No Time To Bleed

My bottom pressed against the sink edge as I sang the lyrics to a Paramore song.

Just talk yourself up
and tear yourself down
You’ve hit your one wall.
Now find your way around.
Well, what’s the problem?
You’ve got a lot of nerve.

“You always listened to that type of music?” I jumped up and saw Jesse standing just inside the bathroom, the door closing slowly behind me. “I scare you?”

I breathed slowly. “No. Just almost made me pee my pants is all.”

He did a hearty little chuckle that came purely from his chest as he sauntered into the room. His back rested against a locked bathroom stall.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve got time to feel much of anything anymore. Too much stuff that needs to be done. Cece supposedly wants to kick off a plan tomorrow.”

“The same night as the dance?” he questioned. “Um…”

My eyebrows shot up. “What? Something wrong with her plan?”

His hand went to the back of his neck. Fingers began to scratch the tufts of brown hair there as he bit down on his lip. “It’s not that. It’s just…”

I hopped down from the sink, just standing now. “Just what?”

His eyes squinted a bit, forcing the irises to become a nervous hazel. “I was wondering if you wanted to go… to the dance… with me?”

I was confused now. “What’s the question?”

“Do you want to go to the dance with me?” A boyish grin went to his face anxiously. “It doesn’t have to be serious or anything, just friends going and-“

He stopped his own sentence short as he saw the expression on my face. “But, you still like Alex. I get it.”

“Look, things are weird right now and I don’t know if I’m going as a date with anyone.” I excused. “Can I let you know later?”

He nodded slowly then, seeming to appreciate my intentional honesty. To put it accurately, my heart was beating pretty fast and I wasn’t sure why.

“Alright guys, this meeting is open!” Cece jammed through the door with Ashton, Ashley, Kyle, and Alex following.

“Cece got fitted into her dress! It was so pretty!” Ashley exclaimed and propped herself up on the sink next to me.

Cece stood near her with a stack of papers in her hand. Ashton stood by Alex(who happened to be awfully quiet and avoiding my gaze all at once) while Kyle just was by himself.

“Okay, first things first. We need to vote.” I proclaimed. “All in favor of Kyle being-“

“Wait, hold up! Aren’t we supposed to have like a trial or something?!” Kyle interrupted. Ashley and Cece visibly rolled their eyes.

Ashton was the first to speak. “Well, that would be democracy, but-“

“There’s no but though. I deserve to defend myself.” Kyle spat out. “Anyone have a problem with that?”

Everyone in the room went silent, mostly out of fear if one person spoke up, someone else would surely tell Kyle off.

Kyle stepped to the middle of all of our regards. He cleared his throat before speaking. “Alright. As all of you know, my sister’s supposed to be dead. I don’t know how or why or when exactly, but from Jasmine’s word she’s dead. And although, Jasmine is a mighty attractive girl, I can’t give up that easily.”

His eyes went to me respectively. “I need to know if she’s alive or not. And if I find her, I’ll break her out of here just like anyone else you guys are looking for. I was a bad brother and I deserve a second chance. You guys are my second chance.”

My pulse slowed a bit and I felt the trickle of sympathy for Kyle. He was just trying to make up for his past mistakes, something I could fully relate to.

“Anyone have anything to say? For or against him joining?” Alex asked.

Cece took a proud step forward, wanting to make herself heard. “I think this would be the hugest mistake we ever make. I’m sorry, but if you’re a horrible sibling once, you lose all respect in my book.”

Kyle’s eyes cut to her. “Are you sure this isn’t about me not liking you or you being bitter?”

Cece scoffed. “Oh please. I’m way over that. I just have my reasons for thinking your even more of an asshole than before. Your sister’s dead. Lexicon killed her. Accept it. My vote is a no. We don’t need extra baggage.”

Cece stepped back to her rightful place and Kyle seemed flustered by her brute words. Even though I didn't agree with her opinion's irateness, her own brother's death at the hands of Lexicon probably had a lot to with it.

“Ashley?” Ashton pointed to his sister.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t really have an opinion. He seems like he can be a jerk, but it’s supposed to be about whether or not he can help us, right?”

Ashton shrugged at the obviousness of his sister’s question.

“I guess I don’t have a vote then. Neutral.”

It went to the next in line which was Ashton himself.

“I vote yes. He has a reason to want to help us, wouldn’t blab it all over the place and he could be some extra help.”

Kyle nodded appreciatively and it turned to Alex. “You?”

Alex’s eyes rose up, circling around to every face in the room. Then, his eyes froze on mine before speaking. “I vote yes. You should join.” He then seemed to shrink back into his shell.

“I vote no. We don’t need extra baggage like Cece said. Too much risk.” Jesse voted.

“Jasmine’s the deciding vote then.” Ashton proclaimed.

Kyle turned to me now, eyes as desperate as ever.

Then, my insides did all sorts of battles. Thinking of Antoinette and how she’d died. How Kyle had treated her. Everyone else who died along the way of us coming here and everything that had happened. Everything.

And that’s how I managed to look Kyle straight in the eyes and tell him. “No.”

Cece did a happy little shriek and began to laugh. “Yes! Yes! The jerk gets what he deserves!”

Alex’s eyes burned holes in my skull as Kyle sighed.

“And why the hell not, Jasmine?” Alex snapped. His nostrils flared and chest heaved under the arms crossed there. “You're deciding to lie now?”

The room went silent under his blaring voice.

“I’m not lying.” My voice betrayed me with a crack of emotion. “I just don’t want him with us. Too much of a risk.”

He smirked at me. “You’re pathetic. You’re one pathetic excuse for a girl. Dumb broad.”

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that-“Jesse defended.

“You need to shut up!” Alex shouted at him before stomping over to me. “Why are you lying? You need to tell everyone in here why your lying.”

I just stared at him, more confused as to who this boy was more than ever. “Leave me alone. You don’t care. You're afraid."

I shoved my way past him and went walking for the door. Alex’s hand grabbed onto my arm and pulled.

“Let go of me!”

He yanked harder. “I did this to protect you! I voted him in to protect you!”

My hand whirled around and landed into his cheek, sending a loud clap echoing into the room. “I didn’t ask you to protect me! You’re the one that lied! You’re a pig! You’d throw him into the fire before anyone else just because you’re scared!”

The tears in my voice filled the room as I let all of it out in my words. He stood there; face as cold as stone and all my anger came rushing out.

“You lied to me and told me you cared! Then, you step out of the whole plan! I bet you didn’t tell everyone that, did you?”

Cece seemed to be catching on. “Alex, what the hell is she talking about?”

Red crept all the way up his neck, suffocating his cheeks as he swallowed. “I’m not coming with you guys.”

“And why the hell not?”

His eyes just stared ahead, hand clenched shut at his side. “I just don’t want to. You guys are going to end up dead and I’m not for it.” His teeth were mashed shut and eyes swimming with some sort of emotion.

“You’re a fucking fake.” I uttered, stepping away from him.

His eyes looked to me, the same emotion of betrayal I’d felt before was in them now. His lips moved to unintelligible words and I swore I saw tears in his eyes, but I knew Alex. He’d never in a million fucking years let them fall.

So, he walked out.

The door thudded on his way out and I felt the nerves in my hands sear at the touch to his face.

“Does this mean I’m in now?” Kyle asked, shattering the room’s silence.

Everyone seemed to be biting their tongues.

I was the only one to answer. “I guess it does.”