No Way to Say Goodbye.

Stopping at the top of the stairs, and looking into his twinkling brown eyes that the dim light from the Christmas tree and the dining room gave, Hannah’s face became saddened. How was she going to answer this question? It was so sudden and it really did come out of nowhere.

Slowly going down the stairs, her heart began to ache from the pained expression that wouldn’t stop growing on his face. He was cute, and always made her feel like she could be herself around him but she never saw him like that.

“Seth,” she whispered with a little pout; she didn’t know what to say either.

Looking at his hands he whispered, “do you like Jake?”

She sat down on the step, just perfect so she could see up into his eyes. He moved is face to the side, apparently he was having a hard time with this and choose now to say something. Hannah had to admit that this kid had patience but that was all he was to her: a kid. She was a couple years older than him, soon to be eighteen and even if she were to like him back they could nor wouldn’t be able to go anywhere. Besides, he’d practically stolen the words from her mouth; she did like Jacob.

Hannah gave her head a few nods before grabbing his nervously fumbling hands in hers. Her soft smile, and soft eyes met with his. Seth had been an awesome friend to her. He always would be that way, but seeing him this sad was just getting to her for some reason.

“But wait, don’t you have a girl,” Hannah snapped a few times trying to remember her name. “Oh, Vivian.” She smiled bigger because she actually remembered.

He shook his head rather quickly, “no,” he sort of whined. “She likes me.”

“Well why don’t you give her a chance?” Hannah asked gently.

“Because I don’t wanna,” he stated, becoming firm.

Coaxing his hands Hannah took a deep breath, “okay. Okay, just calm down Seth. It’s alright.”

Realizing he was becoming angry he released his pent up air and let go. There really was no use competing or comparing himself to Jacob. He knew this, but didn’t want to admit to it. Seth just thought that maybe, just maybe he’d be lucky enough however he put the fact that there was an age difference behind him. He could tell Hannah didn’t though.

He remembered when he first saw her, it was like being reborn. He thought she was just so pretty that he had to be friends with her. Hear her voice, everything. He had to know everything about it. He even laughed at himself for begging that she be his secret imprint. However, he wasn’t that lucky. Especially when he saw Jake and Hannah hitting it off unusually well. Seth even tried to stay out of the way, be the background friend. In which he did quite well, it was just time to put things out there because after hearing about another guy who wanted to steal Hannah away from him Seth had enough. He was fine with her and Jacob because that meant she’d be around forever. Even if it was meant figuratively.

He shuddered, causing Hannah to ask, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled before taking his hands and standing her up; ushering her to use the bathroom he knew she really needed to use.

He watched her run up the stairs in adoration. His head was tilted to the side and he couldn’t help but smile at her. Jake was nice to Seth, so it was okay that he have Hannah, even though she wasn’t his to give he understood but it would be hard to see them hold hands or anything else he didn’t particularly want to think about if they ended up together. If.

Here on Christmas Eve, and Hannah’s grandfather had reinjured his leg again. By putting up lights around the house, imagine that. So she offered to shovel the snow off of the sidewalk. She didn’t need to complain either because she was nice and warm in her winter clothing. She especially loved the hat that had ear flaps, her handy hat.

With her iPod on full blast, Hannah was unaware that two boys were standing behind her. She was humming loudly, thinking she was completely alone. Jacob loved the sound, but Seth gave him a look that said to hurry up. Jacob laughed loudly but that still left Hannah unfazed. Finally getting that Seth was growing impatient Jacob tightly wrapped his arms around her and lifted her slightly.

After he’d set her down she turned to face him and gave him a quick proper hug before saying, “hey Jake, Seth,” she leaned to see him behind Jacob. “What’re you doing here?”

No words were exchanged when Jacob handed her a small box. Looking from the box to Jake many times, he told her that it was alright to open it since it was Christmas Eve and that he just had to come and bring it to her. He also said it was important, he couldn't wait any longer. Her hands had begun to twitch. She was nervous. She wanted to be careful with even the wrapping but Jacob insisted to rip it open.

Upon seeing the gift, all Hannah could do was smile. She smiled so big that her lips and cheeks grew to hurt. It was a necklace, black leather and thick. Dangling from it was a tiny glass globe with a few grains of white sand inside and only one grain of rice.

“Read it,” he smiled.

Biting down on her lip, she tossed and turned the little thing until she read it. Jacob’s. She couldn’t stop smiling, licking her lips and blushing. She didn’t quite understand what was going on, but she really had a good idea and she liked where it was going.

“Hannah?” He asked, but held his warm fingers to her lips and continued, “will you be my Christmas present; my girlfriend?”

Fumbling to lift the necklace above her head, Jacob took it from her and carefully set it against her chest. Even though Seth was standing a few feet back, and he was probably the most patient of the bunch, Hannah didn’t mind that he saw what she was going to do.

Gripping the sides of Jake’s face she placed a nice kiss on his lips. Jacob put his hands around her wrists making sure she remained touching his face while I forced his mouth to hers again. After she broke away and kissed all over his face, he gave a small laugh and said, “so I take that as a yes?”

