Lullaby

To say the least, it was depressing not being able to dance. I still helped choreograph the dances for the team, but that was proving to be a difficult task in it's self. I was quickly growing frustrated with not being able to properly. I could tell the girl's were feeling my frustration and it was putting even more pressure on them. All in all, these last few weeks had been not too pretty.

I was even starting to struggle in a few of my classes, but I knew I'd be able to easily catch up. I was stressed out though, because mid term grades had been sent out yesterday... There were at least two C's on the report that I knew of, and that was not going to fly too well with Dad...

"Jas, can we talk?" Kelly asked as her and Megan walked over to me after practice.

"Of course, what's up?" I asked, packing my bag. They looked at each other wearily, neither of them obviously wanting to say what was on their minds. "Guys, just spit it out," I sighed, the knot in my stomach getting worse with each passing second.

"Jas... You know we love you," Megan started off.

"But..." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You know that these past few weeks have been a little rough with you being down because of you ankle," Kelly continued.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm really am trying..." I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"No one's saying you aren't, Jas. It's just, we think it might be best if someone else takes over the team so you can fully rest your ankle and get better sooner..." Megan finally blurted out.

My eyes widened as I registered the words they were saying. "I see..." I mumbled, feeling tears starting to pool in my eyes.

"Please don't be upset, Jas... We're just trying to think of what's best for the team... you know we love having you as our captain. I mean, you've come up with the best routines that we've had in the past couple of years. But... With your ankle and everything-"

"Don't worry, I get it," I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder and heading for the door of the gym.

"Jas, please don't be upset. We just-"

I turned, plastering the biggest smile on that I could. "Don't worry about it, I completely understand." With that, I walked out to my car and threw my bags in the backseat. I sat there for a few minutes, letting my mind register what had just happened.

Did it hurt? Hell yeah it did. But did I understand? Of course... Even if I didn't want to.

When I got home and realized Dad wasn't home, I tried calling him. After trying twice and both times it going to voice mail, I decided to just give up. This had been happening a lot lately. I mean, I understand that he has two bands and a radio show, but come on... He could at least show his face around here every once in a while.

Not wanting to be home alone, I decided to call Sam. "Hey, Jas what's up?"

"Do you feel like coming over and hanging out for a little bit?" I asked quietly.

"Sure, is everything okay?"

"I'll explain when you get here."

"Okay, I'll be there in fifteen."

I put my bags in my room, before changing and heading back down stairs. Just as I grabbed a water out of the fridge, the door bell rang. "Hey, come in," I said, giving him a small smile.

"You sounded pretty down on the phone," he said, taking me into a hug. "What's going on?"

"It's the team..." I sighed, sitting down on the couch.

"What about it? You never complain about the team..." He said, giving me a confused look.

"I know, because I never have a problem with it or the girls... But, today Megan and Kelly confronted me after practice. They basically said that things have been rough on everyone since I'm out of commission with my ankle. Which, I completely understand because it has been difficult. But... They basically decided that it would just be easier if someone else took over for me for a little while..."

"Oh, Jas..." He said, softly, giving me a sympathetic look.

"I don't know how to take it... You know?"

"What do you mean?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "I feel like I should be more upset... But for some reason as it sinks in more and more, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

He looked at me with a shocked expression. "But, Jas dance is your life."

"Yeah, it is and I'm not giving up on it... But at the same time, I really felt like I was starting to drown. I had the pressure from the team to make everything perfect. Then I had my grades and crap to deal with... I don't know, I'm just feeling really over whelmed lately..."

He reached over and pulled me into his arms. "Are you sure this is just about dance and your grades?"

"What else would there be?" I mumbled into his chest.

He was quiet for a moment, before he responded. "What about your dad?"

"What about him?"

"I know he's MIA a lot, Jas... Do you think that that could be subconsciously adding to everything else?"

"I don't know... Probably..." I wasn't used to talking about my dad to anyone other than my brother. So this felt a little strange...

"Maybe you should sit him down and talk with him. Tell him you need him around a little bit more for some moral support."

Oh, if he only knew... Dad was a very busy man. He didn't have time to deal with this petty, teenage crap that I was dealing with. I couldn't exactly blame him...

"It's hard to talk to him when he's never around," I sighed, deciding to just cuddle up into him.

"Well, if you want to get things figured out, Jas you're going to need to sit him down eventually."

I didn't bother answering him, I simply closed my eyes and let myself get lost in the comfort of his arms. I had never realized how comfy he really was... Before I knew it, sleep was taking over me.