Soul Mates

Gerard’s POV

“You’re just using me. You know I deserve better than you right?”

I couldn’t get those words out of my head. Those words, just plain words, hurt so bad in the right context. Those simple words crushed me when I first heard them come out of hisbeautiful mouth.

It was over four months ago now, the day that Frankie shattered my soul. He didn’t just break my heart like a person would assume. He crushed everything about me. My entire point in living left when he left.

Maybe it was my entire fault. I’ve been known to yell at, no scream at, people when they foolishly interrupted my artistic flow. I would ignore everyone and everything around me for hours at a time. But I quit drinking for him. I gave up happiness with Bert for him.

I supposed I would have been fine by now if I didn’t have to see him all the time. I would be fine by now if not a month after leaving me he took up with my brother. It made me suspect that Mikey was the real reason Frankie left me. That my baby brother stole my boyfriend, my soul mate.

“Gerard?” I hear Ray call from the front door of my apartment. He must have used my spare key and let himself in. I stopped answering the door about a month after this happened. Ray was the only person I was even talking to, I wouldn’t even talk to my mom.

“I don’t want company,” I growl out at him. He just starts picking up the coffee cups littered around the room. I don’t remember the last time I consumed anything but coffee and cigarettes.

“You’ve become a recluse,” he sighs.

“What am I supposed to be doing?” I whisper, staring out at the falling snow.

“Do you even know that tomorrow is Christmas?” Ray asks before leaving with an arm load of cups.

Christmas? Tomorrow? The last day I clearly remembered was Thanksgiving because it was the only time I’ve ever seen Mikey and Frankie together as a couple. Did I really lose a whole month somehow? I didn’t have a gift for anyone. Not that I intended on it.

“Gee listen.” I turn my attention back to Ray, who’d just re-entered the room. “I understand that he hurt you really bad but don’t you think it’s been long enough?” As I open my mouth to reply there is a knock on my front door.

Frankie’s POV

“You’re just using me. You know I deserve better than you right?”

My own words were haunting me. They’d been haunting me for the last four months, since the moment I said them. I knew that with those words I crushed Gerard. I knew I destroyed his fucking soul.

It’s not even his fault, he is an amazing person. Sure once or twice he’d snap at me when he was having one of his creative periods. But that never mattered to me. He gave up alcohol for me. He gave up the only other man he’s ever loved for me. And how did I repay him? I breaking his heart and dating his brother.

I don’t even know why I did it. Mikey came to me a few months before and confessed his feelings for me. I was confused and faltered by his admittance. I didn’t know what to do. So instead of being the faithful boyfriend, I started sleeping around with Mikey. All the lies grew on me, driving me insane, driving me to make a choice.

My relationship with Mikey was new and exciting. I knew exactly what would happen with Gerard. Of course I picked the new shiny perfect relationship. Now, months later, I was regretting it. Mikey was wonderful and great and nothing was ever wrong. But I wanted Gerard with every fiber of my being. He was my soul mate.

“Hey baby,” Mikey says, bounding into the room. I turn to him, tearing my gaze from the falling snow. He stops, the smile falling off of his face. I knew I looked pathetic, sitting here brooding.

“Hi,” I mumble, looking back at the snow. I could feel him standing right beside me.

“Frankie,” he starts.

“Mikey, don’t ask me what’s wrong. You know what’s wrong. You know what I have to do,” I say softly, not wanting to also break his heart. One brother in a lifetime was enough.

“I know. I was going to say good luck. And that if he doesn’t forgive you, you can always come back to me,” he replies, giving me one last quick kiss.

“I’m sorry Mikes<” I apologize, feeling like a complete tool.

“Just get going before the snow picks up.”

Gerard’s POV

I look at Ray and then back towards the door. Once again there was a knock on it.

“Gerard, you better answer that door,” Ray warns, disappearing again. I get up slowly, walking towards the door as the knocker raps three more times. Somehow I knew it was going to be someone I didn’t want to talk to.

“Stop knocking on m- Frankie!” I say as I open the door and see him standing there. He looked so gorgeous with the snow swirling around him that it made me even more depressed.

“Can I come in?” he whispers. Now that I looked closer, he appeared to have lost weight and looked like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” I mutter, starting to shut the door.

“Gee Bear!” he calls. Him saying his nickname for me causes me to stop shutting the door on him. “You don’t have to talk, just listen.” I sigh, opening the door back up and letting him in. I stomp off to the living room, sitting back in my chair.

“Wow, you haven’t changed much,” he says, looking around at the mess of things all over. I watch him slowly sit on the edge of the couch.The couch we’ve made passionate love on.

“Yes?” It was all I had to say.

“I really don’t know how to say this,” he starts off, pausing. “I made a mistake.” Yeah no shit Sherlock. I could have told you that.

“So?” I growled.

“I love you. I made a mistake ok? You’re going to sit there all high and mighty and try to tell me me that you have never thought about touching another person?” He had a point there. I thought it a lot.

“But I never do it,” I state.

“Gee, he’s so much like you. It’s almost scary how much. I couldn’t help it. What if I had really been in love with him the whole time? Would you have had that?” Yes.

I stand up quickly. “Get out.” I point towards the door. He was just making me angrier. I watch him stand up, wiping his eyes quickly. He walks towards the door, turning to look at me right before he left.

“I’ll always love you. You’re my soul mate.” I hear the door close behind him before his words sink in. I was out the door behind him in half a second.

“Frankie, baby, wait!” I call into the snowstorm that developed. He stops walking, turning around to stare at me, looking gorgeous against all the white.

“What?” he cries, tears flowing freely.

“I love you.” I take him into my arms, hugging him tight as I can. “You’re my soul mate baby.”