Detention With Severus Snape

* ~ December 5 ~ *

Today was hectic to the extreme. I'm still in shock over Colin's sudden development of a backbone, and now Ginny keeps making huge eyes and saying "Awww!" every time we come within two meters of each other. It's extremely exasperating. I decided not to inform my parents of the situation, because last time... Well, that's not worth thinking about at the moment.
At least I had some peace over the weekend. I saw Professor Snape a few times, but he seems to be actively avoiding me (again) so disaster was, thankfully, averted. I did, however, encounter Professor Lupin in the library. And, surprisingly enough, he seemed to know about the last task I'd performed upon Professor Snape. He seemed rather amused, which I don't blame him for.
Anyway, back to today. Which was hectic. As I've already clarified. First, the mail brought Dad's birthday presents to me (thanks be to God that Mum didn't have a hand in selecting them) which were: an old-fashioned type-writer, and a copy of The Joy of Gay Sex. Alright, my dad is really creepy. And knows me all too well.
Then, there was potions. I arrived, sat down, and quietly read my new book, The Joy of Gay Sex, heehee. Professor Snape glanced up at me once and I could tell he saw the title of the book, because he went red all the way to the ears before looking back down at the papers he was grading. He always seems to be grading something. Maybe he should get a new hobby, like... Having sex with Professor Lupin.
Everyone came into class, bell rang, so on and so forth. Then... Ultimate humiliation. Luna, brandishing an enlarged version of one of those heart-shaped candy boxes that people get on Valentine's Day, made her way to the front of the room and presented it to Professor Snape. He got this look on his face that clearly read, "Oh, no. Not you, too." However, he simply snatched the box away and tried to shoo Luna back to her seat.
She wasn't moving, though. She just stared and stared at him, with those big, orb-like eyes. After a few minutes under such torture, Professor Snape shuddered and gave in, gingerly opening the box. From which he extracted the puppets that Luna had sewn. Which were being held together at the hand by a red heart.
The only sound in the room as Luna made her way back to her seat was the thump of my head hitting my desk. As I stared at the dark wood, I faintly registered Professor Snape's voice, at barely a hiss. "Detention, Miss Lovegood, Miss Page."
"I had nothing to do with it..." I protested weakly as the class started sniggering uncontrollably.
"And ten points from Ravenclaw. I'll see you both in my office immediately after dinner tonight." With a few well-placed glares, he silenced the class and started the lesson; he stowed the puppets in his desk, presumably to fuel a fire later on in the night.
Afterwards was herbology, a class in which we've had a steady, eclectic stream of substitute teachers ever since Professor Sprout died last year. That class was with the Slytherins, who I thought would be bearable, but apparently not. They kept making references to my wild displays of unadultered affection towards Professor Snape.
Then there was lunch, then Defense Against the Dark Arts, in which we learned advanced applications of something to something else. I wasn't listening at all (seems to be becoming a habit) and doodling naked pictures of Professor Snape in my notes when along came Professor Lupin and... Well, you can pretty much guess the view he got. Thank Merlin I'm on his good side, or else I probably would have gotten in trouble. Instead, he said something about listening or whatever and went back to lecturing. Of course, my inattentiveness didn't come in so handy during the practical stage of the class. Luna had to tell me what it was exactly that we were doing and my performance after that was... Less than stellar. Of course, Professor Lupin being the mother hen that he is, or something like that, felt the need to talk to me after class. I swear, if I didn't already know he was gay I'd say he wanted to get in my pants.
"Yes, Professor?"
"Nadia, I noticed that you were a little... Distracted... During class. Is there any particular reason for it?" Hmm... Professor Snape is too damned sexy for his own good?
"Er... I... Just haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm sorry, Professor. It won't happen again." At least Professor Lupin is a bit more forgiving than Professor Snape.
"You're not sleeping well? Is there something wrong?" Alright, I've come to the conclusion that there has to be some ulterior motive to him being so blatantly nice to me. He's nice to all his students, but not this nice.
"No... Nothing I can think of." Aww, he looked so cute with his brow furrowed.
"Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open."
"Alright, Professor. Oh!" It was at that time that I remembered my... Birthday present. "I have something to show you!" He raised his eyebrows, looking a bit apprehensive.
"Really? What?" I searched in my back until I found The Joy of Gay Sex, then pulled it out and showed it to him.
"Now I have it, too!" I love it when he blushes.
"Er... Ahm... I... See." He seemed rather uncomfortable. Good! "...Where did you get that, anyway? And what would you use it for?"
"I got it from my dad. And I can use it for my writing."
"...I suppose it would be best not to ask." Especially since most of the stories involve him.
"This is really a great book just to have for fun, too."
"I think that's enough chatting for one day," Professor Lupin replied quickly, holding up his hands as if in a surrender and smiling nervously.
"Okay, see you later, then." I grabbed my bag and left, intending to get a head start on some of my homework. However, as I was passing through the courtyard, who would I see but... (Drum roll) Colin! Oi.
"Hey, Colin." I really don't know why people seem to give me the deer- in-headlights look so often, but it never gets old.
"Oh. Hi."
"How are you?"
"Fine." Silence. I sighed and sat down on a bench, taking some time to relax.
"So," I began uncertainly, "I'm... looking forward to the Yule Ball."
"Yeah. Me too." More silence. Damn you, Colin.
"I've got homework to get to. I'll see you later."
"Right. See you later." So, I left Colin to his own devices and instead spent my valuable time doing... Homework. Icky. Then there was dinner, which was boring. Afterwards, Luna and I went down to the dungeons for our detention.
Professor Snape was surprisingly... What's the word? Civil. He told us to take inventory of the student stores and then just sat and read. Since there were two of us, we made quick work of it, which was quite fortunate, since I hate doing inventory. "Professor? We're done."
"Hm?" Blinking, he set the book down and I thought I saw... But it's really silly. I thought that the title on the cover read Treasure Island. I was probably mistaken, though. "Oh." He glared at us, obviously angry that we hadn't suffered as much as he'd hoped. "You may go," He said tightly, turning back to his book as he waved us off. So, we went on our merry way, and I wondered if Professor Snape might have broken. There must be some reason he was acting so mellow. Oh, well. At least he isn't running around drinking people's blood.