No Time To Bleed

Of all the people that had died, I could never decide whose death had affected me the most. It had been 90 days since we’d escaped Southwestern Airport.

Camron had been my first friend at East Gleverdon Prep School. She’s been timid and kind and also the first person I’d seen die in front of me.

William had been a warm and sweet boy, just seeking love and hope in a world gone bad. His blood was long gone now and everything lost.

Shatoya had helped us break into Lexicon and she died saving Eli’s life.

Eli was the tender little boy with a heart of pure gold. Now he rested with his mothers that he’d missed more than anything else in this world.

The Crazy Family had tried to cage us in, but we’d been set free. They were what we needed to escape.

Antoinette had been a breath of fresh air, misunderstood and tortured to her last moments. She should have never gone out that way.

Jessica had been the girl I’d hated, then come to love for her innocence and forgiveness.

Aliah had been forgotten and died in the bowels of Lexicon. The mysteries of her end more aching than anything else.

And Clarissa, the final piece in our flock and she’d died with her son’s life in mind.

And Ashton, dear brother of Ashley, who died only hours after we’d landed in Washington. Ashley still sobbed over his grave to this day.

Every single one of us had lost so much since the terrors of the Rogue Virus had detonated our lives. We’d all seen horrors past the universe of what was meant to be.

We’d seen fleshed ripped from bones and watched death end.

But, among the ashes you learn to rebuild.

Ryant and Max reunited with their father. His happy ending was all I’d ever wanted to see and to this day, we were closer friends than ever imaginable. He was my rock.

Cece and Kyle still lived strong, a couple to the end when Kyle’s parents decided to move to Washington.

Jesse never seemed the same since it all had happened. He hadn’t talked to any of us in weeks. Sometimes I felt guilty about him. Sometimes I didn't.

Rodney became honorary CEO of Lexicon then, closed down the company altogether. Afterward he revealed their lies and horrid testings to the government. He’d also been the one to use his father’s flash drive to stop Red Black 1400 in its tracks.

Alex had turned 18 and no longer needed an official family to hold him. But, we became his net to fall back on. We became his family.

“Jasmine?” A voice came from the kitchen. It was Uncle Trevor.

Of the many things that pained me of the virus, it was the fact that his wife had to die, and no one knew how.

“Yeah.” My voice cracked as I came back to reality. Now a days, I tended to replay things in my mind, try to think of how things could have gone differently, but of course they never could.

“Do you want eggs for breakfast?”

I smiled through my sewn together heart. “Sure.”

He turned on the stove and made conversation. “I know today will be a big day for you. Get to see your father for the first time, decide who you’ll live with.”

My heart ached even more at that. Why’d I have to decide? Why couldn’t I just leave things the way they were? Why’d I have to face this?

“Yeah, a big day…” I jumped down from the kitchen stood and felt the summer air rush in through the windows. “Listen, I’m going to-“

The doorbell rang and Uncle Trevor turned down the stove. “Looks like Dad’s here early!”

He went off to answer the door and my body stayed frozen in the kitchen.

You can face this. You can face this. After everything you’ve been through, you can face this and make it out on the other end. You’ve done CNN interview. You’ve been called crazy and ridiculed. You’ve been hailed a hero and met the president of the United States Of America.

You can make it through this.

The small talk could be heard down the wall, my father and his loyal old brother.
* * * * *

We sat in the living room, all three of our lips pinned shut. The clock ticked in the corner.

I watched my father for the first time in almost 6 months. I watched the strong lines of his dark brown face. I watched the traces of his bald fade haircut. I saw the scar just under his left lip, where the glass had cut him on that New Year’s Eve party 6 years ago. I also saw the wedding band on his hand, something he’d never take off since the day she’d left him.

“We have some choices to make, living arrangements.” Uncle Trevor started. “We would never want to force you into anything.”

Silence filled the room again and I just breathed.

My father spoke next. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see you. You’re my daughter and I love you. There’s been so many things I’ve had to face since this whole thing has been dropped.”

Thing he’d had to face?

What about searing nightmares of nearly dying?

“I thought you were dead for so long.” His voice choked and his sturdy hands shoved over his mouth. “I’m j-just glad you’re alive.”

