Detention With Severus Snape

September 2
Well, I've done it. I got up early, and snuck up to the owlery, giving Luna's owl (Snork) the love letter and telling him to give it to Professor Snape at breakfast. Snork agreed rather willingly, so I made my way back to the dorm and got dressed and ready for the first day of classes. I was actually looking forward to seeing Snape's reaction to the letter, so I was fidgeting a lot while I waited for Luna to finish getting ready. Of course, when we finally got down to breakfast, there was the painful wait until the post came. At last, the owls began flying into the Great Hall, and I grinned at Luna, then glanced towards the Gryffindor table; Ginny was smiling widely and looking at the staff table from the corner of her eye.
I looked up at the staff table to see Snape, looking rather surprised. Snork was picking at his breakfast, the letter still tied to his leg. Snape hesitated, then took the letter, looking it over carefully; it was as if he'd never gotten a letter before in his life. After taking a little bath in the professor's cereal, Snork flew away, spraying quite a few teachers with milk; well, what do you expect from Luna's owl? After that display, Snape dried himself off and slowly opened the envelope, sliding the letter out and reading it. His eyebrows immediately flew up, and he seemed to become more and more surprised by the second. I think he must have read it three times over before he finally put it down, looking like a deer in headlights. My mum's a muggle, by the way...
Looking at the Gryffindor table, I saw Ginny covering her mouth, trying to suppress her laughter; it was kind of funny, seeing Professor Snape looking like that. I watched as the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, leaned over and said something to him. He sneered and stuffed the letter back in its envelope, his ears turning a bit red. This was too rich. "Do you see this?" I muttered to Luna, who nodded absently.
"It's entertaining," she answered, returning to her breakfast. Yes, it certainly was.
Upon receiving the course schedule for the year, I observed that our first class of the day was Arithmancy with the Gryffindors. It would be an excellent opportunity to show Ginny just what Professor Snape had gotten so flustered over.
I entered the classroom and took a seat near the back, with Luna, unpacking my bag. When the Gryffindors started filtering in, I waved Ginny over; Colin Creevey was with her, so he joined us in the back, as well. "Hello, Nadia." He grinned stupidly at me, his eyes glazing over.
"Hi, Colin," I replied dismissively, turning to Ginny, holding out the love letter. "Take a look at it!" I prompted. Unfortunately, class started then. However, it was quite lucky that we were given assignments to do in groups. Luna, Ginny, Colin and I worked together, rushing through our assignment. When we were finished, I finally had my chance to hand the letter over to Ginny. She eagerly snatched it from my hand and read it carefully, her eyes lighting up.
"Oh!" she sighed. "It's so romantic! My God, it sounds like you really are in love with him!" She paused for a beat, then we all burst out laughing. All, of course, except Colin, who was looking both shocked and forlorn.
"You're in love?" he asked me, sounding as if I'd just told him he had an hour to live.
"No, of course not," I snapped, sounding a bit harsher than I'd meant to. "If you must know, we're just having a little fun with Professor Snape." Colin's face lit up.
"You mean you're playing a joke on Snape?" Ginny grinned.
"Shall we let him in on the operation?" she asked, sizing Colin up. Luna nodded, so we immediately launched into an explanation. When we were finished, he laughed until his face turned red, and by the time he had himself under control he was wiping tears from his eyes.
"Anyone in love with Snape is simply hilarious, let alone you!" he exclaimed, sighing. "But, what is this whole thing called, exactly?"
"The Triple S," Luna replied, as if we'd all figured it out by then. "Or the SSS, if you prefer." We all shot her inquisitive looks. "The Seduction of Severus Snape," she elaborated. Our laughter was so uproarious that Professor Vector had to personally come to the back of the class to get us to quiet down.
After class, I personally burned the copy of the letter- wouldn't want anyone finding it in my possession, now, would I? Afterwards, I headed off to Herbology with the Slytherins. It went as it usually did- Luna and I grouped with a couple of Slytherins, we acted fairly civil, ended up arguing a bit, then parted with tight smiles. It had been a rather messy class, so I stopped off at the dorms to wash up and clean my prefect badge before running down to lunch. I eyed the wanton potions professor all throughout the meal, but it seemed as if the effects of my fake love letter had worn off. I sighed inwardly; oh, well... There were many more to be written, after all.
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, but after lessons Ginny, Luna, and Colin gave me my next assignment, after reviewing their schedules. "The first potions class is at the end of the week," Luna stated as she read the latest edition of The Quibbler.
"We'll have to give you a task for the lesson," Ginny said pensively. "But what?"
"I have an idea," Colin cut in, a small smile playing at his lips. We looked at him expectantly, and were not disappointed. "Well, a lot of muggle media portrays a boy smelling a girl's hair, because he fancies her..." He trailed off for a bit, fighting down a giggle. I swear, he is the only member of the male species I have ever met who actually giggles. Anyway... Colin continued his explanation. "Why don't you smell Snape's hair? And not discreetly, either... Take a long, noisy whiff, and then sigh afterwards." We stared at him.
"Colin..." I muttered. "You're a genius." He smiled brightly as we all laughed lowly at our brilliant plans.
By the way, I found some silver ink I thought I'd lost last year, so I used it to write "The SSS - Seduction of Severus Snape," on the cover of this journal in some elegant script. I think it turned out rather well.