“Uh, I would imagine so,” She said and went to give him one last hug. “Oh, do you want your gift now?”

Shaking his head he replied, “I already got it,” but then added, “I’ll come get it tomorrow,” when she gave him a look.

As she watched Jake and Seth disperse into the frosty forest, all Hannah could do was grip the tiny object in her hands. She did love it. It even made her laugh aloud because of it labeling her as his. But she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Nearly an hour went by and Jacob’s name kept flashing through her mind. She absolutely loved his gift, and couldn’t wait to give him his. She had gotten him a wooden picture frame with an engraving in it. When she was almost finished, she felt her phone vibrate within her pocket. Thinking it was Jacob a smile was immediately on her lips. But, looking at the number her heart started to vanish within her body. Why was this person calling her? She hadn’t talked to this person in months and yet he had the nerve to call her.

“What?” She asked, relatively angry.

He took a moment before saying, “Hannah, I miss you.”

“So?”

“Please just, listen. Give me five minutes,” He stated more than asked.

Shaking her head Hannah answered, “no Jeremy. I’ll give you a minute.”

“Okay okay. I’m in a diner in La Push? Please come meet me,” he said slowly, but pronounced ‘la’ as ‘le,’ causing Hannah to laugh at this.

After hanging up with him, there were only three things running through her mind. One; why in the hell was he here? And two; why did it have to be La Push? Last was why did he have to come up here on Christmas Eve; when he should be with his family.

Kicking at a pile of snow, Hannah soon grumbled when it avalanched down to cover up her perfectly cleaned sidewalk. Now she would have to do it over again. All because of Jeremy she was getting angry, and all because of him this was definitely going to ruin her night. Her heart pumped faster as she drove on the slick road towards La Push. She knew eyes would be on her, she just knew. She was half tempted to tell Jeremy her address but that meant he would know where she lived.

Once she pulled into the diner, she was pleasantly surprised to see it wasn’t busy. There were a few cars and some people but none that she recognized. Parking next to Jeremy’s typical teenaged car, Hannah slipped out of hers, wrapped her jacket tighter around herself and made her way into the sweet aroma of what she familiarized as cinnamon rolls. Jeremy was sitting so he was facing away from her. His head was down with that same old blue hat on.

Her heart grew louder in all the pin point places of her body as each step she made was vital. Not knowing why she was so uneasy, Hannah got to the side of the table and stood there waiting for Jeremy to look up at her in which he did no more than three seconds later.

They exchanged greetings and she took the other side of the booth. When she finally got a good look at his face, she bit her tongue from gasping audibly. He looked frighteningly pale, eyes like he hadn’t slept in weeks and just plain tired. Jeremy had reached his hands out across the table expecting Hannah to take them, seeing as how hers were already on the table, however she pulled them tighter to herself.

“Hannah,” he whispered; just like he used to do, too.

“What did you want me to come all the way down here for?” She asked but wasn’t able to hold eye contact very long because of the pain he let show through his.

What he had told her shouldn’t have been that much of a shocker; Hannah knew they would get together and that this would happen. Rachael needed to use protection but since she loved Jeremy too much she wouldn’t if he didn’t want her to. He told her that the day she ended it between them, their friendship, he was crazed. He got upset and spent the night with Rachael, who is now expecting sometime in April.

It just hurt too badly. These two teens being parents wasn’t going to be a pretty sight and sadly she thought of them immediately following in her parents’ footsteps. She could see it so well…

They’d be sitting there in the living room, solid like statues. Their kid would want to play a game, go outside, or just do something with his or her parents but would never get the opportunity because they were too busy working or just didn’t care. Jeremy and Rachael would spoil their child every Christmas and birthday in order to make up for the slack they’d been cut because parenting was just too damn hard. Or even better they’d just send them away when they didn’t give a shit anymore.

All of a sudden Hannah became very bitter, “is that all you have to say?”

Looking at her as if that were enough to unload on to someone Jeremy retorted, “why? Would you like some more?”

“So, let me get this straight. You came all the way over here to tell me you and Rachael fucked each other—“

Jeremy tried to calm her down by telling her to sit again; Hannah had stood from being so outraged. Who in the hell was he to tell her to calm down? It just had to happen this way, didn’t it? She thought and moved from the table only to tell Jeremy that he had wasted his time by coming up here because she wasn’t going to spare him. There was so pity or sorrow for him. And quite frankly, all she wanted was to punch Jeremy until he bled out.

The snow had begun to shower down over her. It looked like a white storm around her, and as she frantically searched her jacket pockets for her keys Hannah discovered they were nowhere on her. Wiping the snow off of her window, she thought maybe she had locked them inside but she didn’t see the special purple lanyard on which they were placed.

Turning to walk inside, she saw a fuzzy blue standing a good ten feet away from her purposefully making her keys jingle. “Want these?” He said, maliciously.