, how I've missed you!" I heard Allister say.

I glared at the duo of demons. "Save it. I only called you here for some answers."

"Answers?" Azazel asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"My father. Is he alive?"

Azazel and Allister's expressions changed. They both had their eyes narrowed at me. The look of disgust on their faces had thrown me off guard. Something was clearly going on here.

"Don't even try it, Ellie." Azazel said.

"What?"

"Don't try looking for that man. He's not someone you should be getting involved with. He's unstable."

Allister just glared at me. I felt my gut sink even more when they both disappeared. Was my father that bad of a man that neither Angels or demons want to tell me where he is? What kind of person was he? What had he done to them? And just how was he unstable?

I knew the only choice I had now was to try to get a hold of that old man again. Maybe he would be willing to tell me more. Whatever the case, I knew I had to get back to the Winchester's. I wasn't safe at this point.