No Way to Say Goodbye.

His thumbs caressed the top of her hands, and rubbed in circles. Jacob’s mind told him to lean down and kiss her, that they have known each other long enough. Though, his aching heart begged, for it said that he was obviously not ready since he hadn’t done it yet. Giving his head a scare shake, Jacob placed Hannah’s hands to his lips. He also craved her scent sometimes. She always smelled like vanilla and holiday time. Perhaps that was why she was so airy, her scent. Or maybe it only made sense to him.

“Want to go get some dinner?” She asked swinging their hands.

“Please,” His eyes got wide. “I’m starving.” Which was the gosh honest truth.

On the way to the nearest Pizza place, in Port Angeles, Jacob held Hannah’s hand all the way there. Occasionally letting go if he needed to use both hands, but he liked the comfort of making her warm. He’d admit that much. Jacob did want to be with Hannah. It was the fact that rebound part he wasn’t particularly fond of. Since she would be starting school soon, Jacob thought about making a move several times, except he was all too afraid to let her in all the way. He’d done it with Beth, and look what happened; he lost his imprint.

Honestly Jacob never knew if that chuck of his missing heart would return, sometimes he didn’t want it to because then it was like she never mattered to him, when in all reality she was his everything.

After Hannah and Jacob ate, Hannah after hard convincing, allowed Jake to pay. Not remembering the loose picture in his wallet, since he hardly ever used it anymore, he knew that it was now time to really come clean about everything. It was his favorite picture of Bethany. Her hair was braided and pulled to her side. She was looking up at Jacob who had his shoulders shrugged and had a weird look on his face.

Not wanting to seem noisy Hannah bit down on her lip nervously. Jacob’s eyes were shut tight, he wasn’t even mentally prepared for this yet, but this time Hannah was persistent.

“Jake, whose this?” She lifted the picture to her face. “She’s mighty pretty.”

Snatching the picture away from her, he clenched his jaw, “let’s go Hannah,” and grabbed her arm.

“Jake,” She tried to wiggle free, but he was very strong.

“Jacob.” He spat.

“Jacob, what’s wrong? Did I do something?”

Wincing from internal pain he let go of her and left her standing a couple feet away from his car. He wanted to badly to transform and run away at this point, but then he would expose everything. Sam would be pissed, and his fellow pack members would probably, no—they definitely wouldn’t understand. With his body shaking, he pivoted and advanced at a scary pace towards Hannah. “This, her,” he let out a crying whine, “This is Bethany. She was my everything, Hannah.”

Not knowing what to say, she nodded shortly.

“But she died; brain cancer. Just this year,” He was back by his car now.

“I’m so sorry Jac—“

“It’s Jacob to you!”

“I was going to call you Jacob!” She spat, still in a whisper.

He was now pacing. And all Hannah could do was stand there, in the cold with her arms folded. She wasn’t being impatient, because for Jacob she’d stand in the blistering cold snow for hours, but she was more curious. It wasn’t abnormal for him to leash out at her because of his last love dying. She couldn’t entirely sympathize, but Hannah was able to empathize for him.

“I didn’t just fall on a rock,” She admitted shoving her hands into her jeans.

“What?” He faced her, cheeks glossy.

“I saw someone, they urged me to follow, and then I slipped,” She explained taking herself back to that day. “For some reason though, I don’t remember what that person looks like.” She then shook her head, trying to get the simplest clue on remembering.

Calming down his temper, Jacob placed a hand cautiously on her shoulder. “Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?” He gave a tiny laugh.

“Do you know how crazy I sound?” She let a kind laugh come out in response to his laugh.

“Pretty damn crazy if you ask me,” He smiled faintly.

She nodded, “exactly.”

“But why did you follow?” His eyebrow was raised by this point.

Looking into the dark, open road beyond them she gave her head a small shake, “I don’t know. It was like they were in my head, telling me to follow.”

Except, she couldn’t even explain the ‘they’ part either.

Taken aback by the honest statement Jacob placed his other hand on Hannah’s other shoulder and gave a light squeeze. He wasn’t completely relaxed, but it helped that she came clean about something; it soothed Jacob to know that they both hadn’t been let into each other’s live completely yet. Bethany was his biggest secret, even above his shape shifting. And apparently, this scar on Hannah’s lower half seemed to itch her insides, too.

“C’mon, let’s go home.”

His car was on idle just like he should have been, surprisingly, though, Jacob’s hands tangled themselves behind Hannah’s neck and pulled her closer to him. All Jacob wanted was to feel her body pressed up against his; reassuring that his big blow-out earlier that night hadn’t scared her away just yet, because if that frightened her away, then she’d definitely want to re-think dating a wolf.

His lips kissed the top of her soft hair, firmly. Jacob’s eyes were shut as if he was taking everything in during that moment. It was weird, he thought, that although he was standing in the closest proximity anyone could stand to another, he missed Hannah. She was the only one who seemed to cross his mind, even Bethany hadn’t interfered his thoughts after that little mishap. Then it’s like a light bulb went off in his head. Maybe he was supposed to just be honest with Hannah from the very beginning like his friends urged him to do.

Hannah laced her fingers around the middle of Jacob’s torso, then pressing firmly on his heated back. Nuzzling her face against his collarbone, she pressed the side of her face to his left side and listened to his fast tempo of a song. She smiled, because she knew the sound all too familiar; when she got nervous her heart went rapid just as Jacob’s was doing. Sucking in the air, quietly, Hannah squeezed Jacob closer to her. All she wanted at this point was to curl up in a ball with him, she loved the way he made her feel; so safe, so warm, so loved.

“I’ve got to go,” He whispered.

Whining she looked into his decadent eyes, “no.”

Chuckling from her amusing pouty face he nodded his head, “yes. But hey,” he grabbed her chin the moment she looked down. He wanted to talk to her golden eyes and not the top of her head, “what do you say you and I go to First Beach tomorrow?”

“Just you and I?”

“Sure, but no guarantees that the guys won’t be there.”

“No, I want them there,” Her hands grabbed his.

Giving her a nice, sweet smile he agreed, “anything for you.”

After he kissed her hands, he took glances behind him to make sure that she was still there when he left. She looked so pretty within the skim moonlight; as if it were her own personal spot light cascading down upon her entire form. As he rolled down the passenger window down, Hannah folded her arms across the middle of her body for warmth and bent down to meet his gaze. “I’ll be here by one o’clock, sharp. Wear a nice bathing suit,” he winked, when he got the reaction he wanted out of her: her mouth agape, and eyes twinkling, obviously she was blushing in the darkness.

“You tease! Now, get home,” She slowly backed away.