The silver and gold wedding band glinted as his brown eyes pinned closer. Everyone always said we shared our eyes.

“And I don’t want to force you into anything you’d ever hate especially after everything you’ve been through.” His lips pressed together and narrow nose inhaled. “I just want you to be happy.”

I just glared and glared at him, my eyes burning holes through his skull until I was shaking my head and so angry, so angry for everything he hadn’t done.

“You never wanted to me happy. You never did.” I wiped the tears away that slipped. “You told me how useless I was and how you wanted her over me. How it was my fault my mother died. You hated me.”

I sniffled and Uncle Trevor handed me tissues. I just clutched them in my hands.

My father sighed. “But, it was only that one night, Jasmine. That was a horrible mistake that I never had the compassion to apologize for, don’t you see that? I wasn’t a man back then. Now I am.”

My head still shook and I just stared to the wall behind his head.

“Do you want to live with me?” he asked.

“No.” The two letter word seemed to stretch forever, but it was all that was on my mind.

“Do you want me to move to Washington?”

I looked to Uncle Trevor who seemed exceptionally quiet. “I don’t know.”

I wondered how long it would take my heart to forgive, how long it would take for it to fully mend in the aftermath of everything that had happened. I wasn’t so sure of how strong I was anymore.

My father nodded, hand reaching anxiously for the back of his neck.. “That’s far. Completely fair. I guess I’ll just talk it over with my brother then. Would you like to head out for breakfast, Trevor?”

My uncle nodded. That was all I needed to get up and walk out of that living room.

I had so much pain, so much pent up pain and horror inside my heart.

“Jasmine.” I reached the front doorway, today’s cool morning breeze hitting me as my father’s voice hit the air. I turned to see him standing there, as tall as I remembered at 6’3”.

“Yeah.”

“I wanted to let you have something, something I’m finally ready to let go of.” He stepped forward, hand reaching to his right ring fingers as he tugged the thing away. “Here’s Gladis’s ring. You should decide what happens to it.”

He held it in the air, just waiting for me to react.

I brought my hand up and he dropped the thing into my palm. My fingers closed over it and I let that hand for to my side.

“I love you, Jasmine. Never forget that. I always loved you. I just made horrible mistakes and I’m sorry.”

I stared back at him, wanting to smile, wanting to hug him, tell him I forgive him, but not yet. I had my own scars to mend first.

“I’m sorry I left you. I just couldn’t take that house anymore with you in it. I’m sorry I left.”

He nodded then, hands in his pockets. “I know. I know you. You deserve the way you feel.”

Then, I threw my arms around his abdomen in a hug and muttered into his chest. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, baby girl.”

He let me go and I walked out into the Washington morning air.

Maybe things could change.

* * * * *

The coffee nestled in between us at the diner table, quiet brunch time humming around us.

Alex smiled and I felt the warmness explode through me.

“Decide yet?” He grinned.

I rolled my eyes and just gleamed back at him. His hair was fashioned unbelievably sexy today, strands of silky black upon his head above his sprinkling blue eyes. His smile held an air of flirtation and promise.

“Why are you making me do this? I told you my birthday didn’t matter when it actually came around. It doesn’t matter that I’m 17.”

“Then, why’d you make such a big deal out of my 18th birthday?” He combatted.

I tore a piece of napkin and tossed it at him. “Because you’re an adult now! That’s way more important!”

He sweetly shook his head. “You’re way more important.”

My face burned just as it always did when he pulled those cheesy lines out of his butt. Even with their gushy nature, my stomach never ceased to do flips when he said them.

“Then, I know what I want to do. I want you to drive me somewhere.”

His eyebrows rose. “Drive you somewhere? Would that involve gas money and hours in the car with you?”

I giggled. “It would sadly.”

He leaned over the table and pecked me on the lips.

“Then, let’s do it.”

Minutes later, we were in his car with the convertible top down and the wind blowing in our hair with Ray Baum glasses on our faces. Heavy metal drowned the speakers as the highway beckoned us.

Truthfully, I had no idea where I wished for our destination to be.

All that really mattered was that things could change for us.

All that mattered was that we evolved.

All that mattered was that I had him.