Promise You'll Save Me

I walked into my first day of sophomore year, also known as my first day back since my breakdown. I noticed people staring at me, wondering what I was doing back. I bet they thought that drinking killed me that night. Lucky for them, it didn’t. This place seemed more horrid without my brother pulling off his crazy antics. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind. I don’t need to have a break down right here in school.

I practically shoved my face in my locker to stop noticing people staring at me. It bugs me. I let my dark brown hair fall over my shoulders. I shoved my books into my locker and walked to my next class. Oh, great more people staring.

“Hey alcoholic, did you go to rehab?” some guy spat in my face.

I rolled my eyes, trying to keep it cool. I ignored him as he walked away. I took a deep breathe, trying not to cry. I mentally kicked myself for everything thinking I wanted to cry. I just pushed passed the people. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Levi or a guy who looks like Levi.

Great, the first day of school and already I reminder of him, I thought to myself.

I got to my first period and sat down, hiding my face behind my hair. This was going to be a long day.

≈

I laid on my brother’s bed in his room that was kept untouched. It should be my room since I sleep here most of the time. I curled up with his old blanket he gave me when I was sick. I took in his scent. The rest of the day hadn’t been much better. Everyone made mean comments and looked at me like I was a circus freak the whole school day. I come home to find my mother crying in her bedroom holding a picture of my brother. I had to pick her off of the ground. That’s when I realized that she was drunk. I put her in bed and checked on my
dad. He didn’t even notice me; he was too busy working. I needed to someone to talk to. And yet, I had no one. I was on the verge of another break down.

“You should really just move your stuff in here. I wouldn’t mind if you took over my room,” a deep voice said, startling me.

I shot up, looking to the direction of the voice. My dead brother was leaning on his old dresser that we wrote on when we were five. He had his hands in his pockets, acting like nothing was wrong with him being here. His hair fell in the exact place as I remember it, matching in color to mine. He was wearing the same thing he wore to the party the night he died. He pushed off the dresser walking over to me.

“Don’t just sit there with your mouth open, Add. Say something.” He sat down next to me on the bed.

I still stared in disbelief. He was here. Levi was here and sitting next to me. I reached out to touch him, to make sure he was real.

“Don’t do that. Your hand will just go through me. It will leave you disappointed and plus, it feels uncomfortable.” I snatched my hand back.

“Why are you here?” I finally mustered out.

“To make sure you’ll be ok. You didn’t manage so well when I left.” I looked down, knowing what he was talking about. “You should have listened to me, Addie. I was trying to save you from a stupid mistake.”

“I didn’t think it was actually you. I thought I was just seeing you because I missed you, not because you’re coming back to save me,” I replied softly.

“Funny, even in the afterlife I’m still saving you. Some things never change do they, A?”

“They all change eventually. Everything changes, Levi. You really think everything is the same with you gone?” My tone was harsher than I wanted.

He looked hurt by what I said. Levi actually looked like he let us down. But he never did. It wasn’t his fault that he got in a car accident. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t make it. Levi never let us down. He was Mr. Dependable.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I mean-“

“Yes, you did. I know a lot has changed since I passed. I see you struggling everyday. It hurts me. I want to be there for you. I want you to be fine and when I say fine, I mean stable.”

I opened my mouth to say something but I never go the chance.

“Addie, where are you?” My mother called. I guess she sobered up. “Addie.”

“In here, mom,” I called back.

She stopped at Levi’s door. “What are you doing in here? I told you not to come in here anymore.”

I swallowed, scared of what she’ll do to me. She’s been unstable since Levi’s death. I think he can see it now.

“Ask for my room,” Levi whispered in my ear. I had forgotten that my mom couldn’t see him. “Go on. Do it.”

“Mom, I want Levi’s room,” I said, clearly. I could hear Levi yelling my ear for her to say yes.

My mother just stood there. I braced myself for what was coming next.