No Time To Bleed

“You’re not supposed to be out here.”

I pressed my lips together and turned away. “I know.”

Alex stepped forward. “Are you crying?”

The night breeze itched my arms and tingled to goose bumps. My right arm pressed against the half built building. The one last William had lived in just yesterday. I felt him move closer. The moon light beamed above in long strobes.

“Why won’t you talk after what happened?”

My teeth jammed shut. This was how I did things. Shut down. Hurt. Suffer. Try to live.

“You know you can talk to me if you can’t. I miss him too. He was my cousin.”

Now I had to speak. “You said it didn’t matter. That he was one of them. Why?”

I still wasn’t ready to turn, to face him yet.

“Because I’ve seen people get their bodies pulled open by the ones they love. I saw my dad disappear into people’s mouths. And they weren’t even people.” His voice choked. “When that first nail dug into his skin, he wasn’t a person anymore.”

I turned around, voice angry. “So, is that all it takes for you? One scratch and all your humanity is gone?”

He shook his head. “No, that’s…”

I waited and waited. All he did was stare at me, eyes softer than I’d ever seen. The color was the same ice green I’d remembered.

“I’m not a bad person.” He swallowed. “He was my cousin and I always saw him as this little kid, only 13 and…”

“And you didn’t take a second look.” I finished.

William had been a good guy. He’d been there for his mom at least.

Alex ran his hands through his feathery black hair, arm muscles straining against his dark shirt. “Yeah, that’s it. I’m a jerk.”

It wasn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be to hear him say it and he still stared me.

“So, why are you here outside crying? Waiting to die?”

I shook my head so slightly. “If those zombies ever got me, I wouldn’t be dead. I’d still be walking.”

“But, you’d be dead. Your heart wouldn’t be beating.”

I wanted to walk away from him, to not hear any more of his babble.

“Just tell me before I say something wrong.” His eyes begged with her. “Maybe I can help?”

Miraculous. He was trying to be my friend.

“I’m thinking about my family.” There were so many things wrong with that sentence.

“What were they like?”

The tears had dried from my cheeks, now the sticky salt residue was left. “I don’t wanna say considering I don’t have a family anymore. My dad gave me up.”

His hand stuck into his pockets and it was amazing how many stars could be in the sky when the streetlights were off.

“Then, what was your old town like?”

I half shrugged. “Big. Boring. Full of stupid people. Stupid high school. Lots of drugs.”

“That’s bad.” His eyes just seemed to stare past her foggily.

“What was your neighborhood like?”

His lips pressed together in lushness. A blaze of red crossed Alex’s cheeks.

“Small. Fun. Rich. Lots of smart people. Nice high school. Nothing bad.”

That got a laugh out of me. It felt like the first laugh I’d had in about 20 years, if I’d even have the chance to live that long.

He smiled. “Why are you laughing?”

“You don’t seem the type to enjoy high school.”

“I didn’t. Just tried to smile for the sake of my dad. I was all he had after his mother died.”

“What about Clarissa?”

“She was closer to Lion than anyone.”

That struck me as weird. “You think they ever dated?”

Grimness crossed his face. “No. No. I hope not. That’d be weird.”

So Alex was stuck with an aunt he hardly knew.

“I’m sorry about your dad.” I said.

“It’s okay. It was only a few days ago.”

It was hard to think this whole thing was only a few days old. After all, it had managed to rip apart all of their lives.

“You ready to go back inside?” she asked him.

His eyes went back to her and he grinned uneasily. “Uh, sure. Yeah.”

They both turned back to go to the metal door and down into the basement. But, the way he walked so close to me, our arms brushing, I could’ve sworn he wanted to hold my hand.

At least tomorrow we’d be out of her and on our way to find Ryant. How we’d find Ryant and Max? We had no idea.