Status: One-Shot
I Always Will.
I Miss You.
Dear Bryce,
Ok... Ok, where to start....It's me again, Alex. I know, I know, I just wrote you a few weeks ago.... I guess I'm still waiting for you to respond, even though deep down... I know you never will.... You will probably never even read this...most likely, chances are, this will never even get to you... but I'm writing this anyways.
The reason I'm writing you this time is because.... well, I need closure. That's what my parents say at least... I don't think I need anything. I am fine just how things are. I guess maybe I should just be able to say this all out loud by now, but I mean, sometimes, it just helps to write things all down, so you don't forget exactly what it is you're trying to say... I don't know what I'm trying to say to you yet... but I'll figure it out.
It's April 12th today.... you know what that means right? Well, most likely, you don't... that means it would be our 3 years and 6 months-aversary... Ok, I know you would be laughing at me right now, you always thought that month-aversaries were stupid, but I think it's important, you know? I know that deep down Bryce, you kinda liked the idea. You would probably roll your eyes at me for even saying that, and I'll admit it is a little silly.... considering it has been, well, I don't know, a little over a year since you, since you left. Well, one year, 3 months and 12 days. I think I've kinda finished the process a bit.... and I might actually...almost come to terms with the fact that you're.... you're not going to be coming back to me. Ever. I think I'm pretty much out of that phase where I just laid on my bedroom floor, hoping that you would just show up on my doorstep.... like you used to sometimes, when we'd get into stupid fights, and then you'd feel bad, so you had to rush over and apologize... I miss that sometimes.
I guess... I mean, you know what? I'm doing... I'm doing okay. I'm getting there, baby steps. I've even, sorta, been seeing another girl. Her name is Shannon, she's a nice girl.... everyone keeps telling me it's great, and I'm making a step in the right direction, but it still doesn't exactly feel right. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's a really nice person... but it just... isn't the same. It's like.... once you've had the best, nothing can compare to it. You were the best.
They say that they're plenty of fish in the sea, ya know? But, I just... I feel like a fish in a freaking pond. I uh, I've been thinking a lot lately...about everything, you know, and last Wednesday, in class, we were talking about parallel universes... and how there are thousands, out there, somewhere. And I was thinking, that maybe, in some weird, parallel universe, maybe...just maybe, that Wednesday... last January... I've been thinking that what if, we hadn't had that stupid fight, and I hadn't yelled at you, and you hadn't left in such a hurry... I keep thinking, what if? And it makes me wonder if somewhere out there, in one of those universes... maybe I actually, chased after you... and we'd still be together, to this day. It's the what-ifs that kill me.
Sometimes...when I walk to school, I walk past your house, and I get this strange urge, to knock on the door... and I mean, I know it's really stupid, because there is no way you would answer it. Well, I guess technically, it's your old house now anyways. Nowadays, you know...you're quite far away, with your new life and all... Sometimes I wonder if you even remember me at all. You know I... I wish you would just talk to me... Give me some...little sign, that you do remember. Because you know what? I... I'm actually, not doing well. My life is actually....pretty shitty. And look at me, would you? I've gone this entire letter without using the 'L' word once. But I mean, looking at it realistically...I think...no, I know i would say that I still...I still love you. And the truth is...I'm kinda, really scared that I won't ever really...stop.
I hope they're...treating you well up there... because, I miss you more than anything.
I always will.
Love,
Alex.
Ok... Ok, where to start....It's me again, Alex. I know, I know, I just wrote you a few weeks ago.... I guess I'm still waiting for you to respond, even though deep down... I know you never will.... You will probably never even read this...most likely, chances are, this will never even get to you... but I'm writing this anyways.
The reason I'm writing you this time is because.... well, I need closure. That's what my parents say at least... I don't think I need anything. I am fine just how things are. I guess maybe I should just be able to say this all out loud by now, but I mean, sometimes, it just helps to write things all down, so you don't forget exactly what it is you're trying to say... I don't know what I'm trying to say to you yet... but I'll figure it out.
It's April 12th today.... you know what that means right? Well, most likely, you don't... that means it would be our 3 years and 6 months-aversary... Ok, I know you would be laughing at me right now, you always thought that month-aversaries were stupid, but I think it's important, you know? I know that deep down Bryce, you kinda liked the idea. You would probably roll your eyes at me for even saying that, and I'll admit it is a little silly.... considering it has been, well, I don't know, a little over a year since you, since you left. Well, one year, 3 months and 12 days. I think I've kinda finished the process a bit.... and I might actually...almost come to terms with the fact that you're.... you're not going to be coming back to me. Ever. I think I'm pretty much out of that phase where I just laid on my bedroom floor, hoping that you would just show up on my doorstep.... like you used to sometimes, when we'd get into stupid fights, and then you'd feel bad, so you had to rush over and apologize... I miss that sometimes.
I guess... I mean, you know what? I'm doing... I'm doing okay. I'm getting there, baby steps. I've even, sorta, been seeing another girl. Her name is Shannon, she's a nice girl.... everyone keeps telling me it's great, and I'm making a step in the right direction, but it still doesn't exactly feel right. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's a really nice person... but it just... isn't the same. It's like.... once you've had the best, nothing can compare to it. You were the best.
They say that they're plenty of fish in the sea, ya know? But, I just... I feel like a fish in a freaking pond. I uh, I've been thinking a lot lately...about everything, you know, and last Wednesday, in class, we were talking about parallel universes... and how there are thousands, out there, somewhere. And I was thinking, that maybe, in some weird, parallel universe, maybe...just maybe, that Wednesday... last January... I've been thinking that what if, we hadn't had that stupid fight, and I hadn't yelled at you, and you hadn't left in such a hurry... I keep thinking, what if? And it makes me wonder if somewhere out there, in one of those universes... maybe I actually, chased after you... and we'd still be together, to this day. It's the what-ifs that kill me.
Sometimes...when I walk to school, I walk past your house, and I get this strange urge, to knock on the door... and I mean, I know it's really stupid, because there is no way you would answer it. Well, I guess technically, it's your old house now anyways. Nowadays, you know...you're quite far away, with your new life and all... Sometimes I wonder if you even remember me at all. You know I... I wish you would just talk to me... Give me some...little sign, that you do remember. Because you know what? I... I'm actually, not doing well. My life is actually....pretty shitty. And look at me, would you? I've gone this entire letter without using the 'L' word once. But I mean, looking at it realistically...I think...no, I know i would say that I still...I still love you. And the truth is...I'm kinda, really scared that I won't ever really...stop.
I hope they're...treating you well up there... because, I miss you more than anything.
I always will.
Love,
Alex.