Paint Me a Picture

This came as a surprise to me. All this time I had thought Gerard had feelings for me and now he's fucking engaged?! Really, Gerard? Really?
My jaw felt like it was down to the floor. I shut my mouth and grinded my teeth together.
"I'm going out somewhere" I grumbled, trying tol hold my tongue on saying anything else. At least Gerard was happy. It was quite obvious that he just couldn't be happy with me. Shit, I couldn't even be happy with myself. That's how it'd always been.
I found myself hiding in that shell I had been in before I met Gerard. I was making a home of it again, but with different reasons. I was abusing myself. Why couldn't I just tell Gerard from the start how he made me feel? Why did I have to be such a whimp?!
I remember when Gerard's gaze used to feel like he was seeing through me. It felt like he knew everything.
Fuck. He doesn't know shit! I found myself at the park and took a seat on the bench Frank and I had sat on only yesterday. I released a calm sigh. I relaxed because no one was here or so it seemed.
Suddenly, someone came up behind me and covered my mouth with a piece of cloth. I could taste the poison on it. It was extremely bitter. It tasted like...sleeping pills?
Before I could finish my thoughts, my vision and thoughts got blurry. Everything grew terribly dark and I fell asleep.