Sweet Child O' Mine

In 7th grade, I use to have this habit, where I'd wake up. Clean the house, and go back to sleep. I didn't know why, and I didn't know how it started. Waking up at 6 o'clock every morning to clean isn't something an average 7th grader would do. They'd usually sleep in, catch up on the sleep they didn't get during the week.

Avenged Sevenfold was playing at the Key Club one time during my cleaning frenzy, and they hadn't returned until 4:00 the next morning. And at six the next day I woke up, like I have been for a while, and began cleaning. At the time, I didn't think waking up that early was nothing unusal, no one ever saw me. But when Uncle Jimmy had to go in the kitchen to get a water, he spoted me. One arm in the sink holding a sponge, another one squirting soap on the dirty dish pans.

I remember it. Every detail exactly. My eyes, were wide like a deer in lights. And all Uncle Jimmy could do was raise an eyebrow at me, I blinked watching him walk over to the fridge slowly before grabing a water bottle and walking back upstairs to the guest room.

Later that day, everyone was together, and he asked me if I was really awake that early cleaning. All I could do was shrug in response and push the syrupy pancakes in my mouth that Maddi decided to make.

Since then, Uncle Jimmy has been calling me the Queen of Cleaning, because everytime he would wake up early on a Saturday, I would stand there, washing dishes, or folding laundry.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. At the time, girls my age were becoming best friends with there cell phones, and I was becoming best friends with a sponge and a Clorox Bleach Pen.

My 7th grade 'problem' would probably be the best explination as to why I was standing in my room, in front of my closet. My bathroom and bedroom was already cleaned besides the kitchen which was before I even decided to. Last year, Kita made it her job to clean the kitchen for us, she says it was her 'Community Service Project' whatever that meant.

As I stood in front of my closet I contemplated on whether or not I should tackle my closet and clean it. It hasn't been touched for over 3 years, and only awards, certificates and photos were stuck in there.

I decided I would. I wanted to clean. But something in the back of my head pushed me forward, towards the closet. I opened it, and starred at it for a few seconds.

It wasn't as packed as I thought it would be. Actually, everything was mostly together in boxes with labels on it. But scanning over the area with my eyes, you could catch a few pictures and certificates laying around places.

The middle shelf was my first job. All the boxes were labeled pictures, and most of the loose pictures were on this row. Grabbing the first box, and a pile of pictures that were on it, I sat on the ground and opened the box. Pictures over-flowed the box, and I was suprised that the box could even close.

The picture on the top, was a picture of Halley and I on from when we were around the age of 6. Each of us dressed up in a pink ballet costume. At the time, Uncle Matt and Maddi weren't dating, Maddi was just a real close friend to the band. When she told Dad that we needed to do something girly instead all boy things, she put us in ballet. It wasn't stupid, it was actually fun until Halley wanted to quit. And when she wanted to quit Dad made me quit. At the time, I had no idea why. Why I had to quit something I loved just because someone else did. But when I was 6, I was stupid. I had no idea what it felt like to be neglected, and looked down upon.

After seeing that picture, I pushed through the pile deeper, almost hitting the bottom of the box, until another picture caught my attention.

It was of Halley and Dad. Halley was no older than seven, and she was holding a guitar, sitting on Dad's lap. She was smiling one of her front teeth missing, as Dad was poking the empty spot in her mouth. The whole picture was odd, but what was even stranger was I was sitting in the background starring at the camera, my lip trembled out.

I didn't remember this, any of it. I don't even remember when Halley lost one of her front teeth. I flipped the picture over. In scribbled letters it said:

"Halley and Brian
8th birthday party"

I flipped the picture back over and stared at the younger version of myself. I looked so sad, and had no clue why. Could it have been that Dad was giving Halley attention?

While thinking of reasons why I didn't remember, something in the corner of my eye caught my attention. This something was white, with pink letters on the front. I picked it up, inspecting it.

"Happy Birthday!"

It said in big letters. On the cover was a girl with brown hair in pigtails, she was smiling huge. I opened it and read the inside.

"Happy 8th Birthday Halley

-Brian"

My voice caught in the back of my throat. And it was then I remembered it. I remembered it all. From the beginning of the day to the last few seconds of the night. I rememered it all.

It was our birthday, Dad got Halley a new guitar. It was the time she was really starting to get interested in it. I remember I asked for a purple pony. The fake kind. And that's all I asked. But what I got was anything near as significant as the pony. I received the card, ten dollars, and a kiss on the head. And now as I think of it, I'm suprised I was even kissed on the head.

I guess over 7 years, I learned to block out memories. The horrid memories that I never wanted to remember again. But obviously the picture I was holding just wanted to rip the seams that were covering those memories.

My hands tightened on the picture. My eyes going dry. And in just like the picture, my bottom lip began to tremble.

The first tear dropped, and suddenly all of them did.

Clorox Bleach Pens could fix ruined shirts, but can't repair fractured hearts.