Dear Diary, I'm Not Normal

The cars were crowded. I ended up sitting in Alecia’s car next to Daniel and Maggie. Alecia sat in the front with her mom.

“Off to the mall!” Alecia screamed. She giggled and turned up the radio. Maggie sighed and put in her headphones. She closed her eyes. It was too early for her too. I rested my head back and closed my eyes as well.

“Tired?” Daniel asked. I fluttered my eyes open.

“Yeah a little,” I responded in a whisper and a yawn. I tried to get comfortable again. Nothing was right.

“Here, lean on me,” he said calmly. “I mean-” he blurted, “you don’t have to but-” I rolled my eyes while he rambled and shut him up by getting acquainted with his shoulder. At first it was a little bony, but he rolled it a little so I rested on the soft part, right before his neck. For a second, I could almost hear his heart beat.

My mind was lost in the sounds of the humming car, the radio and Daniel’s constant tapping on the car door. Suddenly, I felt a movement on my side. Daniel slid his arm out of his place crushed between both of our bodies and put it over my shoulder. My head slid down a little toward his chest.

“Shit,” he whispered. I think he thought I was asleep. I smiled and jossled around to prove I was comfortable. Now, I could hear his heart beat.

“Thump…thump…thump…” it went. I smiled to myself and gently wrapped my arms around him. It was harder than I expected, but he seemed to help out by bending his back forward so I could slip my hand in between him and the seat. I listened closely to his heart now.

“Thump-thump, thump-thump,” faster. He was so cute. I gripped him tight and though to myself.

“I think I love him.”

Before I knew it, the ride to the mall was over and we idled in front of the mall entrance. I shifted, finally sitting up again.

“You fell asleep,” Daniel smiled at me. He flipped his dark hair out of his face, revealing his beautiful green eyes.

“No I didn’t,” I smiled back.

“Ha, yes you did!” Alecia yelled back. “I was screaming at you and you didn’t even flinch!”

I didn’t remember that.

“I guess I did then,” I smiled a sheepish smile, then cuddled back into Daniel. “You’re just so comfortable I pass out on you!” Daniel laughed. I heard a car door open the close.

“Sorry, gotta get out!” I heard Alecia through the door and glass. She opened the door. Simultaneously, Daniel and I whined, “do we have to?” He looked at me and blushed. I sat up and pushed him playfully out of the seat, and he stumbled into the road by Alecia.

Maggie got out too, and we met up with our other friends who were idled behind our car. Once we were al accounted for and ready to go, we ventured into the mall.

Hours went by like minutes and it was already five o’clock. We had picked out our outfits by then. Everyone was something different. I helped Alecia pick out things for her dead bride look, and Daniel and I sort of matched with our vampire costumes. Julia on the other hand was sort of bummed about her costume, being it was a mummy. Though, it was the only one we could find in her petite and thin size that wasn’t for a little kid who dressed up like a princess or fairy.

Now we were just wandering aimlessly around the mall.

“Now what’ya wanna do?” Alecia asked.

“Sit. My feet are killing me,” Julia passed out on a vacant bench. We all gathered near her, some sitting and some standing.

Daniel sat down on the floor next to the bench and opened his legs a bit. I sat in between them and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I squeaked, for it was ticklish at first, and everyone looked over at us.

“Aw,” Julia smiled. I sighed. “Why didn’t you guys hook up earlier?” I rolled my eyes. I was about to answer, when Daniel’s cell phone went off.

“Yeah?…oh…ugh, fine…now?…okay…” he hung up. “I gotta go,” he bent his legs his legs, a cue for me to move. “I forgot my parents were going out. Gotta watch my bro,” he sighed.

“Aw, damn you were comfy,” I sighed kiddingly. He winked at me. I think he was getting over this whole shy thing.

“Yeah, see you later guys,” he said to the group. Half of them heard and waved goodbye. The others were lost in conversation to notice. “Bye Ry,” he smiled and bent down to me, seeing he was a few inches taller. He pecked me on the cheek. My face felt hot and I smiled, then looked away.

“Bye,” I whispered shyly. He turned around and disappeared into the crowd.

“So, now that he’s gone, let’s say we get jiggy with it,” Alecia said puckering her lips to me.

“Oh shut up Alecia, it’s not like you haven’t been kissed before,” I glared at her a little.

“Ha true, true,” she sighed. “But I’m still upset!”

“Why?” I asked.

“We were an ITEM! Then…you replaced me!” she cried. She was referring to our conversation when I told her about Daniel asking me to the dance.

I continued the act. “Well…he’s not here now, is he?” I winked at her.

“Oh my, are you flirting with me?” she giggled.

“Am I?” I said more seductively. She laughed at my attempt.

“Eh you can’t be seductive. But you’re cute, I’ll give you that,” she shrugged. I laughed.

“Saddle up, guys!” Alecia called. All heads turned to her. “We’re going to the food court!”

The whole way there Alecia and I were acting as if we were a couple. People stared at us as we held hands through the mall. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Once we received food and devoured it at the food court, our “taxies” were here to pick us up.

We loaded in the car the same way we were this morning, only Alecia sat in the back with me and Maggie. Alecia still held my hand. No one talked in the car, so the only noise was the playing of the radio. I didn’t recognize the song, so I didn’t bother with it. I just thought to myself.

Maybe I…
No I don’t
Maybe…maybe just a little-
No, I just think I do. I don’t.
If I think about it, the feelings always been there…
It wasn’t about that.
The stomach aches? Could they?
Just weird cramps, that’s all.
I think I do.
No, I don’t.
Why are my eyes welling up?

“Riley?” Alecia waved her hand in front of me, bringing me back to earth. “Not again. RILEY!”

“I’m here, I’m here. Sorry,” I apologized. We were at my house. “Thanks for the ride! Bye,” I slid over to the door next to where Maggie formerly sat, letting go of Alecia’s hand, and opened the latch.

“Bye,” Alecia sighed. I turned and looked at her. She looked sullen.

“What’s wrong?” I mouthed.

“Nothing,” she mouthed back, giving me a pleasing smile. I smiled too, and then closed the door.

I ran to my front door, opened it, and ran to my room, collapsing on my bed. Without a warning, without a sign, without a reason I was aware of, I cried.