Wide Awake, My Mistake

The day dragged on, pretty much like usual, lunch was fun, Jack, Zack, Rian and I shared a table in the canteen enjoying each others company and conversations. It was the best part about school for me; they were truly great friends, I’m lucky to have met them. The guys were in a band, they were awesome. I mean they would become something in the future; they would be well known, not just some band that practices in their parent’s garages. I never missed a practice with them, they just seemed to get better every time, apart from the fact their recent singer, Matt Brooke had to leave the band as he and his family were moving to the state of Oregon. Which was sad. Though I never really was friendly with him, for reasons I’d never know.
At the end of the day, I headed towards home, but to only hear my name being called from behind, I turned to find the one and only Alex Gaskarth. I rolled my eyes, before carrying on walking but yet again to be stopped by Alex’s hand on my shoulder, turning me around to face him.
“What?” I sneered.
“Look, I wanted to apologise for what I said today, I didn’t think you’d take it seriously, out of everything, I thought you would have been the same, I thought you would have thought I was joking” he muttered.
I shook my head at him in disbelief.
“You make my life a living hell, Alex. What did I ever do to you? Huh? I had enough of everything you said to me and I snapped. Hoping it would teach you a lesson, I slapped you. I would apologise, but you know it would be fake. You deserved it. Just stay away from me” I finally finished before turning back around and heading home, leaving Alex stood there watching as I walked away.
It wasn’t long before I finally reached the bottom of my driveway, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go home just yet. I had another place in mind, a place I hadn’t visited for six long years. I walked a little further down the street until I came to a wooded area and making my through the clearing where in the distance I could see a little sheltered cabin. Originally this was Alex and mine is we found it whilst we were playing hide and seek. It brought back memories, I had yet left to forget, memories in which were left to be remembered for another day. As I got closer and opened the door, I saw everything was still the same, two chairs sat side by side in the corner of the room, the walls had posters of our favourite bands and a little chest hidden at the back, taking a deep breath I walked to the far back and got to me knees, before slowly opening the chest, with a creek and a little disturbance of dust particles, the top was off and I was staring into a pile of photographs and memorabilia. I smiled to myself. I was flicking through the photos when one in particular caught my eye, it was of Alex and I when we first became friends, when he moved here from England when he was seven, we looked so different and cute it was shocking to see what we had both become, thinking back I wouldn’t have seen Alex the way he was now, maybe if Maisy had never got involved things would have been different? These questions were always going to be left unanswered because you can’t undo what’s already been done, as much as you wish you could. I know I wish I could make everything different, how I wish Alex was in love with me as much as I was with him. Life’s really unfair, but sometimes you just have to stop and think. Things happen for a reason, maybe you don’t like it at first but if it’s going to happen it will. I sighed.
“You didn’t forget?” a voice spoke from behind me
I shot up from the floor so quickly, that I nearly toppled over myself, turning around I came face to face with Alex.
“I could never forget” I muttered under my breath.
He smiled.
“I always come here to think y’know? And to write my music, it gives me so much inspiration, do you know why Leander?” he asked looking at me with his chocolate brown eyes
“Noo, I don’t know why, but I’m guessing you’re going to tell me?” I spoke
He walked closer to me,
“Because it reminds me of you” he whispered into my ear, his breath causing a shiver to be sent down my spine. I abruptly stood back away from him.
His eyes showed a sign of hurt and regret, but he deserved it right? I guess not. I felt guilty, I had to say something.
“Alex…don’t say that. Please. After six long years, things have changed. We’re not the people we used to be, we’ve grown up since then and things have happened, though surprisingly the only thing that has stayed the same, is my love for you. No matter what you put me through, my feelings never changed, for some unknown reason, but that alone doesn’t take back all those years, I don’t mean to sound harsh Alex, you were my best friend for so long, I just…I guess I’ve got used to being on my own mostly now, where as before we were inseparable, that was until Maisy came into the picture, you’ve got your friends and I’ve got mine. I’m sorry Alex” I opened up, feeling completely at ease. After so long, I’ve finally managed to feel a little better. I looked up at Alex whose face was priceless. He didn’t say a word.
I shook my head, before placing the photograph of Alex and I in my pocket and heading out the door, he didn’t attempt to stop me, so I guess now I know where I stand. My life is going to carry on for the better without Alex.